March 6, 2006

I'm trying very hard to work on the whole swearing thing. Today, as I was leaving the RE's office - which does not put me in a good frame of mind - I had an encounter that might normally let some of my road rage slip and the swearing come out. But - it didn't! Small victory for the day. This goober was coming up in the right lane, going really fast (mind you I'm a speed demon) and clearly he wanted to get around me. Eventually, it suited my purposes to let him go by. Well - get this - Bubba (as I affectionately named him rather than MotherF***r) was driving a light blue Subaru Impreza (very manly) with a spoiler and big tailpipe. Okay - if you want to have a hotrod looking car - a Subaru Impreza? Light blue? Oh boy - what a goober. I'll bet he picks up lots of chicks in that!
I think I'm making some progress on the issue of getting my body back into shape. I did 20 minutes of cardio Saturday night - half of it was really tough stuff. Sunday, I did 10 minutes of cardio and another 40 of pilates. That made me feel really good. I wasn't great with the snacking - but improved. So far today, I have resisted snacking (other than popcorn which is part of my plan) and it wasn't hard. It hasn't felt like denial. Let's hope this continues!
So - another blood draw today. I'm hoping that this was the last one. I'm just waiting for the phone call. I think that when I am done with the RE, it will really help me put this behind me. I know that there will be moments of sadness and tears - like I had this weekend - but I will feel like I've really turned a corner. I kind of feel right now like I'm approaching the end of the street, ready to turn the corner into the sunshine - but I'm not there yet. It's hard seeing little babies on TV - knowing that I'm not going to have that ever. Going back to church was hard. I know God didn't cause this - but I'm still not over my anger there.
My honey is home sick today - horrible way to start his vacation. I feel so bad when he's sick and I can't do anything for him. Hopefully the doctor will be able to put him on the road to recovery soon!