KCB in Progress

Dear Chris Christie, Get Over It!

2012-01-27T10:33:00.000-05:00

Yes, the New York Giants play in East Rutherford, NJ. But they are still the New York Giants - or the New York Football Giants if you are old school. Dallas plays in Arlington, Buffalo plays in Orchard Park, Phoenix plays in Glendale and Washington plays in Landover. So what the stadium is not in New York City, they are still the New York Giants. Get over it already. New Jersey is not and never will be New York. Stop trying to be what you are not. I'm sure New Jersey has some very fine qualities. (Please note that that is said with only a tad of sarcasm.) You need to promote New Jersey's fine qualities and stop trying to compete with New York. It just isn't happening. If you keep trying to be New York, you will remain the tacky wannabe. If you highlight the finer qualities of your state, maybe you can stand on your own as something good. But give it up with the Giants already. And while I'm at it - you go Governor Cuomo - you tell him "He should read the helmets,” Cuomo said. “New York Giants.”

He had a good run

2012-01-26T14:02:00.000-05:00

I went to a funeral yesterday. It was for my uncle. He was 102, almost 103 when he died. His body had failed him in recent years, but his mind was sharp. He was a good man, kind and gentle. He was a trailblazer in our family - a Protestant of English heritage marrying into an Irish Roman Catholic family. My aunt, his wife was my grandmother's sister and the sister most like my grandmother making her especially beloved to us. She always catered to him. But then, she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's. She couldn't do what she once did. And then, he catered to her. He truly lived the vows of "for better or worse, in sickness and in health". Imagine at 102, all the things that happened in his lifetime - inventions, world history. A couple of relatives spoke at his funeral, telling the lessons they had learned from him about how to live a good, long life. From the funny - eat ice cream every day - to the practical - stay physically active - to the spiritual - love your family - they were good lessons. It was sad to say goodbye to Uncle M yesterday, but he had a good long run and we were blessed that he was part of the family. Godspeed Uncle M.

Moving in the right direction again

2012-01-24T06:56:00.000-05:00

Down 2.2 pounds this week! How? I stuck to my points. I tracked most days. I have no challenges that I am aware of for next week, except that fitting any exercise in will be hard, but I need to try. My goal is going to be to lose 10 pounds by the end of March. I think it's a really realistic goal. I had thought about a goal of 10 pounds in 8 weeks. That would require 1.25 lbs lost each week. That could be hard and I don't want to get myself discouraged. I also didn't want to make it too easy a goal - like 10 pounds by summer. That would lead to my being lax. So, 10 pounds, 10 weeks means 1 pound a week. Not the easiest thing always, but definitely can be done. I'm off to a good start. Now, I just have to stick with it. If I can get down 5 by Valentines Day, I plan to treat myself to some chocolate - good chocolate!

SUPER BOWL BOUND!!

2012-01-23T06:56:00.002-05:00

Ding dong the bitch is gone

2012-01-20T10:39:00.000-05:00

Actually, multiple bitches are gone. I did a little facebook purge this week. I had been meaning to do it for since the start of the year and kept forgetting. There were some people that I had blocked from seeing my posts for some time and now I have deleted them as friends completely. I feel a bit of a release there! These were people who were not positive influences in my life, but I left them on as friends rather than deal with the possible negative consequences of the "unfriend" action. But now, I felt ready to do a little housecleaning. So, dear bitch you are no longer in my world and dear not-so-much-a-bitch-but-self-centered-and-holier-than-thou-woman, you're gone too.
And, another bitch is one step more removed from my life. My brother is divorced. Yay. Double Yay actually. The double yay is because when it was final yesterday, my brother called the house to tell us. A answered the phone and talked to him, not me. My brother and my husband are developing a relationship and that just makes me so happy, so double yay!

UGH

2012-01-17T07:00:00.000-05:00

I could have avoided this post. But, I need to be accountable. Not that it is helping me any. I gained this week. More than I'm happy with. I did it to myself. I was pretty good going into the evening that I knew would be a challenge. I think I could have survived the effect of that night. But then I ate more - way more - than I should have for lunch on Sunday. Then went to my brother's girlfriend's house to watch the Giants game, so faced an unplanned challenge and FAILED. Then had more than I should have for lunch yesterday. And limited exercise. So, where to go from here. Right now, I'm debating between giving myself two weeks to get myself going with doing weight watchers on my own and going back to Medifast. At the party on Saturday, I found out that two of the other wives are doing Medifast. One is even becoming a Medifast coach. It worked for me before, but I have to commit to it. I tried to do it once without really committing to it and that just doesn't work. I would also have to be honest about which of their foods work for me and which don't. It might limit my choices, but maybe that's okay, if it gets me to lose weight.
I read something on the WW site today that my help. I need to set myself a concrete goal. So, I'm going to think about that. I have the goal of the weight I want to get to, but I need to give myself a timetable. To say "I need to lose 10 pounds" without giving myself a deadline seems to be leading to my being a little lax about doing what I need to do. I've been trying to set myself weekly goals, but that's not enough obviously. So, I'm going to think about a realistic goal - and rewards - and also an exercise program I can commit to.

If you can't say something nice...part two

2012-01-12T19:34:00.000-05:00

A grammar school classmate of mine posted recently on facebook that another classmate had passed away recently. There were the expected "oh how sad" comments. There were the "he was such a good guy" comments. None were from me. My memories of him were all of how mean he was to me in grammar school. I was surprised to hear how he had such a good heart and was such a nice guy now, as my brother had told me otherwise. Basically, he was still mean and, sadly, his meanness was still directed at the same age group. It's not my place to say anything. The man is dead. And perhaps, in recent years, he had reformed. For his sake, for his soul's sake, I hope so.

A diet post and a knitting post

2012-01-11T06:38:00.000-05:00

So, I lost about half a pound. All things considered, not so bad. I was only semi-good in dealing with the challenges faced in my business trip. I did get in some exercise this week, and I was very good with the points leading up to the trip, so I think those factors balanced out the bad. And then yesterday on the trip home, as I'm snacking on combos I realized that they had salt on them. I realized I was once again, the night before weighing, semi-sabotaging myself by eating something that would lead to water retention. I will have two challenges this week - lunch with colleagues today is the first. That is manageable in two ways. First, I can choose a healthy entree, second I can adjust what I might normally have for dinner to something that is lower points. My second challenge this week will be a birthday party for friends. There I will have to try to manage the quantity that I eat. I also hope to get some more exercise in this week.

Now for knitting - eight hours on a train is good for knitting! That was two four hour trips. A's second sock is almost done. I probably would have gotten more knitting done, but I hadn't downloaded enough videos to watch on the trip, so at a certain point, I switched to playing games and reading to pass the time. (I like to have some other distraction while I'm knitting.) I am almost done with a little sweater for my niece, knit with some of my Rhinebeck stash. Next I'll be starting on a baby blanket for friends. The pattern I'm using is one I've been itching to try. I think it is lovely and classy and a tad Irish. After that, I'll be digging into knitting an afghan for my future sister-in-law. I thought I had settled on a pattern, but now I think that it would be too much of a time commitment and I'm honestly not sure that she would appreciate the difficulty involved in it. Plus, as I'm getting to know her better, I think her style is a little less busy than that pattern. So I'm looking at patterns with cables, but not too busy. I may even try to put one of my own together. My goal is to find something that can be completed in a couple of months.

Is it Friday yet?

2012-01-06T14:06:00.000-05:00

Yes! This work week has not been as long as last week - even though it actually is by about 90 minutes. Last week dragged so bad - I think it was the holiday hangover. The week before Christmas seemed to fly. Work is really busy - budgets due, etc. I had planned a year end recap post. I had planned a Christmas review. I had planned a Wednesday happiness post. Didn't happen - any of them. I might still try to do a post on how last year went for me. As for Christmas, aside from dinner on Christmas Eve being just a tad late for my taste, it was all good. Is it awful of me to say that I was happy with my presents? You know - sometimes you get that present that just makes you say "huh?" Especially the ones where the giver says "I saw this and just thought of you." And you are sitting htere thinking "Seriously?" but saying "oh how lovely!" I'm sure I've given my fair share of them. None of those this year. Of course - the soon to be ex-SIL is not in the picture and she was always a good one for those. I didn't see any of my family this year for Christmas - the first time ever - so that was kind of sad. And A had to work Christmas Day and night, but we got to spend plenty of time together, so no sadness there.
January is not my favorite month. It's cold. Work is really busy. And there are sad memories.
But life goes on. I can wallow in self-pity or look for the good in my world and that's what I choose to do.

New Year, New Start

2012-01-03T06:52:00.000-05:00

I'm talking about my weight loss plan. All in all, I wasn't as bad as I was last year at this time. I gained over the last two weeks. That was not unexpected. I tried to really stick to my points on the non-holiday days, but was a little loose on the actual holidays. The bigger problem though was the availability of bad things to eat and my lack of willpower. Like the remains of the rum cake that I made for Christmas - I couldn't not eat it. Well - I could have thrown out the remains. I should have done that, but I didn't. So, willpower is something I really need to work on, and when it's not there, get rid of the tempting item. I also am hoping to get some activity in going forward. It's not going to be easy, with my work schedule ramping up. I think I should be able to get some in a couple of times a week. That's what I'm shooting for right now, not a daily thing as I don't think that's realistic. I won't be able to weigh in again next Tuesday, so I'll push it back until Wednesday. My challenge this week will be a business trip. I need to not fall prey to the habit of snacking while on the train ride. I'll be having dinner with colleagues, so I need to keep my portion sizes reasonable. I also need to find something to focus on as my goal - maybe a picture of a thinner me that I keep visible to remind me of where I want to get. Or take a pair of pants that are too tight right now and hang them where I can see them. Or both.

Happiness is....

2011-12-28T17:59:00.000-05:00

....a short work week....fried raviolis
....days getting longer
....a silly, cuddly puppy dog
....3 short work weeks in a row
....a successful first attempt at making a rum cake - I see more of those in my future

Happiness is....

2011-12-21T06:41:00.000-05:00

Today - some of my favorite things....

My husband's smile. I remember the first time he smiled at me and I realized that smile was for ME.
My husband's hugs. There is no place better than in his arms.
My dog's soft coat and wagging tail and big brown eyes.
Rachmaninoff & Tchaikovsky
Bruce Springsteen's version of Santa Claus is Coming to Town and Jon Bon Jovi's version of Baby Please Come Home
Jon Bon Jovi in concert.
New England in the fall
sitting on my porch on a nice summer morning, reading the paper, drinking coffee
football
Some smells - cinnamon, vanilla, pine trees
Roses
Freshly cut grass
Slipping into a bed made with freshly laundered sheets
the sound of the ocean
Mint chocolate chip ice cream
filet mignon
butter cream frosting
Marching bands
Pretty, soft yarn
Turning pretty soft yarn into something someone will enjoy
a good book
chocolate, preferably dark, never white
the smell of coffee

Heading the wrong way

2011-12-20T06:30:00.000-05:00

My scale is still being a little wonky, but there was no hiding from the fact that I gained this week. Of course, I had Chinese again last night, so I think the gain is not really as bad as it looks, but I'm up almost a pound - or a whole pound, depending on which reading you believe and depending on how much water retention I have from dinner last night. So, besides last night's Chinese food, why the gain? Total lack of control this week. There was a Christmas breakfast at work and I enjoyed the goodies. Then there were the platters of cookies and boxes of candy that were dropped off that I enjoyed. I didn't drink enough water. And I didn't track my points. I didn't eat much fruit either, instead snacking on weight watchers snacks which though low in points, still add up. Now, this week is Christmas. I expect that to be my only challenge this week. There shouldn't be a lot of goodies at work. We may have dinner with friends on Thursday, which could prove to be a challenge, but I think is manageable. Truth is - it's all manageable, if I want to manage it. I can eat what I want as long as I keep the portion sizes within reason. I will be glad when this week is over though. Sticking to the plan will be a lot easier after the holiday season is done.

Mondays and other things that annoy me

2011-12-19T10:19:00.000-05:00

Mondays are just so harsh. A week starting on Tuesday would be so much nicer. Mondays just annoy me, unless I have it off.

People who are constantly happy, cheerful and chipper annoy me. I once had a dental hygienist who was cheery at 7 am. I couldn't take it. Those kind of people just annoy me. I think it's because the cheeriness is fake. Maybe they really are that freaking happy all the time, but I'm not convinced. It's the phoniness I hate, not the happiness. If it was genuine happiness, I would be okay with it, but let's face it, we all have our bitch moments, don't try to pretend otherwise.

Singers who do the vibrato thing on almost every note annoy me. Josh Groban, I'm talking to you. His version of O Holy Night is lovely, but his version of I'll be Home for Christmas sounds like it was recorded while he was driving down a cobblestone road.

Drivers who get in the left lane then fail to drive at the going rate annoy me. I notice that most of them are New Yorkers. If you see a driver with plates from another state doing it, odds are they are a native New Yorker. See, I'm from Connecticut. We drive fast. At least down in southern CT that is.

Smarmy quotes as part of your e-mail signature annoy me. Or uplifting quotes. Or "empowering" or "motivational" quotes. BARF! In addition to being annoying, unless you are a motivational speaker, I think it's a bit unprofessional as well. Just your name please.

The blatantly pious annoy me. Yeah Tim Tebow, I mean you. I have no doubt he believes as deeply as he states - but does he really need to be in your face with it? He reminds me of the parable about the two men praying in the church - one saying basically "look at me God, I tithe, I fast, I'm not like those other guys" and the other one saying "please be merciful to me, I'm a sinner". I would much rather hang out with the second guy, thank you very much.

The Giants playing like crap yesterday really, really annoys me. It's been a tale of two teams this season. You have the team that beat the Patriots and the Cowboys, then the team that lost to the Redskins and the Eagles. I'm thinking that the Colts and the Vikings are wishing the Giants were on their schedules this year! Now, we have to beat the Jets and the Cowboys to make the playoffs. Well - if the same Jets that played yesterday show up next week, we might have a chance. I really, really, really don't want it to be the Jets who end our playoff hopes. Now that would be REALLY annoying!

Later this week - a few of my favorite things.

Happiness is....

2011-12-14T11:41:00.000-05:00

....happy holiday memories. As I was heading home the other night, I heard the Muppets version of "The Twelve Days of Christmas" on the radio. It reminded me of my college days when we came up with "The Twelve Days of College." I went to women's college, run by nuns. Some nuns lived in the dorms. Freshman year, my dorm mates and I sometimes ran afoul of one of the nuns on our floor. And so, one December night, we made up a song about Sr Alma and the things she had said to us. Thus was born "The Twelve Days of College." I can't remember them all now - but they included...

Don't mess around with me (First day of college)
Girls in bed by eleven
Lights out at seven
Don't you ever sleep
There are no ghosts (a reference to an old college myth)
When do you work
I need my rest
None of you made the Dean's list (my personal favorite)

After freshman year, our relationship with Sr Alma improved. We grew up, she mellowed a bit. It actually got so good that junior year, when most students would move out to one of the other dorms, a large group of us decided to stay in our dorm, on Sr Alma's floor. When my father died junior year, she was one of the people to whom I turned for comfort. She had lost her father a couple of years before and understood what I was going through.

We had a lot of traditions at our college that revolved around the Christmas holiday. One was the Christmas Dinner. The Seniors' Little Sister Class, the Sophomores, would plan the menu and the entertainment for the dinner and they served the Seniors at the dinner. It's important to note that this was a small school, with one dining room, where we all ate together, nuns included. So at the dinner my senior year, our old 3rd floor of Fontbonne group (we did all move out Senior year to one of the other buildings) got together and helped provide some of the entertainment. We got up there and sang "The Twelve Days of College" for our old friend Sr Alma. She loved it. She laughed and nodded, recalling the things she had said back then. Happy memories!

I'm calling it even

2011-12-13T06:32:00.001-05:00

My scale was being a little odd this morning. I usually weigh myself a couple of times to be sure I've got a good reading. Today didn't go so well with that. I had anything from 147.4 to 148.6. It was moving a lot while I stood on it and the final readings were varying. It may be time for a new scale. At the very least a new battery, since it really didn't want to turn on! So - why would I have stayed stable or maybe gained or maybe lost just a little? Well, virtually no exercise for one. I've been dealing with a sinus issue all week and except for a lot of walking Saturday, I got no exercise. Saturday was the Christmas party at the firehouse, so I definitely ate things that I shouldn't have, but I did plan for that. I didn't eat as much fruit this week and I feel like I didn't drink as much water. I've found over the years that I do better with weight loss when I drink enough water. Another factor - Chinese food for dinner last night. I tend to retain water after eating Chinese. I may weigh myself again tomorrow morning just to see what happens. This week's goal will be to drink plenty of water. I will have a challenge Friday night, as we are going to a Christmas party and I expect to drink my points. I'll be happy to stay stable this week all things considered.

Happiness is....

2011-12-07T06:46:00.000-05:00

....finding out just how good the dealership you got your car from is. Yesterday, my driver side windshield wiper started acting funny while on the highway, not making good contact, looking wobbly, then at about 70 mph, it flew off. If you imagine I was a little freaked out, you are right. I got myself to work - wasn't far. When the rain stopped, I hightailed it on over to the dealership. They were shocked - no way that should have happened with a factory installed wiper. My salesman happened to be in the service bay when I pulled in. He took a picture of the wiper stem. When I asked the service guy about whether or not it was under any warranty, he said no, but Joe (salesman) took care of it. Now, I may not go back there for my next car if I'm ready to get my dream car (Mercedes Benz) when this lease is up, but if it's not going to be the Benz, you can get I'm going back to there and you can bet I'll buy from Joe. I know a windshield wiper is not much - but it's just the way they took care of me from the day I walked in to buy the car. I suppose they do have 3 years in which to screw up and lose my future business, but for now, I'm very happy.

Didn't expect that! In a good way!

2011-12-06T06:28:00.000-05:00

I'm down 1.4 pounds this week! Yay for me! That puts me at 147.8. I was concerned because I was not very active this week. Work interfered as did being a bit under the weather. I've been pretty good about staying close to my daily points value most days, maybe a point over or so, with only one day where I really dug into those bonus points. So, this is good. I will have one big challenge this coming week, with the firehouse Christmas Party on Saturday. No booze, but sweets and other fattening foods. I'm going to try to stay reasonable with what I eat on Saturday - not denying myself, yet not indulging myself either. Again, I will try to be more active, but I fear this little sinus thing I have going on may hinder that. I would like to get to 147, but I think that's a big nut, so I'll be happy with a half pound loss this week.

A Creature of Habit

2011-12-03T09:36:00.000-05:00

That's me. I'm a creature of habit. I have routines. I'm comfortable with my routines. I don't like people messing with my routines. It's things like the order in which I get ready for work in the morning, parking in a certain spot, taking a certain route. Unfortunately, I'm sometimes disproportionately upset over forced changes to my routine when compared to the actual incident. Probably the worst is when someone parks in my favorite spot at work. If I'm in the right state, that can just throw my whole day off. So, why is this now a topic of my blog? Well, I have a regular routine related to annual event that is upcoming and now I found out that I won't be able to follow my regular routine. The event can be a difficult one for me, but I stick it out because there are people I see at it that I love and enjoy being with and I don't get to see them often enough. Following my typical routine allows me time alone to prepare, to decompress in advance, to get to a low-level, stable state. It helps put me in a place where I can handle the difficult part to the event. Being with people I enjoy provides the rest of the balance I need. I had already found out some time ago that my getting to be with the people I enjoy to hang with will be impaired or restricted. Now, I have found out that I will not be able to follow my typical routine to prepare, to decompress and have that calmness I need going in. I'm afraid I'll be keyed up from the start, anticipating bad things (because I have a tendency to borrow trouble), I'll be on edge working hard to hide my discomfort and it will end up being a miserable time for me. I'm feeling a little trapped already and I'm afraid it will get worse. I feel like there's nothing I can do about it without being seen as an unreasonable, selfish, cold, crazy bitch. I need to find something that will help me deal with it.

Well how about that! Losing can be good!

2011-11-29T06:30:00.000-05:00

I did better than expected this week - lost .6 pounds. My goal for the week had been to stay stable. I did a little better than that! How did that happen with Thanksgiving and the last tailgate of the season? Well first, I'm going to guess that when I weighed myself last Tuesday, maybe there was a little extra water weight. I had eaten Chinese the night before, never a good thing right before weigh-in. So, I'm guessing I took a little off in those couple of days before Thanksgiving. Next, although I ate quite well at Thanksgiving dinner, I only ate two meals that day, so I probably stayed pretty close to my daily point allowance. Same thing with Saturday and the tailgate, I really only ate two meals. One was bigger than normal, but I likely stayed close to my daily points allowance. I also got some walking in during the week and I'm sure that helped. This week's goal is to lose again. I'll be happy with 1/2 pound. Another goal for this week is to get some exercise in. The good news is that I don't have any real challenges for a while. That should help out.

Happiness is....

2011-11-23T10:21:00.000-05:00

...balancing the bank rec. And I'm not happy. Since my assistant retired and his replacement doesn't start until Monday, one of the things I have had to do is the bank recs. Well, the big one just is not being friendly to me. UGH!

Weekly weigh in

2011-11-22T06:27:00.000-05:00

I'm up a pound. I expected that getting on the scale. I was hoping to be pleasantly surprised, but I knew I had done a lot of damage this week. I was good up until Friday night. We went to dinner with A's brother and his fiancee. I had 3 glasses of wine, fried zucchini, too much of the entrees and then tiramisu for dessert and a cannoli. Follow that up with tailgating on Saturday - beer, muffins, egg sandwiches, doughnuts, etc. I think the worst though was on Sunday, when I could have gone right back on track and chose instead to eat the leftover muffin from Saturday and leftover cannolis from Friday. I'm sure it didn't help that I really got not exercise in this week. I did get back on track on Monday. We'll see how Thanksgiving week goes. My original goal for this week was to lose 1/2 pound and to stay stable for the week of Thanksgiving. So, I'm 1 1/2 pounds behind. I don't plan to make that up this week. I'm still shooting for staying stable for a week. That will require restraint at the table on Thursday. I also want to get to the gym a time or two.

30 years is not so long ago when you love someone

2011-11-18T10:10:00.000-05:00

My father died thirty years ago today. He is in the back row, last man on the right. I wish I had more pictures of him scanned. 30 years seems so long ago, but it doesn't feel like long ago that my father was here with us. I was a daddy's girl. I think that's in part because when I was about 2, my father had to have back surgery and couldn't work, so my mother went back to work. Daddy stayed home with me and was my primary caregiver. My father liked to think we all looked like him. Truth is, 3 of the four of us look very much like our mother. My older sister does resemble Dad more. We do have some of him in us, of course. We three older children all have his brown eyes. My younger sister's nose is more like Dad's than Mom's. I inherited his lack of a butt. My sisters got his wavy hair. My brother's hair is very dark like Dad's. Daddy was quirky. He was pretty much color blind - or at least he appeared that way judging by his choice in outfits some times. As a teenager, I once sent him back to his room to change when he was headed to some official function as First Selectman. All I remember was that it was bad and there was orange involved. He used to wait until my sister and I came home from school at Christmas to do his Christmas shopping for Mom. He tried to get each of us to choose a college in Florida so he could come visit us. He loved to do projects around the house. Our first house had a brick wall he built, a sidewalk to the back door, a wishing-well to hide the garbage cans, a dry well for the gutters, a basketball court, a bridge over the creek running through the backyard, a large porch with a built-in bench and an extended covered front entryway that no other house in our development had - all because he built them. He saved the motor from every appliance that died. He was a good dancer, but gave up trying to teach me to dance because I always tried to lead. He loved Julie Andrews. "Gee she's pretty" he would say about her. He liked to tease the dog. He would fall asleep watching tv, but if you changed the channel, he would instantly wake up and say "I was watching that." He didn't cook much, but would grill himself hotdogs for lunch. Like every day. Once, when our dog was sick, he would come home to check on him - thinking we didn't know he was doing that. Such a softie. He couldn't deal with his daughters pouting or just being quietly sad. It was the easiest way to get him to do something you wanted that he had said no to earlier. He had a distinctive walk. I can still hear him coming down the hall. He used to stand with his feet pointing outward, arms crossed and he would rock on the balls of his feet. My cousins - his brother's sons - all do it too. It is weird when I see them doing it from behind because they look like him. He loved my mother. So much. He was proud of her accomplishments. I will never forget the day he came home from the hospital and told us she had cancer. He had trouble getting it out before he started to cry. He was man enough that he could cry in front of his children. I have to say we got our love of sports equally from Dad as from Mom. But it was Dad who would come out and play ball with us. "How about you let your old man take a shot?" he would say when we were out playing basketball. He liked to play golf - not that he was that good at it. He was a bit of a picky eater. Okay he was a really picky eater. One of the traits I got from him was the ability to know, without even tasting something, that I would hate it. But every once in a while he would try new things. He was religious. During Lent, he would walk from his office to church every day at lunch hour to go to Mass. When we were little, our parish had a 6 am Mass on weekdays during Lent. He would get us all up and every day we went with him. He was an honest man and an honorable man. I am so lucky to have been his daughter. I think he would have loved my husband. I can just see how the two of them would have tackled projects together. And he would have loved his grandchildren - teaching them to ride a bike, throw a ball - he would have doted on them. I like to think that he looks down on us and is proud of his family.

Happiness is....

2011-11-16T09:50:00.000-05:00

....two things I'm happy about right now. One is I'm nearly finished with a knitting project. If you are on Ravelry - this is the jacket I made. http://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/monas-jacket. All I have left to do is to make the buttons, sew them on and put snaps on under the buttons. The other thing I'm happy about is that it is Wednesday already! I'm not wishing my life away, but I was afraid this week was going to go by oh so slowly - and it hasn't! yay!

Weekly Weigh In

2011-11-15T06:25:00.000-05:00

I just weighed in at 148.8. It's not as large as loss as I've seen for the first week in past go-rounds with Weight Watchers, but I think that this is because it's a more liberal plan. It's been very easy to follow. My main change has been healthier snacking. I've been taking fruit and veggies to snack on during the day. I think the biggest thing is that it's made me once again be conscious of portion sizes. A bit of a test this weekend will be tailgating at the football game. But I barely touched all of my extra points this week, so I think I will be okay. If I can lose 1/2 pound to a pound for the next couple of weeks, then stay level through the holidays, I think that I'll be in good shape.

Happiness is..

2011-11-09T07:00:00.000-05:00

....autumn in New England. Yes, I live in New York these days, but I work in Connecticut, so I'm home in New England 5 days a week. Plus, one of my favorite things about autumn in New England is watching football - and we do that in Connecticut too! It's the colors of the leaves, the smell of the leaves, and the crispness of the air that I love. If only autumn didn't precede winter it would be darn near perfect!

Trying to lose weight, yet again

2011-11-08T06:44:00.002-05:00

The gaining part is so easy, the losing part less so. I'm sure this is not healthy for me - I lose 10-15 pounds and eventually gain it back over the next year or two. About eighteen months ago I had gotten down to a nice weight, gained a little over the summer and then come fall decided that I would enjoy the holiday season. Boy did I enjoy the holiday season! Now, I'm looking to drop that weight again. I weighed 151.2 this morning. More than I did coming back from vacation! Damn! Ideally, I would like to get down to 140. I am restarting weight watchers. I'm going to try to do it online and use this blog to keep myself accountable. I think I will also make my husband be my conscience. I'm not sure what workout strategy I'm going to use, perhaps heading back to the gym, maybe doing tapes at home. The gym can be difficult as some days I need to get home to the dog and the gym is between work and home. I would love to try out A's gym program - it has really worked for him - but it is expensive and since we need to be saving to go to Italy next year, I think I can find a cheaper solution to my workout issues. Anyway, back to being accountable, I plan to post my weight in this blog each Tuesday morning. Hopefully if I commit to that, it will force me to follow the plan and get on track. One of my motivations is the clothes that I can't wear right now because the waist bands are too tight! That is my reward - a revived wardrobe with little investment.

When Good Things Happen to Bad People

2011-11-07T14:15:00.000-05:00

There is a book titled "When Bad Things Happen to Good People" that really helped me come to terms with my miscarriages and our inability to have children. The book really helped me to see that there is no rhyme or reason to who is blessed with a series of wonderful events in their lives and who is visited with sadness and tragedy. Just like bad things happen to good people, good things happen to bad people. It can be hard to accept. You see that bitch ending up with the 4BR, 2.5 bath house, with a bonus room and 2 car garage on 2 acres. And there you sit in your 3 BR, 1 BA cape, no garage and 1/12 acre of land. The witch has 2 children and is planning a 3rd, you have trouble getting pregnant let alone staying that way. Her husband has a fabulous well-paying job, your spouse has been unemployed for 9 months. She doesn't have to work. You have taken on a second job to help make ends meet. Why is it that she gets all the good stuff and you get shat upon? First question - has she really gotten all the good stuff? Let's face it - she's a bitch. Starting right there I see that she's not a happy person. Something is making her miserable. (Fight the urge to say "GOOD!") And she has a nice house filled with things, but you have a house filled with love. And the kids - well, I've learned this from talking to friends and colleagues - it's not all sunshine and roses. And sadly, a lot of suffering that people do over issues with their kids is done in silence.
Now, of course, maybe the bitch just really does have it that good and it's just an example of how life works sometimes, how life isn't meant to be fair.
The moral of my story is - it's not worth any angst over why the bitch has what appears to be a better life than you. Looks may be deceiving. And if thing are as they appear, there's nothing to be done about it - not legally anyway - and it is in no way a negative reflection on how you live your life. And wouldn't you still rather be you anyway?
PS - If it sounds like I'm trying to convince myself - well you might be partly right.

Happiness is....

2011-11-04T10:00:00.000-04:00

....wearing hand knit socks. Okay - yes, I know it's Friday, Friday is usually picture day - but I did that already this week. So, today, I'm wearing my first pair of hand knit socks. Well - my first finished pair. The Jaywalkers I started a couple of years ago are still on the needles. This is the second time I've worn these socks and I just love them. I must knit more!! I should note that the first time I wore these was to Rhinebeck (for non-knitting readers it's a big sheep & wool festival in Rhinebeck, NY) and the socks were the only hand knit item I wore. These socks are comfy and squishy and just feel so nice on my feet. It was just a plain sock pattern, knit on #2s using Madelintosh Sock in Ink. Love them! I have decided that after my Christmas knitting is done - keeping it simple this year btw, my lunchtime knitting will be devoted to socks.

Monday pictures - why not - it snowed in October, didn't it!

2011-10-31T07:02:00.000-04:00

I know it's Friday but...

2011-10-28T07:41:00.000-04:00

Happiness is....grass growning in the front yard! Our front yard just never really came in this year. It has never been a lush, lovely font yard, bu this year, I was mainly weeds. Then we had the water leak and half the front yard became mainly dirt, with the odd weed thrown in there. So, we had it dug up, leveled and reseeded. A little watering, a little sun, a little rain and last night I came home and could see what looked like a green haze on the lawn. Little bitty blades of grass! Now if only the snow that is predicted for tomorrow doesn't scare the new grass away!

The Rhinebeck Stash

2011-10-22T09:36:00.000-04:00

Top left, some baby blue and darker blue Shepherds Wool, worsted, destined to be herringbone mittens as a gift for someone - don't know who. Top right and in the next picture down, some trio from Brooks Farm - just loved the color, don't know what it will be, but it will be for me. Bottom left is some Skinny Bugga! from the Sanguine Gryphon. I don't think the photos do the colors justice. They are a lovely combination of yellow, red & orange. I'm torn between making this into socks and making it into a shawl. I fear the socks won't do right by the lovely colors as they may not be seen. Next is some DK from Shelridge Farms which will become a sweater for our little niece. Last, some Four Play from Brooks Farm which will be a sweater for me. I'm torn between a couple of patterns, so I won't decide for a while, since I need to get going on some Christmas gift knitting.

Must say, I think this is my favorite. I have no idea what it will be yet, but it will be for me. Likely a shawl or a cowl. If I make a cowl, I'll probably have enough left for a hat too.

The photo doesn't really show the colors of this yarn at their best. I stopped at this booth, not realizing that it was the popular Sanguine Gryphon. There were many, many beautiful yarns there. I wish I had purchased more, but didn't have any real projects in mind for them, so resisted.

Why can't I see it that way?

2011-10-21T07:38:00.000-04:00

A friend commented on my post about destination weddings, trying to get me to see it in a different way. How would I look back in this time when I was 70, which, by the way is now only 20 years away! Her point is an excellent one. Would we rather look back and be so happy we spent the money on something to do with the house (she used the garage as an example) or would we rather look back and remember that wonderful wedding. My first thought? I would be looking back pissed that the garage fell down because we couldn't afford to repair it because we spent so much money on the wedding. I wish I could see it the way Brenna suggests. Am I too practical a person? I am sentimental in so many ways, but when it comes to weighing money issues, I tend to be more practical. I think the fact that it is my in-laws weighs into my issues. If it was my sister, I think I would tell her straight out that she's asking an awful lot of us and that we may not go. But this is the in-laws, and though I know that my mother-in-law isn't over the moon about the whole thing, I think part of my resentment is that I feel constrained in voicing my thoughts on the matter. No one wants to be the difficult daughter or sister-in-law. I would like to be the carefree person who can just up and go and not worry about the long term. I wish I could be the person who says "20 years from now we are not going to wax on sentimental about repairing the garage." I wish I had the kind of money that we would not only have no qualms about spending the money to go, but could extend the trip and stay a week or more! No that would be the real solution! I should go buy a lotto ticket today.

My thoughts on destination weddings

2011-10-20T06:58:00.000-04:00

If you read along, you know A & I recently went to a destination wedding. We had planned and budgeted to take a vacation this year to celebrate my 50th birthday, the idea was some all-inclusive resort in the Caribbean or Mexico. When this wedding in the Dominican Republic at an all-inclusive resort came up, it fit right into those plans and we went. Would we have gone otherwise? I don't know. It's a lot of money. We have another one coming up next year, this time in Italy. If we both go, it will cost us between $3,000 and $4,000 to go - and that's for only four days! I would say we don't have a lot of choose over whether or not to go - the groom is A's brother - but we may not be able to afford to both go. We will do our best to insure that at least A goes, but for both of us - well - that's a big nut to swallow. I think that weddings should be what the bride and groom want, but I hope they consider what all the implications are of that. I'm hoping that, in making the decision to marry in Italy, they recognize that not many people will be able to attend. I would say that it's a good bet that most of their cousins will be unable to attend and likely only one uncle. That's okay - if they understand that. As long as they don't get upset that people can't go - then that's fine, have the wedding the way you want. It's your day. I have to admit that I'm a bit resentful about this whole Italy wedding. Neither the bride nor groom are Italian born. I think it's just that it's pretty and different. For us though - to spend that much money to go means other things won't be happening. We are aggressively paying down our credit card debt and I don't want to change that. We need new windows for the house. We need to upgrade the service. We just had a water leak in the pipe in the front yard that was partially insured, but still cost us $1,200 to fix. Our garage needs to be rebuilt, we need to redo the bathroom. There are a lot of things that $3-4k could go towards. And we wouldn't even be getting a vacation out of it. That only covers arriving two days before the wedding and leaving the day after. Add several hundred dollars more - probably another grand actually - if we want to extend it. We're not talking about an all-inclusive resort here, we're talking hotel, car rental, meals - all of it. So, now the money I saved per month when I leased my new car is I guess going towards the wedding in Italy. Not the house cleaning help I wanted to hire. Not windows, not paying down debt, not the electric service upgrade. Not the new furniture we could use in the living room. (Don't by Raymour & Flanigan, it doesn't last.) And you know what else - it's not the vacation I would have chose to take if we had planned to take a big one this year. We have already decided we can't go to Vegas for a weekend with friends like we did last year. We are hoping that if a miracle happens and UCONN becomes bowl eligible, it's the Pinstripe Bowl so it will only cost us a ticket and a train ride - otherwise our streak of bowl attendance is likely done. So, going back to my previous statement - it's their day, it should be what they want, but I do wish they had considered the loved ones that will feel obligated to attend and what that will cost them. And I hope that they are understanding of the other loved ones and the friends who will be unable to afford to attend. And I hope that they get that someone who spends $3k or $4k just to be at the wedding - well their presence is the present.

Happiness is...

2011-10-19T10:34:00.000-04:00

....yummy yarn and lots of it! This past weekend was the Duchess County Sheep & Wool Festival, aka Rhinebeck. I went up on Sunday, hooked up with my friend A, her husband S, adorable daughter L and some of their friends. I had already been through several buildings and snagged some yarn when I met up with them. Then I bought some more. I could have bought even more - I really could have - but resisted. While I had projects in mind that needed yarn, I decided I really needed to knit my stash down some before I bought even more. So, I've made a semi-resolution - no new yarn until I knit at least two projects off my Rhinebeck stash. Seeing as how I haven't touched last year's stash yet, I think two is a reasonable start. Since some of the yarn I bought this year is destined for a little sweater for my niece for Christmas and some of the other stash is for mittens for me or maybe someone I like, I think I may actually be able to stick to my resolution. I may even try to post some pictures of the stash on Friday.

I am the 98%

2011-10-17T07:10:00.000-04:00

Yes, you read that right - 98%. I'm not the 1% that makes all the money and I'm not the 1% protesting that the other 1% makes all the money. I went to a small school that provided an excellent education, but didn't cost an arm & a leg. I got scholarships and student loans that I was able to pay off within a few years. I didn't go to a big name school - or even a medium name school that cost more than we could afford without burdensome loans. I got a degree in something I liked, was good at and which - shockingly apparently - prepared me to get a job. I got a degree in accounting, not history, philosophy. I have a mortgage. I have a mortgage that I can afford to pay every month. My house is under water, but I can afford my mortgage because we did the math before buying. We only bought as much as we can afford. There's no evil bank here, there are only responsible home owners in this story. I am lucky to have a good job, a stable job, as does my husband. I know some people were smart about everything, education, mortgage and got unlucky in the job area. I recognize that there are some things the protesters suffered that they couldn't control. But what are they protesting? That some people make too much money? I'm not opposed to people making a lot of money. I chose not to go into the lines of work that would have put me in the top 1%. Are some of the 1% grossly overcompensated - you bet. But you can't just protest that they are overpaid. Do they pay their fair share in taxes - everything I read says no. So protest for changes in the tax regulations. Protest for changes in the regulations which allow them to create situations like synthetic debt which helped caused the mortgage crisis and protest the lax mortgage regulations. You can't just protest that you have a lot of student loans and no job. You did that to yourself. You chose the expensive college instead of the local one - or instead of a trade school. Protest for or against something specific - not just that someone else has more than you and that's not fair. And remember this - to a certain extent, it is fair that some have more. We are not a communist society. We are a free market based society. You don't like that concept - move to Cuba.

Vacation in the Dominican Republic

2011-10-12T19:38:00.000-04:00

We came back from the DR a week ago. We had gone down there for a vacation/friend's wedding. We had talked with my cousin K, who is 4 months older than me, about he and his wife and A and I going on vacation together sometime this year to celebrate our 50th birthdays. Then A's friend P & his fiance announced their plans to get married in the DR in September. Since that fell just days after our anniversary and a month after my birthday, we decided to make that the big trip. It was so much fun! The country is beautiful. It is clearly poor, with some more well to do areas. We stayed at an all inclusive resort, in the adults only section. There were about 45 people there for the wedding - great turnout. We were among the earlier arrivals. That was determined by our using frequent flier miles to get there. We had a 6:30 am flight out of JFK. That doesn't sound too bad until you realize that you need to be there 2 hours early for an international flight. And that means leaving your home about 45 minutes before that, so getting up about 45 minutes before that!! We got up at 2:30. The limo was a little early, but we were ready. When you get to JFK at 4 am, going through security is a BREEZE! Downside - nothing, but nothing was open. As we sat in the gate area, there were other people on our flight who were chatting at a volume that was a little louder than necessary - and worse - they were speaking Spanish and too fast for me to understand, so I couldn't even eavesdrop! ( I do that at airports sometimes. :D ) So, we get to the DR, get in our shuttle, head off to the resort. Our shuttle driver likes baseball. He named all the Dominicans who play in the majors. First off - Robinson Cano - one of my favorites! The resort is lovely. We were shown an upgrade room and then our assigned room. Aside from the huge patio with bed style lounges and a second jacuzzi, the upgrade room had the distinct advantage of being on the other side of the resort from the three rather overweight men sitting at the pool bar in their speedos, one of them graciously sharing his butt crack with the world. I said Si! to the upgrade. There were several pools at the resort, two of them restricted to the adults only guests. There was also a section of the that was adults only, but topless sunbathing was everywhere. The worst was leather lady. She is seriously anorexic. You could count her ribs. Her legs were the size of my forearm and she was topless with these little prunes sticking up off her chest. Ugh. The ocean water was not as warm as I expected, but definitely better than the Cape. And it was a lovely blue. There was lots of wave activity, which was fun. But we spent more time in the pool. A decent number of the wedding guests did not do the adults only, so we spent a lot of time at that pool. Plus it had the swim up bar! We had so much fun hanging out with everyone. The wedding was a blast. It was kind of warm and we were all soaked, sweating from dancing. We went to karaoke one night, a Michael Jackson show another and to a Circ du Soleil type show another night. We met some other couples who hung out with us and even crashed the wedding, much to the delight - seriously - of the bride. We ate Japanese one night, Italian another, barbecue on the beach and the steakhouse 3 nights! The wedding dinner was surf and turf. A gave away his lobster tail because of my allergy. The friend he gave it to was beside himself with joy at a second lobster tail. There are so many stories - from Grandma, to the gay guy who is the only one who doesn't know he's gay, to the two firemen we swear never slept in their own room, to Applauso! Applauso! to the beer barge, the tramp stamp and Johnny Bravo. So much fun! It got sadder day by day as people left. We want to go again. And now, the newly married couple, the best man & his wife (who officiated at the wedding) and A& I all have anniversaries within a two week period - I see mutual anniversary trips back to the DR in our future!!

Friday Photos

2011-10-07T07:05:00.000-04:00

Some flowers, some knitting, some Boomer.

Happiness is....

2011-10-06T12:51:00.002-04:00

....sleeping in your own bed. Boomer and I both feel the same way. Our vacation in the Dominican Republic was fabulous, but it was good to be home yesterday. Will post soon on my thoughts on the DR

Happiness is....

2011-09-21T09:34:00.000-04:00

....a new cellar door. When A built the patio last summer, the old cellar door had to come off. We think it was original to the house. Because of the location and size, we had to have a door custom built. We kind of dilly dallied about doing it, then finally got on it this summer. It took a while to be built, etc. So, we went through the summer with the old door just laying on top of the opening, weighted down by some patio blocks. Until Irene was coming, then A fashioned some serious supports and a tarp so the basement wouldn't get flooded - well at least not by rain coming through the door. It came in other places. Anyway, the new door was installed yesterday. It looks so nice! It's waterproof. I'm a happy camper.

2011-09-11T07:00:00.006-04:00

10 years on, it continues to be important that we remember, that we tell the next generation what happened that day. In the years to come, we need to tell those who were not yet born then or were too young to remember that our nation was attacked, but not defeated, that good men and women were killed, innocent men and women, heroes. Even on that horrible day, when it was clear that the chance of survival was low, good men and women rushed in to save others, rushed in despite the risk to themselves, rushed in to their deaths. Strangers bonded together to survive, to help others survive. We need to tell them that it is the American nature not to give in, but rather to survive, to go on and rebuild. It's not just about reliving the horror of the day, it's remembering how we responded.
I've posted this tribute before. This tribute that was published in Pensions & Investments magazine on 10/15/2001 in an ad from Progress Investment Management Company. From the day I first read it, it has resonated with me. I have it hanging on my wall in my office, along with editorial artwork that shows the Statue of Liberty amidst the smoke, still standing tall. That's an image that will always stay with me and which I think represents that day and our country's response. They did their worst, yet she stood tall, unbowed, as did our nation.

Tribute

Some things can not be adequately expressed, yet cry desperately to be told
told to those you know and love
to those you meet in passing
told to the children of today
and to those who are yet unborn
You need to tell them what you saw that day
And make them see....
the ones who fought with hand and axe
and took the stairs by twos,
who looked into the face of death
and stayed its hand,
if only for a moment,
with a calm ferocity of spirit
the ones in uniform and those without
who vanished in the coming of a madman's dream
the fatherless...the motherless...the childless who remain to mourn them
Tell them of the great heart of a great people
And let them ask, and let them hear your answers.
To our friends and colleagues at the New York City Fire Department
To the men and women of the Police Department and emergency medical services
To all who have sacrificed and those who will.
We will tell your stories.
We will remember.

Happiness is....and looking for help from knitting friends and others

2011-09-07T07:07:00.001-04:00

....almost done with one pretty shawl, thinking about the next. And I need help picking the next one!First, the almost done one. This is wollmeise yarn - so nice, beautiful color. The pattern is Batik. It's a bottom up, so it was slow going with long rows at first, now it is flying off the needles.
Then, the skeined yarn is my next one up. It's squooshy sock yarn from fiberphile. The colorway is Sakura - it's creamy, pink, peach and tinges of beige. I want to knit a scarf that I will wear to a friend's wedding the end of the month on a beach in the Dominican Republic. So, I'm trying to find something that fits the color and fits the idea of just a light cover if needed on the beach. I'm posting a few of the top contenders. Would love to hear opinions, suggestions!

Kindergarten dreams

2011-09-06T10:18:00.000-04:00

School is starting all over the place today. I should be sending a little one off to kindergarten. How much fun it would have been buying a little backpack, school supplies, school clothes! I'll bet I would have been weepy watching my baby go off to school. But those are just dreams that will never be fulfilled now. It's easier 5 years later, but I don't know that I'll ever not think of how old our child would have been, what milestones they would have hit. I know I'm not alone in this. Every person who has miscarried, suffered a stillbirth or lost a child after birth goes through the same thing. It really does get easier with time, but the feelings of loss, the hole in your heart never completely goes away.

Friday Photos just a day late

2011-09-03T15:50:00.000-04:00

It's been a while since I posted photos, so I thought I might catch up some. We survived Irene just fine. Luckily we never lost power. We did get water in the basement, no surprise there, so I spent a fair amount of time Sunday with the wet vac. The garden survived pretty well, the dinner plate dahlia plant was the only one that really got beat up. So, here are some photos, the roses are pre-Irene, everything else is post. Note the bee in the 4th picture. I love the mums. A did that. After the driveway was done, he thought that area would make a nice little planter box - and it does. He picked out the plants and did all the work. And then, of course, there's Boomer doing what he does best, sleeping in the sun. He did very well during the first part of the hurricane, but Sunday afternoon when there was no rain but the wind was really whipping, he seemed agitated. He was like a little kid wanting to be next to me all afternoon. Until A came home of course. Then I was just that other person who hangs out at the house. :)

Happiness is surviving the East Coast Earthquake TV Coverage!

2011-08-24T09:03:00.000-04:00

hahahahaha
I felt it. No one else on my staff did. Two were at lunch, the one who was with me thought I was nuts when I said "What just happened? It felt like the building moved." So - thank you Al Gore for inventing the internet - I promptly googled earthquake and saw that there had been one in Virginia. Then I went on facebook and had my suspicions confirmed. The TV coverage was just a little bit much. I do feel for people in DC and NYC that must have thought it was another terrorist attack. It appears that no one was injured or killed and damage seems to be relatively minor, except for some damage to our national monuments. That makes me sad. And Californians can laugh all they want at the New Yorkers who evacuated their buildings - but if your city was once the target of a terrorist attack and rarely has earthquakes - what would you think was going on and what would you do? I would get the hell out of the building, that's for damn sure!
Anyway, the earthquake pre-empted my planned post that would have said "Happiness is that new car smell." I picked up my new car on Friday. I'm happy with my decision. I don't totally love the color, but I don't hate it and for the price I got I'm not being picky. One feature that I love in this car is that it has a hard drive for music. So, I put a CD in and it records the CD to the hard drive. I've been having fun picking what CDs to put on the hard drive. So far I have a little Bon Jovi, some Queen, a mix from Greys Anatomy soundtracks and some standards (think Frank Sinatra). Must add more Bon Jovi, REO, Beatles, Buffett - so so many. Tonight on the way home, I think I'll load up the soundtracks from The Concert for New York City from back in 2001.

Happiness is....

2011-08-17T08:35:00.000-04:00

....the car hunt being over and money in my pocket. I find car shopping to be very stressful. Test drives, sales pitches, negotiating. UGH. I thought I knew what I wanted this time - a Ford Edge or some other crossover. I really liked the Edge. It was not as economical as I thought it would be, but that wasn't really an issue. I was briefly swayed at the thought of a Lincoln. Went and test drove the Cadillac SRX. Didn't like the styling, didn't like the roof support that created a big blind spot, but I really liked the ride. Got a quote on a Cadillac CTS and was amazed at the price and thought - I may be getting Baby Jr. soon! (Dad had a Cadillac Sedan back in the 70s that we called Baby. We swore that if the house caught fire, he would save Baby first.) I was really determined to buy American, helping out the economy, but did want to keep my personal economy in mind. So, I got in touch with two Infiniti dealerships - the one that replaced the dealership where I got my current Infiniti and the one where the salesman I worked with 3 years ago went. Well, the first one got back to me pretty quickly and gave me an amazing price. $130 less per month than I am paying now for basically the same car. I was still willing to go with one of the others if Ithought the overall value would be better. But after reading reviews, etc - nothing could match the price or the value I was getting with the Infiniti. So, my personal economy won out. Now - what to do with that extra $130 each month? And I got a raise this month too! Some of it will definitely go into savings. I may also finally break down and get a cleaning lady to come in every week or every other week.

Friday Photos

2011-08-12T07:35:00.000-04:00

Just a quick post - finished a blanket for my new niece.

and boomer

Happiness is....

2011-08-10T11:01:00.000-04:00

....a truly local local yarn store. And I don't have it. I finished the baby blanket for our new niece on Monday. (Pictures will be coming. It's pretty and colorful.) So now, I am ready to start a new project. I want to use up some of my stash and I have this beautiful skein of Wollmeise yarn just itching to be a shawl. So, with A's help, I pick a pattern. I wind the yarn into a ball - let me tell you - 575 yards takes a while to wind. I'm ready to cast on 319 stitches - WOW! As I'm casting on with a larger size needle per the pattern, I realize that I only have one set of size 5 circular needles that are long enough for the body of the shawl. And those size 5s are currently in the middle of a top I am knitting during my lunch hours. Well, I could use some new stitch markers too, so I order another set of size 5 tips for my addi clicks. I thought about waiting until Friday to head to the nearest local yarn store that would carry the needles I like, but I figure that if I ordered them first thing in the morning from a favorite online supplier, I would probably have them by Friday anyway. And then I can spend Friday doing other things I want to do - like test drive cars. It really would be nice though to be able to just pop into a yarn store on my way home or only have to drive 10 or 15 minutes. Instead, the nearest good quality yarn store is over 30 minutes away. They are quite lovely, just wish they were closer.

I need clever quips

2011-08-04T09:56:00.000-04:00

A friend of mine is posting a countdown to my 50th birthday on my facebook wall. Every day it's "Morning :) XX and counting...have a nice day!". Today is 22 days. I have been trying to come up with clever responses. One of these days I plan to say "beats the alternative" but I've got 21 more days to quip back. I sure wish I had some comedic talent right now. One thing I will be doing soon, is starting a countdown for her, because she turns 50 less than 3 weeks after me. :) I love this woman. She's a good friend and I actually am enjoying the fact that she is enjoying the fact that I turn 50 first.

Happiness is....

2011-08-03T09:41:00.000-04:00

...a new hair style. That's what I'm going for today. The longish (chin length) look is just not doing it for me. The perm makes it harder to dry and I don't think it's really added so much body that it makes the style look good on me. I still feel it looks kind of old ladyish. So today, I'll spend some time looking at hairstyles yet again. Hopefully I can find something I like that will be attractive on me.

God's Will? or not

2011-08-02T10:09:00.000-04:00

When you are dealing with infertility, loss or any kind of disease, there will always be people who say things like "It's God's will" or "It must be God's plan for you." I suppose with some people, believing that their situation is God's will helps them cope with it. For me, the suggestion that my situation is God's will is not a helpful one. Starting on an intellectual level, I find it hard to believe that God gets that deeply into an individual's life. Yes, He is the Supreme Being and could probably map out each twist and turn in our lives, but I don't believe He does. Otherwise, it negates the concept of Him having given us free will. On a purely emotional level, I don't buy it either. If it is God's will that I remain childless when that is my heart's desire, then it must be some form of punishment. Well, why would He punish me yet grant other people their desires? I know I'm no angel, I am a sinner as are we all, but I am a good person. There are people that you can legitimately look at and say "not so good a person" yet they get their wishes. You could make the argument that they are not happy with their lives - but then I think you are stretching it. And where does God's will come in to people who abuse or worse murder their innocent children? Every day in the news you read about people abusing or killing children. Was it God's will that those children live painful lives, die painful deaths?
So what started me off on this rant today? I read someone's blog where they opined that it was selfish not to accept God's will for your life. This is the blog of a woman who experienced infertility and eventually accepted living life without children. If it helps her cope to say it was God's will, then I guess I need to respect her coping mechanism. But for me, I don't believe it was God's will. If it was God's will, then I would have to blame him. He wouldn't be the loving force I have always believed in and relied upon. For me, I believe it is just how life turns out sometimes and God's role in all of it is mourning my loss with me, being an anchor to hang onto when the pain is too much, being a light to show me that there can be happiness in my life in other ways.

Happiness is...

2011-07-28T09:14:00.001-04:00

....eating the vegetables from your own garden - or in the case of tomatoes, I think it is fruit. Last year, my attempt at tomatoes was a downright failure. This year - success! I planted them in a corner of the garden and have nursed them along. Yesterday, as a snack, I had some tomatoes in Italian salad dressing. I came home, and A had taken some more tomatoes and some of the cilantro we grew and some other ingredients and made salsa. YUM! He barbecued pork chops and topped them with the salsa. Double YUM! I have peppers growing, soon to be picked. Can't wait to see what we can do with those!

Happy Birthday Daddy

2011-07-27T11:58:00.000-04:00

My father would have been 82 today. My guess is he probably would have spent the day playing golf with my brother, my husband and my cousin before going out for a nice dinner with Mom. I always wonder what he would have been like as he aged and retired. What would he think of the things his children have done. How proud would he be of his grandchildren - I have to say I think my niece would have been his favorite. We'll never be able to know how all of our lives may have been different had he not died so young, so suddenly. Thirty years on and I still miss him. I always will.

Hairspray is your Friend...and other thoughts from vacation

2011-07-26T11:54:00.000-04:00

"Hairspray is your friend." I had a hairdresser who used to say that to me. I realized just how much of a friend it could be when I was on vacation on the Cape last week - and had forgotten my hairspray. Permed hair, a weak hairdryer and no hairspray make for some bad hair days.

I don't know how I survived childhood without air conditioning. How did anyone ever survive it. My favorite person on the Cape was the guy who fixed my mother's a/c late Friday afternoon. Boomer loved him too.

Sand stings on a windy beach.

Thundershirts work on dogs that are scared of thunder. Don't know how, but they do.

Flowers grow differently on the Cape. My mom & I both have gallardia plants, but hers grow much taller than mine. Balloon flowers too.

Hydrangeas are everywhere on the Cape.

Pedestrians can be really stupid.

We have great neighbors on the Cape.

Retread pictures

2011-07-15T14:17:00.000-04:00

I didn't take any pictures this week. I plan to take some next week - like the ones below. What do they all have in common? All take on the Cape.

Friday Photos...

2011-07-08T10:32:00.000-04:00

A study of the Stink Doggie, aka the Boom Doggie. A week ago tonight, Boomer got skunked. Such fun. The boy does not like being bathed, but we managed to get it done. He's still a little stinky though. I took these photos a couple of days after the skunking, playing with the Retro Camera app on my cell phone. The stuffed animal on the floor next to him is Charlie the Chimp, his consolation prize for having to endure two baths. This dog is spoiled!

Friday Photos

2011-07-01T09:14:00.000-04:00

The usual - flowers, knitting and Boomer. The knitting is two more squares for the blanket for our new niece. I took the flower shots this morning. Sadly, some of the shots that I thought would be really cool - like one I took of the shadow of the daisy on the fence did not come out. There was too much light. I need to learn more about how to work with different lighting.

Dog instincts

2011-06-30T09:13:00.000-04:00

Sometimes it's hard to remember that, though domesticated, a dog is an animal with basic instincts. Like - if the dog sees a bird in the garden, it is going to try to get the bird. That's how my day started. I let Boomer out to do his business. I heard him making noise and went out to check what was going on. He saw the bird in the garden and tried to get him. The poor bird appeared injured and wouldn't stand a chance. Thankfully another of his instincts - and apparently a higher one - is to do what his master tells him. So, when I pulled him back and told him to get in the house, he did it - very reluctantly, but he did it. When I left for my run, I checked the garden and didn't see the bird. I knew that the bird was going to be prey for some larger animal because it was injured, I just didn't want it to be my animal. I was glad it was gone from my yard. At least I thought it was. I came back from my run and let Boomer in the yard while I started to water flowers. I saw him near a dark blob in the yard and thought at first it was a pile of poop. I went to go pick it up. It was the bird. Boomer appears to have gotten it in some way. There are little feathers on the ground, the bird is on it's side and Boomer is drooling. Again, he did as I told him and went in the house. He kept looking back as he sadly trudged back in, but he did as I told him. I told the bird I was very sorry for what had happened - like it understood me. The poor thing crawled back into the garden. I'm so sad for that little bird. I know that's a part of nature, part of life, but it's still sad. And now I know I'll have to deal with a dead bird when I get home from work.

Happiness is....

2011-06-29T09:17:00.000-04:00

....thunderstorms at midnight. I don't wish for thunderstorms much - but I like them when they come in the middle of the night, when I'm safe and warm in bed with A next to me and Boomer in his bed nearby. I feel extra safe then and the noise is kind of beautiful. Also, those late night storms usually clear the air and you wake to a beautiful blue sky with only wispy clouds. And even more - it means I don't have to water the garden. All in all, a good thing.

2 good things yesterday

2011-06-28T09:11:00.000-04:00

1. Many times when I am feeling low, I indulge in cupcake therapy. Or small cake therapy. I go to Stop & Shop and get some of their cupcakes or one of those little 4 inch cakes they make. And then I eat. So good. It must be buttercream icing and yellow cake. My favorites. I didn't do it yesterday. I know I need to lose weight, so even though I was feeling down and really deserved a treat, I didn't indulge in cupcake therapy. I did have a glass of wine, but that wasn't as bad as the cupcakes would have been. So - YAY! for me.
2. A is going to the Cape with me! I didn't even have to talk to him about it! He sent me a text yesterday saying he was good to go. I am very, very happy about that.

Two steps forward, one step back

2011-06-27T09:25:00.000-04:00

Better than one step forward, two steps back - right? I go along, thinking I'm dealing with the whole childless thing pretty well, then WHAM. It hits me and there I am alone in the bathroom crying. My BIL and SIL had their second child yesterday. This would be the pregnancy that was announced on their blog - the blindside last Christmas. I thought I was doing well, but just seeing the pictures last night and reading the comments (love the era of smartphones and text messages) made me cry. I am happy for my BIL & SIL, but I'm sad for me. I'm sad for A. We will never have that joy. It's one of the few things in life that I've ever really, really, really wanted. And I can't have it. Yeah, I wanted a four bedroom house with an in-ground pool, a bar room and a two-car garage and I can't have that either, but it's just not the same. It's not the primal, deep in your soul longing.
And, on the heels of this, related to this is a dilemma I may soon be facing. A has mentioned wanting to go visit his brother after the baby is born. We'll deliver gifts to both kids. (Go back a couple of Fridays and see the blocks for the blanket I'm knitting the baby.) My problem with that is that A has been reluctant or can't find the time to go with me to visit my mother on the Cape. I don't think it's fair that he won't go see my family, yet I'm expected to go see his. And, quite frankly, I'm hurt by his reluctance to go the the Cape to see my mother. And while my mother will never be pushy and nag us like his mother did over having two Christmas celebrations last year, my mother does drop the occasional "Gee, I haven't seen A since..." That makes me feel like shit. I feel like I have to make excuses for him. Yeah, there was that one time we were on the Cape, when he had gotten somebody to switch tours with him and his firehouse was involved in the Deutsche Bank fire. They pulled out the two guys who were killed. It was scary and upsetting while he tried to find out if it was someone from his company that got killed. And he felt bad that he had asked someone to switch with him - but that's what they do all the time. And yes, every guy that agrees to swap takes a risk that he will be injured or killed while working the other guy's tour - but they are both taking that risk. It's not reason to avoid going to visit my mother. So, I'm going to have to deal with this. It will be uncomfortable, but right now, I think that when we next discuss him going to the Cape with me for a few days, I'm going to lay it on the line. If he doesn't go to the Cape, I'm not going to Maine. He's free to go and visit without me. My family deserves equal treatment to his.

Friday Photos

2011-06-24T06:50:00.000-04:00

The first shot is some ground cover I've had for a while. I actually took some of it last fall, after it had gone to seed and planted it in another part of the garden - and it took! Yay me! The other shots are mostly recent additions to the garden, including herb in a pot. Right above the herbs is a shot of my dinner plate dahlia. I planted that thing 3 or 4 years ago. You are supposed to pull them for the winter in our area. I can't be bothered. That plant keeps coming up year after year, warm winter or nasty one like last year. And it produces amazing blooms. And then there's Boomer - doing what he does best. Nap.

Happiness is...

2011-06-22T10:36:00.000-04:00

.....exercising in the morning. It really does start the day off right. It's worth it to get up that little extra bit early. And I have help with that, since the Boom Doggie doesn't seem to ever get the concept of sleeping in. When he's ready to get up, he expects that at least one of his peoples will get up with him. Usually that's me. So, off I went this morning at 6:20, walked to the high school track, did my mile run, did a little extra since I'm trying to build up my endurance at this speed, then walked home. Ready to move on with the rest of the day.

I think this is bigotry of a sort

2011-06-20T13:58:00.000-04:00

I heard what I think amounts to some form of bigotry on Friday. It still has me thinking, puzzled. A little background - I work for a town in Connecticut. Connecticut allows same sex marriages. There is no waiting period to get a marriage license in our town - just the time it takes to fill out the application and pay the fee. Being relatively close to one of the state lines, we tend to get a decent amount of out-of-state same sex couples seeking to marry here. So, apparently two women came in to get married on Friday. Apparently they were both attractive women. One of my employees saw them. What still has me sitting here thinking "did I really hear that" was her comments. She didn't understand it. She thought it was a shame they were lesbians, because they were attractive. She could understand it if they were ugly, but what a shame because they are pretty women. I did not know what to say back to her. I was just at a loss to understand her thought process, but she is of a different generation and culture, so maybe that's it. I don't know. I just sat there and thought "Seriously?"

Friday Photos

2011-06-17T07:02:00.000-04:00

More garden - just the hydrangeas from the front of the house, a little knitting - the first two squares from a log cabin blanket I'm making for the coming niece or nephew, and of course, Boomer.

Happiness is....

2011-06-15T09:39:00.000-04:00

....a brand new driveway! YAY! Looking back at the whole house buying thing, it's kind of funny what you don't pay a whole lot of attention to at the time. I don't think we realized just how bad the driveway was when we bought our house. That first winter, we definitely knew. Chunks of pavement would come up each time we used the snowblower. The driveway was at least 50 years old. At some point, as pavement does in the Northeast, it heaved. The heave was in the center. Some prior owner attempted to correct the situation by paving along the sides of the section that had heaved. Yeah. That was a smart move. Guess which part was destined to break up first! This winter, after I did a lot of the snowblowing, chunks were flying in to the yard, against the house, once almost taking out a window. I told A it was time. Let's get it done. I told him that I didn't care if we needed to use the money we had been saving for a trip to celebrate my 50th. The driveway needed doing. Well, we had a good tax year, some nice year end overtime and had plenty of funds. They started last Wednesday tearing it up and by the end of the day Thursday, I not only had a new driveway, but it was edged in belgian block. So lovely!! So smooth!! And the enterprising contractors picked up two other jobs in our neighborhood as a result of the work they were doing for us. Happiness all around!

Swatch it!

2011-06-13T11:45:00.000-04:00

I am planning to knit a new top. I did a gauge swatch yesterday. This is the first time I did one wear I blocked the swatch. The pattern said to do it - and after my experience of my last top growing on me, I wasn't skipping that step. Important to note that the pattern for my last top did not suggest measuring gauge after blocking. How I wish it had. I haven't done a lot of swatching, but mainly because in a lot of my projects, gauge didn't matter too much - other than for making sure you had enough yarn. That lesson was enough to make me swatch from now on - and to always order more yarn than I need. You can always make something with leftovers. So, I knit the swatch and measured pre-blocking. I upped the size of the needle partway through my swatch, just in case the recommended size was too small. I figured that was better than having to go back and do a whole new swatch. Then, I soaked it and blocked it and this morning, measured the dry swatch. I'm so glad I followed the instructions to measure after blocking. Turns out the recommended needle size will work nicely. Hopefully before too long, I'll have a nice new top to wear to dress up jeans or khakis.

what's a girl to do?

2011-06-10T14:02:00.000-04:00

You're getting ready to head out early, walk to the high school so you can run on the track. See if you can last longer than yesterday's mile. A 12 minute mile - so proud of myself. May I digress - having gotten near the end of the Couch to 5K program, I was running for 25 minutes at a time, but only at 4.5 mph. If I really want to run a 5k, I need to get my speed up. So, now that I'm used to running, I'm trying to run faster and then build up my distance. So, I'm happy with my 5 mph and plan to know work up from there. Now, back to the story. There I am, running shoes on. Vise - I mean running bra - in place. Ipod ready, sunglasses on....and there he is.....the cutest freaking dog in the world. So excited. In his mind, I'm getting ready to take him for a walk. He is just so happy. What could I do! Off came the iPod. Out came the poopy bags. Me and my puppy boy went for a walk.

Happiness is....

2011-06-08T09:17:00.000-04:00

....AIR CONDITIONING!! God Bless the inventor of the air conditioner! It was hot yesterday. It's going to be hotter today and still hotter tomorrow. I really do not know how people survived without air conditioning. I suppose you just find a way. And perhaps we are spoiled by the A/C. If we didn't have it then maybe we would just adjust? But, for me, I'm glad not to have to adjust. I'm very grateful for the A/C.

Sex and the City II

2011-06-06T10:27:00.000-04:00

I finally got around to watching Sex and the City II last night. I enjoyed the series and the first movie, but had heard enough bad reviews of the second movie to wait a while. I'm glad I did. I never liked Miranda much, nor do I care for the actress. It's partly her teeth. Yeah - shallow I know. But in this movie, she was just the worst. They all were horrible caricatures of their characters. It was just horrible. I didn't mind the story line much. It was a bit of a joke, but the characters were just worse. I am so glad I waited to see it for free on HBO, rather than paying to see it at the theater.

Weekend Photos

2011-06-05T08:45:00.001-04:00

Yes, it's time for garden shots. And Boomer lazing in the yard shots.

41 years ago today

2011-06-03T10:58:00.000-04:00

41 years ago today, I was probably sitting in my 3rd grade classroom, not knowing that the most important person in my life was entering the world. Today is A's birthday. He is just the most wonderful thing that every happened to me. I love him very much. I love his eyes, I love his hugs, I love his kisses, I love his hair, I love his butt, I love his smile. I love to hold his hand when we walk. I love to just sit in the living room together, not doing anything in particular. I love to work beside him in the yard. I love to travel with him. He's just the best. Happy Birthday honey!!

Happiness is...

2011-06-01T06:57:00.000-04:00

...flowers in bloom and a soft place to lay your head.

Back on the diet train

2011-05-31T10:35:00.000-04:00

I fell off. How badly, I don't know. I haven't looked at the scale in a while. I told A that we both need to get our acts together, set a goal to be in shape for our friend's wedding in the DR in September. That certainly is plenty of time. But I need to do something more immediate. I'm dealing with a limited wardrobe because of just 5 or so pounds. I really want to lose 10 - but even getting rid of 5 will open up my options wardrobe-wise, so I really need to get on it. I also need to get back to my C25K program. I was up to running for 25 minutes. Then my latest cold while in San Antonio set me back. I settled for walk 5, run 10, walk 5, run 10. I think that's still pretty good. My goal is to run a 5K before turning 50. I don't think that the distance will be a problem, I can get there, but I want to get faster. We'll see how it goes.

Pictures on a weekend

2011-05-29T17:56:00.000-04:00

I was playing with my filters a couple of weeks ago. So - you are being treated (or subjected) to a series of photos of the same subject - one of my azaleas - with different lenses and filters. And, as always, a shot of Boomer.

to plan or not to plan

2011-05-16T14:01:00.001-04:00

I got to thinking about planning your life when I learned that someone I knew was having her third child. It's none of my business, but I have to admit that the first thing that came to mind was "I wonder if this was a surprise or did they plan this." Followed by "if she planned this - what was she thinking?" Now - I thought that because of my knowledge of her family situation and her work situation. My primary concern was her having a 3rd child considering things that may happen with her work and, if they do happen, her family situation is not ideal for handling the circumstance. Again, none of it is really any of my business - but it got me thinking about planning your life and how much should you plan? There's a saying that goes something like "life is what happens while you're busy making plans". We really do have the capability to do family planning in ways that they didn't in years past. Of course, we don't have quite the capabilities that some people think we do! Planning when not to have a family by preventing is much easier to do than planning conception. I think that some people end up regretting having planned and waited. If you're doing that - determining when it is the right time has got to be the hardest. If you wait for it all to fall into place - well - that just might never happen. I don't think there is ever a "perfect" time. Money, siblings, work, day care, housing, cars - too many things can make it a bad time. Had my parents waited for the right time, I may not exist. They had just moved in with my father's mother. Picture this living situation - my father's sister and her husband lived in the first floor apartment with their two children. We shared the second and third floor with my grandmother. Her bedroom was on the second floor. My father converted the attic into two bedrooms - one for him and Mom and one for the three of us kids. Certainly not an ideal situation - but they decided the timing was right. Weird, I know. And for this woman - given what she does for a living, the timing may never be good for her to plan her 3rd child. If she had waited for a resolution to what she faces at work, it may have ended up being too late for her to have more children. I won't deny that it worries me what may happen to that little family, but really - you could have the perfect circumstances to expand your family and tomorrow, your spouse gets hit by a bus on the way home from work and then, not so perfect after all. So, I say just do it. Do what comes naturally and let life happen. If you want more kids, do it. If you want to take that job, go for it. Don't be stupid and overextend yourself, but if opportunity arises, think real long and hard before you pass it up waiting for the "right" time. That right time may never come.

Friday Photos

2011-05-13T18:53:00.000-04:00

Happiness is...

2011-05-11T15:41:00.000-04:00

....a white dog with brindle, green and purple patches. What? Green and purple? Yup. The green I'm assuming is from him rolling around in the grass, which he will do. But it's on the top of his head - kind of weird. The purple I'm not quite sure about. That appeared this morning. In the mornings, if it's nice out, we tend to leave the back door open and just let him wander around the back door doing whatever it is he does. This morning, he came in, sat next to me, waiting for me to finish my breakfast and get him his breakfast. As he sat there, I noticed this spot, which at first looked pinkish and I thought was his skin - fearing he had injured himself. Nope. It was a purple spot. Who knows what he was rolling in, but my puppy dog now has green and purple spots alongside his beautiful brindle patches.

If you can't say something nice....

2011-05-10T10:58:00.000-04:00

.....don't say anything at all. My mom says that all the time. I try to follow it. So today, I'm going to follow it as best I can. The man who defeated my father in his last run for First Selectman (mayor) of our town passed away this week. Had my father been a lesser man, a man without a high level of integrity, a man who didn't insist on running on his outstanding record, but instead told some sad, but unfortunate truths about his opponent, then my father would have won re-election easily. Instead, he lost by a slim margin. My father was gracious in defeat. Sadly, winners are not always gracious. Their wives even less so. If my father had won re-election, then perhaps when he died suddenly two weeks later, perhaps his opponent and his wife would not have put on a distasteful display on at my father's funeral. The town would not have suffered through two years of embarassing leadership and smudging of ethical lines. My mother would have been spared the pain caused by two people trying to justify their actions and glorify their position.

So, back to my mother's credo. I don't need to really say anything bad about him. He said it himself some years ago when accused of an ethical violation and someone suggested that he was either stupid or dishonest. His own words were "I would rather be called dishonest than stupid." Allrighty then.

Friday Photos

2011-05-06T09:28:00.000-04:00

Not my photo - but pertinent for today. Coming soon, to a patio near me....

I am excited to be getting a patio set. It's being delivered this morning. We can have guests comfortably for an outdoor meal. It will match a coffee and side table we already have, so we could set up a little seating area with some of the chairs. Now all we have to do is get an umbrella.

Happiness is....

2011-05-04T09:20:00.000-04:00

....sometimes nothing in particular. It's work going well, flowers growing, simple dinners with loved ones, a nice walk, a good run. Or, it can be realizing that your lot in life is pretty good. So - some good things from the past week, just randomly....

my boss supporting me on something important
learning how to turn a heel knitting socks
having an indoor job on a rainy day
ordering new patio furniture
cooking dinner for myself
a good workout
eating something new (tres leches cake) and liking it
playing with the dog in the yard

DEAD!

2011-05-02T06:50:00.000-04:00

I was watching TV on a non-major network. A came up and told me to switch to the news, that Bin Laden was dead. American forces had killed him. I felt like celebrating. Is that horrible? This morning, I still feel like celebrating, but it's tempered with tears for those he killed. I'll be flying my flag today.

Why I would like being a princess

2011-04-29T11:44:00.000-04:00

If you are a princess, whenever you have an occasion where you need to look good - which is always - someone comes and does your hair for you. Think about always looking as good as just after your cut and color! And you can get your makeup and nails done as well. Your clothes are always professionally tailored to fit you and your body's quirks. You have access to the latest fashions. If you want to go see a show, you can always get tickets. You don't have to cook or clean unless you want to do it. You probably don't even have to make your own bed. Wait to see the doctor? Not you. Want to go on vacation - private jet.
The downside - it's got to be kind of a boring life otherwise. Yeah, lots of perks - but your job is cutting ribbons and shaking hands? How do you keep your brain from atrophying? How do you keep smiling all the time, despite some of the idiots you are dealing with? And better not get any spinach stuck in your teeth or it's going to be all over the tabloids. God forbid you get a wedgie! Can you imagine?
But that hair styling thing - damn that would be a nice perk.

Stealing an Education

2011-04-26T10:26:00.000-04:00

I read an article in a state newspaper today about a mother who has been arrested for larceny. Her crime is stealing an education for her son. It sounds horrifying, doesn't it! But, what she did is illegal. She lives in Bridgeport, CT which is a poor city. She gave a false address so that her son could attend school in Norwalk, CT which is a richer city about 30 minutes away. (And strangely, there are a couple of richer communities in between the two cities that she could have chosen, with probably better schools, but apparently she was familiar with Norwalk.)

A bit of background - in Connecticut, there is no county government. School systems are part of the town. There are a number of regional school districts where two or more towns have chosen to combine all or some of their schools, but the majority of towns have their own school system. This can result in great disparities between the spending on education and also the quality of the education. Note that I don't think that there is a complete connection between the level of spending and the quality of education. One of the problems related to the quality of education is the population. The home life and parental involvement plays a role in the quality of the education. With that as a factor, I don't think that even money can equalize the quality of education across district lines. In Connecticut, there is a grant provided to all school districts called the Equalized Cost Sharing (ECS) grant. Theoretically it's supposed to somewhat equalize the spending on education. In reality, it doesn't. The school district in the town I work for gets a paltry amount in the ECS grant. Being a wealthy town, sometimes I wonder why we get it at all, but there are almost always some kind of "hold harmless" or "guaranteed minimums" in grants. And the reality is that if our town wants to spend more than Bridgeport on education, it's a lot easier for the taxpayers to foot the bill. So, is it fair that students in this town get more money spent on them than in Bridgeport? People move to specific towns for the quality of education. Sometimes they even move to specific areas of a town to get to a specific elementary school or high school, based on the perception of the quality of the education compared to the other options. Isn't that their right? How do you tell a parent here that they shouldn't spend as much as they want on education because Bridgeport can't spend the same. Should Bridgeport children be allowed to come to our schools? What do you tell the taxpayer here then, who is paying a big nut for his house and his taxes and does so to provide his child a better education? But shouldn't all children have the same opportunities? It really is a difficult issue. I have no answers for it, only questions.
Back to the mother who got arrested. I think arresting her was extreme, but I don't know all the circumstances. Usually they just kick the kid out of school. Maybe the fraud in that district is such that they felt they needed to really lower the boom on people. I don't know. I do know that she committed a crime and I understand why she did it, but that doesn't make it right.

A book review of sorts - "Those Who Save Us"

2011-04-25T14:11:00.000-04:00

I read this book while returning from Las Vegas. It's one that was hard to put down. It's the kind that when you are reading it, and someone wants to talk to you, it's really hard to fight the urge to say "leave me alone I'm reading" even if that person is the one you love most in the world. It's that good. The book is primarily about two women - a mother and daughter. The mother is a German women and she gave birth to the daughter during WWII. The book goes back and forth between what was going on with the mother during WWII and the daughter's life in the late 1990s. You understand the mother more and more as you learn about her life. And when it moves back to the daughter in the 1990s, you want her to learn about the mother's life. You keep waiting for her to learn things. And she does. And all is good, but not all is neatly wrapped up. That, I found disappointing. At the end, I still had some questions about things that happened after the mother married and moved with her daughter to the US. I wanted to ask some Was this ever resolved... and Did she ever do this...? I don't want to give anything away, so go read it. It really is good. I just wanted things wrapped up a little neater at the end. And maybe the fact that they aren't is part of what made it a good book - still left some for the imagination maybe?

Friday Photos on Saturday

2011-04-23T08:58:00.000-04:00

Boomer standing watch over the backyard, some flowers, more Boomer and a market bag I knit.

I forgot the best part!

2011-04-20T14:11:00.000-04:00

I have been cleared of being a terrorist! Happened on the way to Vegas. Yup. I got picked at random going through security to have my hands tested. Apparently at my airport, on that day anyway, the person picked in the 8 am hour gets his/her hands tested. Mine came up positive. The TSA agent at first blamed glycerin in hand cream. Boy was he wrong. The second test said it was dynamite. Dynamite. Do you believe that? I tested positive for dynamite on my hands. So next, they test my purse and carry-on bag. Purse is cleared. The bag tests positive. Oh shit! What now. A is sitting nearby laughing. I think he's texting people too - telling them what's going on - enjoying it really. I'm not worried as I know I'm not a terrorist, but wondering why the heck I'm testing positive for dynamite. BTW - at this point, A does not know what is going on, only that I'm getting tested. So, now they put me behind the black curtain! I've got to be patted down. The female agent puts on gloves, tests the gloves to be sure they have nothing on them before the pat down. As a quick aside - I sure wish I had the contract to provide the TSA with gloves because they sure go through a lot of them. I think at least 4 pair were used in my search. So anyway, she does the pat down, then tests the gloves again and this time I came up clean. I'm cleared and can go get on the plane. A and I go into the waiting area now and sit. I tell him that I tested positive for dynamite and express my amazement at how that happened. Turns out - it's all his fault. He has been sent off to various schools by the FDNY as part of his training. There was Live Agent School and Radiation School and yes - you guessed it - Bomb School. When he left that school to come home, he had been warned to carefully clean whatever he was wearing and carrying on to the plane. We think that some residue got on his duffel bag which was checked luggage and at home had been sitting near my carry-on bag that morning. I had moved it aside, likely then getting the traces of dynamite on my hands and into the bag. Can you freakin' believe it!

Viva Las Vegas

2011-04-19T13:16:00.000-04:00

The saying is "what happens in Vegas, stays in Vegas" right? After what I saw this weekend, I can understand why some people would feel that way. Then there's the saying "it takes all kinds" well, in Vegas, I think I saw all kinds! What a place! There were the theme hotel/casinos - like Caesar's Palace - and then ones that looked normal. For theme appearance - New York New York had to be the best! Paris was cool, but still - NY NY! Then - there are the others like Excalibur, which looked like a Jersey Shore version of Disneyland. We stayed at the Mirage - lovely. I would like to try Mandalay Bay just for it's pool! And the Bellagio - OMG. The fountains were fabulous. Then there's the flower room in the atrium. I wish I had taken some pictures of it. I think one of the things that fascinated me the most was the girls that looked to be in their early 20s in the sky high heels and the dresses that just barely covered their butts. I'm not making that up. I would look at them and wonder - what do they do if they need to sit down? Maybe they use double sided tape or something. Anyway, we saw 3 shows while there. 2 were Cirque du Soleil - an Elvis one and a Beatles one. Both fabulous in their own way. We also saw Ray Romano. Hilarious! Eye watering laughter. Snorting even. And we gambled. I won! I learned how to play craps and won some money. One thing that was hard to get used to was the smoke - everywhere and anywhere. Some places worse than others. It really is like an oasis in the desert. Leaving and going back to the airport - you leave the strip - and it's a different world. And not so pretty. But boy - that strip! Wow!

A little frustration with my scale

2011-04-14T06:57:00.000-04:00

It's not moving. If anything, it's been looking up a little. I don't get it. I'm doing cardio, watching what I eat. Maybe not getting enough water? Maybe a little too much salt? I really wanted to be down another pound before going to Vegas, but that doesn't look like it's happening. I think I'll have to watch it a bit while I'm out there - not indulge as much as I would have liked. Then come home and get right back on the wagon.

Happiness is....

2011-04-13T09:20:00.000-04:00

....another budget done. All that's left for me now is the printing. Yay!
Other happy notes - daffodils, hyacinths and forsythia all in bloom. Soon it will be tulips.

Recommendations Please!

2011-04-12T10:38:00.000-04:00

A & I are taking a mini-vacation. I have a few books on my Kindle for airplane and poolside reading, but could always use a couple more. So, I'm looking for recommendations! I tend towards a couple of specific types. For non-fiction historical books - I like the Revolutionary War period and WWII. I haven't read much about the Civil War period, but I am open to it. For fiction - I like mysteries, medical or legal. Those are my tendencies, but I am open to breaking out of my ruts. I've read a few books - "Orange is the New Black" and "The Help" among them - based on the recommendations of others and enjoyed them. So feel free to expand my boundaries.

Dipping a toe into handknit socks

2011-04-11T09:47:00.000-04:00

I took a class on Saturday to learn how to knit socks on two circular needles. I think I'm going to really like this. I wanted to learn how to knit socks because there are so many pretty patterns and pretty sock yarns out there. I had started a sock previously, but it was really slow going - probably because I hadn't found the right method for me. I was using the magic loop method, then tried using a 9" circular. Neither one really got me in a groove. I think I found the groove with two circulars. And the technique will translate to other small diameter circular knitting projects - like sleeves, mittens or the last few rounds of hats. In other knitting news, the lace capelet is done, ends woven in. Now it just needs a little blocking and it will be ready to go. I plan to steam block it, so I may get to that tonight. I'm almost done with my market bag, now just waiting for goat day to start up for the season and I'll be off to the farmers' market with my own bag. I could see me making some more of these out of cotton scraps for myself or in pretty colors as gifts.

or not

2011-04-08T14:43:00.000-04:00

So the boss's wife brought their 2 month old baby in today. He's very cute. As we stood around and talked, one of my co-workers said "Oh K, to remember those days" referring to having an infant. I said "I would have liked to have had those days." What The Fuck! She knows damn well that it's not just that I don't have kids, but that I couldn't have kids. WTF! It hasn't put me in as big a hole as I was yesterday - but still. What The Fuck! I thank those of you who sent me virtual hugs yesterday. I'm looking forward to the real live hugs I will get from A tonight when he gets home from work. They are great medicine for my wounded soul.

It's starting out a better day today...

2011-04-08T10:09:00.000-04:00

What did I wake to this morning? A furry face with a wet nose staring at me. Then a doggie kiss saying "must do business Mom". The cuteness just melts my heart. Then, I get dressed for work and put on some khakis I haven't worn in a while and there's money in my pocket. $3.10. Definitely shaping up to be a better day than yesterday.

It's going to be one of those days

2011-04-07T09:59:00.000-04:00

So today started learning about PETA's dumbass contest. Now, the former chairman of the board I work with just stopped in my office. I haven't seen him in a while. So what does he say "Any kids yet?" The tears came right up. I told him "I can't." I wasn't going into details. I am proud of myself for being blunt. He of course suggested adoption. I again was blunt "We can't afford adoption." He then told me that his second child is adopted and noted that it was expensive and an ordeal. I think I'm doing well, that the pain is blunted, not so close to the surface, but then - today happens and right now - I'm fighting to keep my office door open, to not break down in tears at my desk. Please let something good happen today.

Dear PETA, Infertility is not a joke

2011-04-07T09:21:00.000-04:00

Check out this link.
http://www.peta.org/features/win-a-vasectomy-from-peta.aspx

In "honor" of National Infertility Awareness Week, PETA is having a contest to win a vasectomy. I'm so disgusted, I have no words.

Happiness is...

2011-04-06T13:28:00.000-04:00

...like you have to ask? Did you not read yesterday's post? U!C!O!N!N! UCONN! UCONN! UCONN! NCAA Men's Champions! WOOFREAKINHOO!! Back before the season started, I was just hoping they would make the NCAAs. And they WON IT! What a run! What a fabulous run! And how do you not just love Kemba Walker. Beautiful player. Graduating in 3 years. Hard worker. Leader. Awesome.

A Thing of Beauty?

2011-04-05T07:00:00.000-04:00

No, it wasn't - but that doesn't matter - UCONN is the NCAA Men's Champion! The first half was one of the ugliest halves of basketball I've seen. In the 2nd half, UCONN turned it on. Butler didn't. It's a shame that a team as good as Butler went out that way. I think that UCONN just didn't want to lose. They may not have been the best team over the season, but come tournament time, they just weren't willing to lose. And now - 3rd time as NCAA champs. UCONN! UCONN! UCONN!

Photos!

2011-04-03T14:46:00.000-04:00

Got the new PC - so I'm loading up some photos. These are just some knitting projects.

And Boomer.

No Photo Friday....again

2011-04-01T10:45:00.000-04:00

This time the problem is that I have no computer to upload them! I bit the bullet and finally bought a new computer recently. It arrived at my local Staples on Sunday. So, I bought the old one in for them to transfer the files. It's still there. First they had trouble, couldn't get my old one to work with their display, so I had to bring down the funky display cord connector from my old PC. That was Tuesday evening. And so I sit. And so I wait. I could use A's laptop, but honestly, just too much of a pain to set it up, etc. I'm hoping it will be ready today.
My big dilemma for today (note I am using the apparently correct 2m spelling of that word instead of dilemna) is do I go to the gym after work. I'm going to a jewelry party tonight at a neighbor's. I will have time to come home, eat and shower after running - so that's not an issue. The thing is - I kind of like what I'm wearing right now. If I change into workout clothes, I'm worried about getting makeup on the neck of the lovely cream colored turtleneck I am wearing, which would mean no wearing it to the jewelry party tonight. It's not as if I don't have other wardrobe options for the evening - but I just saw myself in the bathroom mirror and think - I'm looking pretty good. So - will I go to the gym tomorrow if I don't go tonight? Or at least go for a run in the neighborhood? And if my computer is ready - I don't think I have time to go to the gym, pick up the PC, eat, shower, etc before the party. Oh - the decisions of a Friday! :)