Okay, but I think I need a new scale

Down about 1/2 pound.  I'm happy with that.  My scale was doing its weird thing again - bouncing between numbers.  So to be honest, my scale gave me readings of everything between down .6, .4, .2 and 0 pounds.  Time to get a new one.  I did mostly well with points this week, cheated a little on Saturday, cheated a bit more on Sunday, but since Sunday was a tough anniversary for me, I am not beating myself up over it.  I did get some exercise in this week, but not a whole lot.  One big challenge this week - I have a meeting of my professional association on Thursday.  The challenges there will be avoiding dessert at lunch, avoiding cookies at the break and cocktail hour.  Oh - and the Super Bowl!  Ha!  Actually, since I think I'll be watching it here at home, not at any party, I should be good.  It's really hard to work in exercise with all the meetings I have these days.  The primary option would be to do it first thing in the morning.  I woke up this morning feeling like I had been hit by a truck.  That's a bit of the effect of the evening meetings.  So, I'll take the minor loss (at least what appears to be a minor loss) and be happy.

ETA - Wednesday morning, I got on the scale again, just to see what it would say - would it validate the loss?  Indeed it did.  It showed me down another pound.  So, I didn't lose that pound overnight, my guess is more that I was retaining water Tuesday morning - maybe salted my steak too much Monday night.  Whatever, I'm on the right track.

Sometimes...

...the only to keep going is to do - do anything, fill the time, occupy your mind - anything that keeps you from thinking, from remembering, from the sadness.  Time does heal.  The sadness isn't as oppressive, but still, it creeps in on certain days.  Trying not to wallow, trying not to give the sadness room to come in, keep the spaces filled with activity, so the sadness won't.

OMG Pictures!

I didn't realize how long it had been since I posted pictures.  So, without further ado, some pictures.

 A sweater for our niece.

 Socks for A to wear under his dry suit when diving - pictured unblocked.  These are nice, cushy, 100% superwash wool socks.  Madelinetosh chunky for the knitters among us - so you know how much I love that man.

 Boomer pawprints in the snow.

 Boomer showing no shame whatsoever.

A picture taken from the balcony of our room in the Dominican Republic.  So pretty.  I want to go back!

Dear Chris Christie, Get Over It!

Yes, the New York Giants play in East Rutherford, NJ.  But they are still the New York Giants - or the New York Football Giants if you are old school.  Dallas plays in Arlington, Buffalo plays in Orchard Park, Phoenix plays in Glendale and Washington plays in Landover.  So what the stadium is not in New York City, they are still the New York Giants.  Get over it already.  New Jersey is not and never will be New York.  Stop trying to be what you are not.  I'm sure New Jersey has some very fine qualities.  (Please note that that is said with only a tad of sarcasm.)  You need to promote New Jersey's fine qualities and stop trying to compete with New York.  It just isn't happening.  If you keep trying to be New York, you will remain the tacky wannabe.  If you highlight the finer qualities of your state, maybe you can stand on your own as something good.  But give it up with the Giants already.  And while I'm at it - you go Governor Cuomo - you tell him "He should read the helmets,” Cuomo said. “New York Giants.”

He had a good run

I went to a funeral yesterday.  It was for my uncle.  He was 102, almost 103 when he died.  His body had failed him in recent years, but his mind was sharp.  He was a good man, kind and gentle.  He was a trailblazer in our family - a Protestant of English heritage marrying into an Irish Roman Catholic family.  My aunt, his wife was my grandmother's sister and the sister most like my grandmother making her especially beloved to us.  She always catered to him.  But then, she was diagnosed with Alzheimer's.  She couldn't do what she once did.  And then, he catered to her.  He truly lived the vows of "for better or worse, in sickness and in health".  Imagine at 102, all the things that happened in his lifetime - inventions, world history.  A couple of relatives spoke at his funeral, telling the lessons they had learned from him about how to live a good, long life.  From the funny - eat ice cream every day - to the practical - stay physically active - to the spiritual - love your family - they were good lessons.  It was sad to say goodbye to Uncle M yesterday, but he had a good long run and we were blessed that he was part of the family.  Godspeed Uncle M.

Moving in the right direction again

Down 2.2 pounds this week!  How?  I stuck to my points.  I tracked most days.  I have no challenges that I am aware of for next week, except that fitting any exercise in will be hard, but I need to try.  My goal is going to be to lose 10 pounds by the end of March.  I think it's a really realistic goal.  I had thought about a goal of 10 pounds in 8 weeks.  That would require 1.25 lbs lost each week.  That could be hard and I don't want to get myself discouraged.  I also didn't want to make it too easy a goal - like 10 pounds by summer.  That would lead to my being lax.  So, 10 pounds, 10 weeks means 1 pound a week.  Not the easiest thing always, but definitely can be done.  I'm off to a good start.  Now, I just have to stick with it.  If I can get down 5 by Valentines Day, I plan to treat myself to some chocolate - good chocolate!

SUPER BOWL BOUND!!

Ding dong the bitch is gone

Actually, multiple bitches are gone.  I did a little facebook purge this week.  I had been meaning to do it for since the start of the year and kept forgetting.  There were some people that I had blocked from seeing my posts for some time and now I have deleted them as friends completely.  I feel a bit of a release there!  These were people who were not positive influences in my life, but I left them on as friends rather than deal with the possible negative consequences of the "unfriend" action.  But now, I felt ready to do a little housecleaning.  So, dear bitch you are no longer in my world and dear not-so-much-a-bitch-but-self-centered-and-holier-than-thou-woman, you're gone too.
And, another bitch is one step more removed from my life.  My brother is divorced.  Yay.  Double Yay actually.  The double yay is because when it was final yesterday, my brother called the house to tell us.  A answered the phone and talked to him, not me.  My brother and my husband are developing a relationship and that just makes me so happy, so double yay!

UGH

I could have avoided this post.  But, I need to be accountable.  Not that it is helping me any.  I gained this week.  More than I'm happy with.  I did it to myself.  I was pretty good going into the evening that I knew would be a challenge.  I think I could have survived the effect of that night.  But then I ate more - way more - than I should have for lunch on Sunday.  Then went to my brother's girlfriend's house to watch the Giants game, so faced an unplanned challenge and FAILED.  Then had more than I should have for lunch yesterday.  And limited exercise.  So, where to go from here.  Right now, I'm debating between giving myself two weeks to get myself going with doing weight watchers on my own and going back to Medifast.  At the party on Saturday, I found out that two of the other wives are doing Medifast.  One is even becoming a Medifast coach.  It worked for me before, but I have to commit to it.  I tried to do it once without really committing to it and that just doesn't work.  I would also have to be honest about which of their foods work for me and which don't.  It might limit my choices, but maybe that's okay, if it gets me to lose weight. 
I read something on the WW site today that my help.  I need to set myself a concrete goal.  So, I'm going to think about that.  I have the goal of the weight I want to get to, but I need to give myself a timetable.  To say "I need to lose 10 pounds" without giving myself a deadline seems to be leading to my being a little lax about doing what I need to do.  I've been trying to set myself weekly goals, but that's not enough obviously.  So, I'm going to think about a realistic goal - and rewards - and also an exercise program I can commit to.

If you can't say something nice...part two

A grammar school classmate of mine posted recently on facebook that another classmate had passed away recently.  There were the expected "oh how sad" comments.  There were the "he was such a good guy" comments.  None were from me.  My memories of him were all of how mean he was to me in grammar school.  I was surprised to hear how he had such a good heart and was such a nice guy now, as my brother had told me otherwise.  Basically, he was still mean and, sadly, his meanness was still directed at the same age group.  It's not my place to say anything.  The man is dead.  And perhaps, in recent years, he had reformed.  For his sake, for his soul's sake, I hope so.

A diet post and a knitting post

So, I lost about half a pound.  All things considered, not so bad.  I was only semi-good in dealing with the challenges faced in my business trip.  I did get in some exercise this week, and I was very good with the points leading up to the trip, so I think those factors balanced out the bad.  And then yesterday on the trip home, as I'm snacking on combos I realized that they had salt on them.  I realized I was once again, the night before weighing, semi-sabotaging myself by eating something that would lead to water retention.  I will have two challenges this week - lunch with colleagues today is the first.  That is manageable in two ways.  First, I can choose a healthy entree, second I can adjust what I might normally have for dinner to something that is lower points.  My second challenge this week will be a birthday party for friends.  There I will have to try to manage the quantity that I eat.  I also hope to get some more exercise in this week.

Now for knitting - eight hours on a train is good for knitting!  That was two four hour trips.  A's second sock is almost done.  I probably would have gotten more knitting done, but I hadn't downloaded enough videos to watch on the trip, so at a certain point, I switched to playing games and reading to pass the time.  (I like to have some other distraction while I'm knitting.)  I am almost done with a little sweater for my niece, knit with some of my Rhinebeck stash.  Next I'll be starting on a baby blanket for friends.  The pattern I'm using is one I've been itching to try.  I think it is lovely and classy and a tad Irish.  After that, I'll be digging into knitting an afghan for my future sister-in-law.  I thought I had settled on a pattern, but now I think that it would be too much of a time commitment and I'm honestly not sure that she would appreciate the difficulty involved in it.  Plus, as I'm getting to know her better, I think her style is a little less busy than that pattern.  So I'm looking at patterns with cables, but not too busy.  I may even try to put one of my own together.  My goal is to find something that can be completed in a couple of months.

Is it Friday yet?

Yes!  This work week has not been as long as last week - even though it actually is by about 90 minutes.  Last week dragged so bad - I think it was the holiday hangover.  The week before Christmas seemed to fly.  Work is really busy - budgets due, etc.  I had planned a year end recap post.  I had planned a Christmas review.  I had planned a Wednesday happiness post.  Didn't happen - any of them.  I might still try to do a post on how last year went for me.  As for Christmas, aside from dinner on Christmas Eve being just a tad late for my taste, it was all good.  Is it awful of me to say that I was happy with my presents?  You know - sometimes you get that present that just makes you say "huh?"  Especially the ones where the giver says "I saw this and just thought of you."  And you are sitting htere thinking "Seriously?"  but saying "oh how lovely!"  I'm sure I've given my fair share of them.  None of those this year.  Of course - the soon to be ex-SIL is not in the picture and she was always a good one for those.  I didn't see any of my family this year for Christmas - the first time ever - so that was kind of sad.  And A had to work Christmas Day and night, but we got to spend plenty of time together, so no sadness there.
January is not my favorite month.  It's cold.  Work is really busy.  And there are sad memories.
But life goes on.  I can wallow in self-pity or look for the good in my world and that's what I choose to do. 

New Year, New Start

I'm talking about my weight loss plan.  All in all, I wasn't as bad as I was last year at this time.  I gained over the last two weeks.  That was not unexpected.  I tried to really stick to my points on the non-holiday days, but was a little loose on the actual holidays.  The bigger problem though was the availability of bad things to eat and my lack of willpower.  Like the remains of the rum cake that I made for Christmas - I couldn't not eat it.  Well - I could have thrown out the remains.  I should have done that, but I didn't.  So, willpower is something I really need to work on, and when it's not there, get rid of the tempting item.  I also am hoping to get some activity in going forward.  It's not going to be easy, with my work schedule ramping up.  I think I should be able to get some in a couple of times a week.  That's what I'm shooting for right now, not a daily thing as I don't think that's realistic.  I won't be able to weigh in again next Tuesday, so I'll push it back until Wednesday.  My challenge this week will be a business trip.  I need to not fall prey to the habit of snacking while on the train ride.  I'll be having dinner with colleagues, so I need to keep my portion sizes reasonable.  I also need to find something to focus on as my goal - maybe a picture of a thinner me that I keep visible to remind me of where I want to get.  Or take a pair of pants that are too tight right now and hang them where I can see them.  Or both.