A scene to make me cry

We went to a wedding yesterday. A's cousin got married and A was the best man. When it came time for the wedding party to dance, the Matron of Honor was holding her 3 year old son, the ring bearer. He did not want to go to his father, she and A danced while she held her son. They made such a beautiful picture, the 3 of them. A was chatting with the little boy. I just wanted to cry. That's the picture I wanted - but with me holding the baby. Looking at them, I thought - have I deprived A of that possibility in his life? That's kind of silly since he always professed not to want kids, but I still thought it. He would make such a wonderful father though. It is still a possibility if we can get the money to adopt. But - I've had concerns lately about that. I don't know if I'm past the point where I can be unselfish enough to be a parent. Would I have the energy to be a parent? Do I want to be 65 and have a child still in college? I feel so cheated sometimes - that A and I did not meet earlier. I see people who have kids who abuse them or kill them and wonder why people like A & I can not have them. I know - nobody ever said life was fair - but last night - looking at the 3 of them dancing - I just could have cried at the unfairness of it all

Boomer Cuteness

I swear my dog sleeps like a human. He likes to be covered with a blanket to stay warm and will even snuggle his little head under it. He loves to go outside. He can be a total nudge if it's nice out. He'll whine to go out and sit in the sun or sit on the porch. He likes to bring toys to bed with him. One of the funniest things for me - sounds mean - is watching how him get all scrunched over to poop. And the look on his face says "Mom - don't be watching me, this is private." I can't help but giggle at him. The boy does love his walks. It's so funny how freakin' excited he gets. I'm taking him for some good long ones in the evening. You would think it would tire him out - but no - about an hour after dinner, he's ready to toss a ball or some other toy in the house. He's just sweet - I love that little boy.

Legalized Theft

I'm just a tad pissed right now. We have an employee who has been out on non-work related sick leave for over a month. His "doctor's note" ran out last Tuesday. We just got the new note. The doctor originally said he could come back to work on the 30th of this month. Then crossed it out and put 7/7/08. Uh - do you think said employee said to doctor "oh I need another week" or "can't you get me through the holiday?" See - we know that this employee plans to move to North Carolina. His wife is already there. She has a job down there. He's looking for one. Up until this issue which required surgery, he was conveniently out sick virtually every Friday and Monday. Uhhh....ya' think he was taking long weekends with the wife in North Carolina looking for a job? And what does his boss say when confronted? "He's leaving anyway, what's the big deal." So - when he takes one of the trucks with him - are we going to say "he's leaving anyway..." It's basically the same thing - theft.

Drive by post...

Do people - woman particularly - not look in the mirror before they leave the house? Seriously! If you have to tuck your bikini bottom under your gut, maybe you shouldn't be wearing one? If your skirt has a slit in it, your slip should too. (I suppose we should be grateful that some do wear slips.) Honey - if your bending over, butt cracks are bad enough, but when half your ass is hanging out, somethings wrong. Am I the only one who doesn't think you should wear a bra with seams or lacy do-dads under skin tight tops? And one of my favorites - please - do not wear stockings with open toed shoes. Of course - now after my little rant - watch - I'll be the one to end up as a Glamour Don't! :)

Miss me?

Yeah - I haven't posted in a while. Couldn't think of things to write, didn't have time, etc.

Now - I'm back at it. We just came back from a week in Florida for my conference - for the group where I didn't get the presidency. We had a very good time. Loved the beach! One of the best things to come out of it for me was the number of people who told me that I should try again for the presidency next year. So - we'll see how I feel in 6 months when I would have to apply.

We missed Boomer while away. He was happily residing at the doggie daycare place. We arranged for him to have some lessons while gone. I am so happy to report that our dogger did quite well! He went shopping with the trainer one day, to a nearby florist. He did his "down stay" very well and is welcome back in the florist anytime. And better than that - the next day - she used Boomer to help teach another dog how to do "let's walk"!!!! She said "I want to take him home." I said NO NO NO. MINE! Of course, he was just exhausted after a week of so much play time that he slept like a log.

We got an earful of an ugly New Yorker on the way home. His flight got cancelled and he was just awful. We flew Jet Blue - and let me tell you it's worth the extra $10 or $20 to get the seats with more legroom.

I'm back at work now, trying to get back in the swing of things. I'm tired. Being at the conference, I didn't really have a weekend. We were in meetings all day Saturday. I had Sunday morning off, but then attended a working lunch and sessions in the afternoon. We also had dinners and/or receptions to attend every evening. I am looking forward to just chilling out this weekend.

Thoughts on weight loss

I'm losing weight again. For the umpteenth time. Well - okay - not umpteenth. Let's see - when I got my first job. When I worked at Town 1. When I worked at Town 2 the first time. When I worked at Town 3. When I worked for MSDW. When I got married. When I put on the "trying to have a baby" weight. And now. Hopefully this is the last time. Yeah. Sure. But - I'm going to try to make it the last time.

I remember in 8th grade, the school nurse pointing out that I had gained 10 lbs over the year. Was that just puberty or the start of problems? From that point on, I was always a bit overweight, but never grossly so.
It used to be easier - back when I was in my 20s.
I remember when hitting 130 was horrible (that's after the 1st major weight loss.)
Then - I remember when hitting 140 was a signal to diet. In all seriousness, I should not be in the 120 range. Mid 130s is a good weight for me.
How did I get here? I would usually maintain my weight loss for a couple of years, then something would trigger sliding - as you can tell by the list above, it was usually a major life change, like changing jobs. This last time I hit 150 when I was trying to have a baby, and then lost the baby and ate for comfort.
It's kind of funny - right now - I'm feeling good and thinking how slim I am. I can feel my hipbones, etc. Then I think - hey! You weighed 7 pounds less when you got married! (mid 130s, ideal weight) Then I also think - hey! 10 years ago, when you went to Europe, you weight 10 pounds less! But I do feel good right now. I will feel better with a few pounds more. I'm going to try to think realistically that if I can keep it to 140, at my age, I'll be doing well. Keeping active is key. It's not just the weight loss that has me feeling good - it's the activity level.
Of course- I'm kind of in a nowhere land when it comes to wardrobe. I'm not thin enough to fit into my "skinny" clothes - but I'm too thin for the fat stuff. And this is with only a 10 pound weight loss! I don't want to buy lots of new stuff. I'm afraid to have too much fat stuff altered down. What to do! Buying new usually wins :) Because I deserve it!