Monday, May 16, 2011

to plan or not to plan

I got to thinking about planning your life when I learned that someone I knew was having her third child.  It's none of my business, but I have to admit that the first thing that came to mind was "I wonder if this was a surprise or did they plan this."  Followed by "if she planned this - what was she thinking?"  Now - I thought that because of my knowledge of her family situation and her work situation.  My primary concern was her having a 3rd child considering things that may happen with her work and, if they do happen, her family situation is not ideal for handling the circumstance.  Again, none of it is really any of my business - but it got me thinking about planning your life and how much should you plan?  There's a saying that goes something like "life is what happens while you're busy making plans".  We really do have the capability to do family planning in ways that they didn't in years past.  Of course, we don't have quite the capabilities that some people think we do!  Planning when not to have a family by preventing is much easier to do than planning conception.  I think that some people end up regretting having planned and waited.  If you're doing that - determining when it is the right time has got to be the hardest.  If you wait for it all to fall into place - well - that just might never happen.  I don't think there is ever a "perfect" time.  Money, siblings, work, day care, housing, cars - too many things can make it a bad time.  Had my parents waited for the right time, I may not exist.  They had just moved in with my father's mother.  Picture this living situation - my father's sister and her husband lived in the first floor apartment with their two children.  We shared the second and third floor with my grandmother.  Her bedroom was on the second floor.  My father converted the attic into two bedrooms - one for him and Mom and one for the three of us kids.  Certainly not an ideal situation - but they decided the timing was right.  Weird, I know.  And for this woman - given what she does for a living, the timing may never be good for her to plan her 3rd child.  If she had waited for a resolution to what she faces at work, it may have ended up being too late for her to have more children.  I won't deny that it worries me what may happen to that little family, but really -  you could have the perfect circumstances to expand your family and tomorrow, your spouse gets hit by a bus on the way home from work and then, not so perfect after all.  So, I say just do it.  Do what comes naturally and let life happen.  If you want more kids, do it.  If you want to take that job, go for it.  Don't be stupid and overextend yourself, but if opportunity arises, think real long and hard before you pass it up waiting for the "right" time.  That right time may never come.

1 comment:

Estelle said...

Just take life day by day, it is so much easier than trying to live in the future.