Friday Photos

Happiness is....

...Bon Jovi concert tonight! WOOHOO!

Small dogs

So - you own a small dog. You think it's cute when he growls and snarls at a big dog. It's not. You say stupid things like "oh he doesn't know his own size". Well guess what - neither does my big dog. And when your yappy little jack russell starts advancing on my dog, snarling and growling at him, what do you think my dog is going to do? My dog doesn't see some freakin' pipsqueak, he sees another dog challenging him. So he responds in kind. Thanks a lot. Thanks a whole freakin' lot. But, lucky for you, my dog is well trained. I keep him under control. That way, your untrained little yapper doesn't get eaten for lunch. Because guess what - my dog is bigger. Your dog may not know it, my dog may not know it - but that's the reality of the situation. Seriously, dog owners big and small ought to be required to train their dog properly.

Happiness is....

....getting back in shape. Okay - the diet is not so much fun, but it's working, so it's worth it. I'm also walking more and that's always good for me, mentally and physically. I'm feeling good. And my clapotis wrap is almost finished. I just love the color of the yarn and how it feels. I may have to find other things to make with it - Malabrigo Silky Merino. Yummy. I'm knitting with another yummy yarn - Madelintosh DK. I'm trying to think what I could make with it for me! It's a little pricey so enough yarn for an adult sized garment may be more than I want to spend, but it feels so good it's very tempting.

Trying Friday Photos again

This wouldn't work for some reason on Friday - so we're a couple of days late.

Happiness is...

...beautiful weather, getting healthy, taking walks, a clean house (thanks to my hubby). Life is good. I'm struggling a little with motivation at work. The budget is done - so it's like "now what" and I'm not focusing too well all the time. It may be spring fever too!

I think I'll be moving my veggie seedlings to the garden this weekend. I may have to create a new garden space for some. One area I thought I would take over had a rose bush that I though was a goner. Then as I was weeding Sunday, I saw a little sprout. It's alive! That bush has survived weed killer, a fence being put in, being moved and it's still going - so that space can't be had. I've got a lot of peonies ready to pop soon. I hope they don't bloom while I'm away. But I had best head to Home Depot and get some rings to keep the plants up - those blooms get heavy.

Lowering my expectations

Sometimes you just have to lower your expectations or you'll be in for a boatload of disappointment. I feel like I have to do that with my husband. He doesn't do much to help around the house unless I nag him. Then he'll go like gangbusters for a day, cleaning, organizing, etc. Then he'll fall back into his normal routine. I hate, truly hate, that I am responsible for so much at home. He mowed the yard like 95% of the time last year - but that is dependent on the weather and his schedule. Some years I've done it almost as much as him. After that, there are no chores where he is the primary "doer". It's me. I do the laundry. I do the vacuuming and dusting. I collect the garbage from around the house. I take out the garbage. I take out the recycling. I clean the bathroom. I unload the dishwasher. I do the tidying up - to the extent that we tidy up. And none of it gets done enough because I hate to have all my free time spent doing this stuff. With his schedule, A has more blocks of free time off than I do, yet he doesn't do anything with it. An hour or two spent on some housework on his days off and it would make a world of difference. He's not going to change though - he may promise - but I know better. He hasn't changed in 6 years - except to do less - so I need to stop expecting more. I probably won't though.

Friday Photos!

Happiness is...

....a day early. But - I have such cause to be happy this morning. I woke up with my husband in bed next to me.
Sunday night, there was a 7 alarm fire in Chinatown. 7 alarms is pretty damn big. While at the fire, searching an apartment, A fell part of the way through a hole in the floor that the fire had created. Had he fallen all the way through, it would have been a whole different outcome. He was able to pull himself out of the hole, but realized he was in a bad situation. He had received some burns in his fall. He had to find a different way out of the apartment - couldn't go back as he came. He called in a mayday, but kept working to get himself out. He heard the guys on the hose line and kept moving, finding a door. The door was locked and he couldn't use his tools on them because he couldn't grip them due to his burns on his hands. He was able to use his gloves to open the lock and get out. He has second degree burns on his upper arm and one ear. He has first degree (the least serious) on his stomach and fingers. The fingers hurt a lot, probably due to all the nerve endings there.
Yesterday was a stressful day, thinking what could have happened and worried about how bad the burns actually were. I felt a lot better when I got to see him and hug him - gently. It could have been so bad. He's well trained though. He credits that to him getting out. He particularly credits his captain and one of his lieutenants for the things they taught him and the confidence they inspired in his skills. I am grateful to them too. I am also grateful to all the friends and family and FDNY family that reached out to us yesterday.
Now, today, I just heard him get up. So, I am going to go have breakfast with my husband. :)

Friday Photos

It's been a while - but here are some new photos. Spring has sprung!

Happiness is....

...yummy yarn. I'm knitting a stole for myself right now. I'm using Malabrigo Silky Merino. It's so nice and soft. The colors are beautiful. The color is called Amoroso. It's a red based yarn, but with deeper almost purple sections and lighter almost pink sections and a bit of an orange tint here and there as well. I need to take a picture. It's just lovely yarn and lovely colors. I want to knit this bag I've seen - I have the pattern. You felt the bag. I would love to do it in black, with a stripe that would match my Amoroso Silky Merino - I think it would be stunning. The pretty things I can possibly create by knitting really makes me happy.

I'm a wimp

Oh yeah, I'm a wimp big time. I cut myself with the bread knife last night. I couldn't look at it. I couldn't think about it. I was worried that I would need stitches. Thank heavens for my firefighter (and former EMT) husband. He took care of bandaging my wound. I was getting queasy and had to sit and put my head down, fearing I would pass out. Boomer took care of me too, coming to sit with me and stand protectively over me. This morning, he rebandaged it - and I had to squat down at one point because I started feeling woozy again. I am such a wimp.

Happiness is...

...a bunch of things this week. Being outside this weekend in the beautiful weather - I just love how Boomer soaks it up. You know the saying "happy as a pig in shit"? Well, I would like to be happy as Boomer in the sun. I got lots of hugs from A this week. There's no way to describe how wonderful it feels just to be in his arms. I started a new knitting project that I had just been itching to start. I got a new phone and I was part of the winning spelling bee team. It was a good week.
They aren't all good weeks. That's one of the reasons I started doing these Wednesday "Happiness is.." posts. I want to be happy and when I started these posts, I was in a place where I had to look for the happy things. I was determined to be happy and knew that if I looked at it, most every week I could find something that was happy.
I feel for a new friend of mine today. Today is an anniversary of a loss for her. I know how hard that is. I know that time will deaden the pain - but I also know that the sadness will always remain. Part of it is that you don't get to grieve in the same way when you lose a child before birth. It's not as real a loss to other people as it is to you. I think that makes the grieving process harder. But it is, for most of us, survivable. And you can find happiness in life again, you just have to really look for it sometimes.

A little frustration with the hubby

I gave A a list today of things that needed to get done. He seemed a little peeved - said he wasn't - but he had that kind of attitude he gets sometimes. Well - I'm peeved. I asked him to do one thing yesterday that he needed to do for me so I could send our tax paperwork to the accountant. He didn't do it. He went and had coffee with friends at one firehouse, went to visit friends at another firehouse - but couldn't put together what I needed for the taxes. And it's not something I can do - he has to do it. He's been on vacation since the end of February. There was one thing I told him early on that I wanted him to do while off - clean out his drawers. He has so many t-shirts and shorts and jeans that they don't fit in his drawers. He hasn't given any indication of doing it. Lastly, he needs to lose weight. About six weeks ago he came home from work all ready to lose weight. He had had his blood pressure taken and it was high. He was going to lose weight. Honestly, I don't see him putting a lot of effort into it. His weight is down, but he's not working out and his eating habits are not any better. I've tried every which way I can think of to encourage him to lose weight and I've just about given up. He doesn't care. He knows his weight is not healthy, but apparently being healthy and being around to live a long life with me is no incentive to lose weight and get healthy. He would rather have his beer and his Carvel and his unhealthy food than live a long life with me. It makes me want to cry. It makes me want to give up. I want him around. I want him healthy. And yes, selfishly, I want him to look fit too. I love him so much. He kisses me and I melt. It's not that he doesn't turn me on big belly and all - but I would like for him to be more fit. I would like to be able to hug and kiss him and feel the length of him - not be an belly's width away. But he doesn't care enough to lose the weight and that just makes me sad and frustrated and ready to give up on him ever losing weight.

Feeling fortunate amidst the destruction

When I drive around my town, and through the next towns to my place of work, I feel very fortunate. We lost a few shingles off the roof in Saturday's storm and got some water in the basement, but that's it. We didn't have trees crashing in our yard or through our house. No power lines down at our house or in our neighborhood. We have power. There are trees down all over the place. Huge trees just uprooted. It was some storm!

Happiness is...

....going for a walk with the Boom Doggie. He's always happier about it than me - not that I don't enjoy it - but because going for a walk makes that dog INSANELY happy. He'll run around in circles, so excited about going for a walk. Even the mere mention of a walk gets him excited. We can not say "do you want to take the dog for a walk" unless we are going to follow through. He understands what it means. Or saying "I'm going for a walk" gets him in a tizzy, thinking he's going too. So, we talk about taking him for a stroll or use our fingers to make a walking motion or some other such way of indicating walk without saying it. We've gotten to take a few walks lately, thanks to the sneak preview of spring we've been having. It's a good thing.

A week later - evidence of spring

Taken yesterday - hard to believe a week ago there was over a foot of snow here.

Friday Photos

Just some shots of the snow last Saturday. When we headed out to Maine, there was 13 inches on the ground. (The 9 in shot was earlier.)

Friday Photos

Let's start off with the Boom Doggie. Then we have the finished Baby Surprise Jacket, which will be delivered to the recipient tomorrow. Next week, I'll load up the pictures of yesterday/today's snow storm - but for now -off into the snow we go.

Screw it. I give up. I quit.

Every feel like saying that? I do. Today. Sometimes, I just have no fight in me. I got on the scale this morning. I had expected to gain last week, based on our meals out. I was good this week though and really did some serious exercising. I lost not one ounce. The scale did not budge. It is so frustrating. Why do I bother. Why not just eat all the chocolate I want and get fat. And my panty hose feel tight this morning. Pisses me off. Then there's some of the stupid shit at work. I don't know why I let it get to me sometimes. We allow wasteful spending because none of the elected officials have the balls to say anything to the special interest groups. The Library - world's, no wait universe's best library - gets to spend our money with no checks because after all - they are the universe's best library. Why do I get aggravate anymore? I know the deal. And then there's the volley fire houses. We have three. One is really good about spending our money. One is ehhh and the third wastes our money. They are getting a new truck. It's costing a couple hundred thousand more than it should and they'll get it because no one will say no. The other departments bitch about them and could stop them - but do they? no. Then there's the in-laws. My MIL is trying to plan a get together of my family. What's up with that? She's a lovely woman. I really like her. I'm happy that she likes my family. But I'm not happy that she seems to be trying to become part of my family. I need a little separation there.  It's not that I don't see her actions as nice and well intended, but I more see that she is trying to take away that separation - that Chinese Wall - that I need between my family and my in-laws. It's not that I think my MIL would ever do anything mean or bad to me, but I need a place to retreat and be cocooned from in-law interference - and if we become one big happy family - well that's just shot. And this weekend we're headed to Maine to the BIL's for a 1st birthday party for the nephew. I expect that I'm going to be pretty much done by the time we come home. The baby is adorable. I love him. I like knitting for him. But it will be a weekend of being reminded of what I don't have and will never have. I will have to keep a happy face on all weekend. It won't always be a strain - but I'm thinking that by the time we head for home, I will have wanted to head home hours ago. Too much baby, too much togetherness, too much Maine in the middle of the freakin' winter. I would really like to just curl up in a ball and say "I quit" sometimes. Just accept defeat and wallow in it. Today is one of those days.