Wednesday, December 26, 2007
I think I did a sucky job on his gifts. I hit it right about every other year.
The dog and I are blue today. We both miss all the activity of the last several days.
I have one cousin who is a total ass. His idea of dinner conversation on Christmas Eve was to grill me about the floods in the town I work for like it was my fault. He was asking what "our property taxes pay for" and I pointed out to him that he doesn't pay any taxes in town. I made an obscene gesture and left the table.
My brother is still a shithead.
Dinner with mom & the sisters went well. It was very relaxed. The table looked lovely - especially my new reindeer table runner from the Pottery Barn! I wish I had taken a picture. The dogs quieted down enough for us to eat peacefully. It was truly funny watching my sister's little cocker spaniel get annoyed with Boomer and chase him down the stairs. The best was when Boomer tried to hide under the table. Well - no - really - the best was that Boomer slept very soundly in his own bed because he was just exhausted.
I'm doing a ton of laundry today - post holiday, pre-bowl game trip. Go UCONN.
I really am blue - I hate the let down after the holiday. I'm looking to keep myself occupied, so in addition to laundry, I'm going to get back to knitting the sweater I started for A about 5 years ago. Yeah. I started it 5 years ago. I take a loooooong time to finish projects like that.
My aunt gave me my grandmother's cookie plate. It's 77 years old. I love having stuff of Nanny's to use.
Can I mention again that I love my husband? He's just a good guy and so darn cute. I love kissing him, being held in his arms, just hearing him breathe at night. Next year, if his work group does not change - he'll be off duty Christmas Day, all day! Please, please no group changes next year. Since we've been together, the only time I've had him all day Christmas Day was the year he was on medical leave because he had shoulder surgery. So - if it's not too early, I will make my Christmas wish for next year - to have A. off duty on Christmas Day.
Friday, December 21, 2007
Monday, December 17, 2007
So - now - it's one month later. Cousin K has invited everyone to his home for Christmas Eve. Now - K is none too happy about brother not coming to Mom's Christmas party. So - when brother calls him to say he can't come to Christmas Eve, K pounces on the whole party thing - says "hey, where was my invitation to bitch's birthday party?" (well - he used her name - but you get the idea). Well - this is where it gets really good and brother's shitheadedness shows itself once again. The answer was "well - that ended up not happening, we just went out and had a nice dinner - just us." Now - we don't know who just us was - but - THERE WAS NO 50TH BIRTHDAY PARTY. These kind of things just don't fall apart last minute. They could have come to my mother's party. Yes, it would have been a 4 hour drive - but one of my aunts came from Florida for it - he couldn't drive 4 freaking hours?!?!?! And then he says - just to top it off - "we'll have to get together for a beer and have a talk" as if he is somehow going to explain why, despite there being no conflicting party, they didn't go to the Cape for Mom's party. I can see it now - it will somehow be the fault of me and my sister's. I don't think he realizes that his gig is really up with most of the family. They see what he and his wife are and they don't buy the excuses - but no one says anything to them outright in order to protect my mother.
Now - I've invited that asshole and his wife for Christmas. I so desperately want to call him and tell him to forget it, don't come. Please note - that it's been 2 weeks since I invited him and he has yet to respond. It didn't get lost in the mail - we talked on the phone and I said "please come" - so I can't wait to hear the excuse for not calling with an answer - if he ever even does. Anyway - I digress again. I feel like I"m in a position where I can not uninvite him because that would then require an explanation. Either I make up an explanation that makes me look bad - or I tell the truth and my mother is hurt. She doesn't deserve that.
Let me tell you this right here and now. When my mother passes away (God willing many years from now) I plan to deliver a eulogy. At that point - if he hasn't changed his ways, it's no holds barred. I will consider the fact that we will be in a church when I plan what to say and I may keep the remarks such that I don't actually name names, but I will get my say and if the two of them don't get what I'm saying in church, I'll make sure they get it afterwards. And then, I'll have no more to do with them. They will cease to exist for me.
Friday, December 14, 2007
We got out of work early yesterday, due to the snow. It annoys the heck out of me that the employee in my office who can walk to work always seems to be the first to respond to the notice that we are closing early due to snow.
I was a responsible neighbor this morning. I got out there and shovelled my sidewalk. Kids in our neighborhood have to walk to school, so I wanted our section clear for them. Then I had to shovel out the end of the driveway. The way the plow had packed the snow in there made it kind of like a cliff. I wasn't sure that my car would get through it like that. My neighbor said that's one of the reasons he'll never have a car again - always going for an SUV. Let me tell you - I'm thinking about it!
Yesterday's storm was one of the best kind we could get. The bulk of it was between 7 and 3 - so overtime should not be so bad. Nice way to look at it - huh! :) Can't help it - it's in my genes. There was nothing my dad hated more than snow on a holiday. That meant triple time for the guys on the public works crew.
Ah well - this season brings another thing besides snow - the Salvation Army bell ringers. I'm off now to go ring the bell with our Tax Collector. We'll be relieving two cops. Want to bet the cops get the biggest donations? I told them it wasn't fair to be carrying their guns while they did it but....hey - it is for charity.
Wednesday, December 12, 2007
Food that is good for you should taste good. Food that is bad for you should taste bad. Something is just wrong with the world.
There is no such word as "alot". That one irks me like no other misuse of the English language. Well, maybe my old boss's use of "supposably" irked me more.
Air machines should be free everywhere. Every gas station should have one and it should be in working order.
Not such a bad list. I'm in a good mood today.
Tuesday, December 11, 2007
For me, it's sunsets, A's smile, good music, hot cocoa, warm brownies or apple pie, a cold beer on a hot day, the smells and sounds of the ocean, a fire in the fireplace. (For A - it's a fire anywhere as long as he's fighting it!) There's more - fresh sheets, warm sand under my toes, freshly cut grass, the smell of a rose - especially when I grew it! It's reaching out at night with my foot and finding A's foot in bed. It's sitting on my front porch with a cup of coffee and the newspaper or a good book. It's hearing my windchimes or hearing Boomer's tail thump against the floor as I approach him. It's lots of things every day. There's a book I have somewhere - something like "14000 things to be happy about" it's got good stuff in it - little things you forget about usually, but when you read them you think - yeah - that's something to be happy about.
I've got to do a post on life's little irritants too (like rubberneckers) - but I thought I would focus on the good stuff first.
Thursday, December 06, 2007
I haven't done a happy thought in a while - so today's is - I'm having a lot of fun giving little presents to my Secret Santa recipient at work.
As for the life list - I'll have to go back and check what I've listed so far.
Wednesday, December 05, 2007
I only just took off my toenail polish from this summer.
I invite my brother and his family (bitch-in-law, etc) to my house for Christmas dinner. I did not do it with pure intentions. For one - I figure they won't come. For two - I did it mainly so that they could not say I didn't invite them. Granted the bitch will likely say I waited until late to ask - but she would come up with something to complain about even if I had asked them back in August (which is around the time I last painted my toenails).
My office is a disaster.
I have been cheating a bit on my diet - eating chocolate at work. It's very hard not to do so.
There's a couple of changes that may happen staff wise here and I think they are long overdue. I can't say that to the people involved because one is a friend - but it's time she leaves. The other one - I can't stand - which I guess is a corollary confession. She's a holier than though know it all who portrays herself as this down to earth "real" I say what I mean kind of person. She is not at all a team player and really - just - as they say "thinks who she is". Not sure what that really means - but it describes her well.
Last one - I made my dog wear an elf hat and reindeer ears to pose for our Christmas card photos. Evidence below.
Now that I have confessed - maybe I'll go say 3 Hail Marys and an Act of Contrition.
Wednesday, November 28, 2007
Being an adult is not so bad. I've got a lot going on at work right now - and will continue to have a lot going on right up through mid-April. It's stressful. I'm doing double duty - my job and my boss's. The new boss starts in about 6 weeks - but that's right when budget starts and that goes on until April. Sometimes I feel like there just aren't enough hours in the day, days in the week to do it all - and I worry that there are things that maybe I should be doing, but I'm not aware of them and how do I address that because I really want to be doing a good job at this. Especially now that I'm getting paid extra to do it. Not a lot extra, so I don't feel like I have to actually do all aspects of both jobs to earn the dollars - but still, I want to do a good job. Monday, at one point, I thought my head might explode. I just needed to quiet - nothing running through my brain for a few minutes to stop it - kind of like taking boiling water off the burner for a bit. Anyway - I can handle it - and it's good to know that I can - but I'll be glad when the end of April rolls around. I think I need to plan for a little time off then. That's when the child inside can go play!
Tuesday, November 20, 2007
Monday, November 19, 2007
Saturday, November 17, 2007
Had to post that. I need to learn the words! One more regular season game against West Virginia. If UCONN wins that game, they win the Big East. Okay - it's a long shot - but wow! They could win the Big East. They should be going to a good bowl game regardless. We'll be going with them.
Friday, November 16, 2007
Tuesday, November 13, 2007
This was not a good sports weekend for my boys in blue - UCONN and the Giants. Both lost - very sad. Next weekend is the last home game for UCONN. It's a noontime start - so we'll be doing a breakfast tailgate. They should win - they had better!
I got a lot done this weekend. The new closet doors are painted. The trim in the bathroom is painted. I had made myself a list. I got everything on it done except for doing laundry. I did not do a speck of laundry. How stupid was that? I could have dumped a load in while doing other stuff. Oh well - guess I'll do it tonight.
I have to talk to the elected boss about some kind of compensation for filling in for the appointed boss. I would love it if they gave me a bonus. That might mean we could replace a bunch of windows in the spring.
Okay - will sign off now. I plan to spend the rest of my lunch hour determining if we should stay with our current bank - Bank of America or switch and maybe move my IRA from Morgan Stanley at the same time. Fun stuff - not really, but it is right up my alley.
Tuesday, November 06, 2007
Monday, November 05, 2007
Friday, November 02, 2007
Monday, October 29, 2007
So anyway - awesome game for UCONN. They beat South Florida. This was a big win for them. It was exciting. We had a great tailgate before the game. Then we sat indoors with some friends, rather than in our usual seats. On the way in, I saw this guy who was either an ex-boyfriend or the ex-boyfriend's twin brother. He really is a twin. So I went up to him and said "Are you Tom or Paul?" It was Tom, the one I dated. He's aged - really aged. And let me say - he was a bit of a shit when we dated. And to look at him - and then to look back at my husband - wow! Did I make out! I look at A's face - and I just love to look at it - I could look at him all day long. Tom - eh. So - anyway - the rain helped UCONN. USF was ranked way higher - had been #2 a couple of weeks ago. Most of the game, UCONN was clearly better. Towards the end, USF started coming back. There were a couple of 3rd downs where it was important for UCONN to hold. When you are outside in the seats - you get up on 3rd downs and make noise - anything to disrupt the other team's offense. People in the club seats don't normally do it - after all - the team can't hear them. Well - late in the game on USF's last drive - I couldn't take it anymore. It's 3rd down - I have to get up. So I did - and so did a whole bunch of the people in our section. It was awesome! After UCONN won - the players went to the student section and gestured to the kids to come down on the field. They did - the poor security guards couldn't stop them. It was incredible - just incredible. We're going to a bowl baby! And it won't be Detroit this time. (At least I hope not.)
Okay - on to A-Rod. Good riddance. You don't want to be a Yankee - fine. He's so full of hot air. He is not worth $30m until age 45. And he and his agent showed a total lack of class in his announcement. Yeah - I'm no fan of the Red Sox. I admit that baseball was a hell of a lot more fun when the curse was on and they found innumerable ways to win in the playoffs or World Series. But hey - they were clearly on their way to winning the World Series last night. Couldn't A-Rod's announcement have waited a day? He had 10 days after the end of the Series to decide to opt out of his contract. What a jerk. Mr. September. Yup - MVP in the regular season, DUD in the post-season. I would love nothing more than to win the World Series next year - sans A-Rod.
Friday, October 26, 2007
First - my friends. After my last post, I have received several supportive e-mails from friends. Some of these friends I've never actually met "in real life" as they say. They are women that post on the same board I do and who have shared similar experiences. I can not begin to express what their support and friendship means to me. Thank you ladies. Thank you from the bottom of my heart. You are amazing women. I am blessed to know you.
The second opportunity was with my husband and his friends - firemen of course. A got a call last night saying that his friend PK was missing. PK is a reliable guy. He left his local volley house to go to his job as captain of a boat early yesterday morning. He was to be present at a dinner his boss was hosting on the boat that night. The boss called the firehouse looking for him. PK wasn't there. The guys mobilized. One went to the marina locally to hunt for him. A & another guy went off to a marina he worked at in a nearby city. They were calling his cell phone regularly, driving around town looking for him. They even had me call the cops to see if he was sitting in the police station. It was scary - but amazing to see how these men got together and said - our friend is missing, we're going to do whatever we can to find him. They found him later in the evening. He's okay.
So - friends are amazing. Thank God for them.
Wednesday, October 24, 2007
Tuesday, October 23, 2007
Where am I on my life list? I'll have to pick up the number later - but here's my latest addition - Drive across the mid-west. I think it must be such a beautiful area.
Friday, October 12, 2007
Friday, October 05, 2007
Do you walk to the right - like we drive to the right? If you were in England, would you walk to the left?
Why does my dog always go bop his nose on his leash and the bag of poopie bags when I'm filling his food dish?
Don't you hate it when you, a normally responsible person, screw up and you want to blame it on someone else - anyone else - but you really can't because it was your responsibility in the first place? Don't you hate it more when someone else does that?
What do you do when your brand new Bic that is supposed to write first time, every time, fails after the first time?
Can Superballs lose their mojo?
Tuesday, October 02, 2007
....my dog. How could I not love that little face! He's 70 pounds of love. Seeing his tail wag, or hearing it thump against the floor is such a happy thing. Even when he's a pita, I love him.
....fall. The air is so crisp and clean. It's football season. The leaves on the trees are turning beautiful colors. I even love fall clothing.
....the Yankees, the Giants and UCONN. Go teams Go.
....chocolate. No explanation needed I should think.
....my dining room. I just love the colors we chose, the furniture. (Well okay maybe not the bookcase, but that won't be there forever.)
....my life. Sure, it's not perfect - but it's damn good.
Monday, October 01, 2007
Don't Cheat on lanes! I can't stand people who think that their need to get ahead is so important that they make left-hand turns from the center lane - which is for going straight ahead. Other cheaters are the ones who come up from the a different lane and sneak into the turning lane at the last second - all to avoid waiting in the line of traffice in the turning lane. My last category of lane cheaters are on the highway, when there is a slow down in traffic and they drive in the breakdown lane. I know this is legal in some areas. It is not legal where I drive. And it's cheating.
Don't get in the left lane if you don't plan to keep up with the flow! Need I explain? My exception to this rule is if you move over temporarily to pass someone. But don't stay if you're not going to go with the flow. I'm not asking you to speed - just to go with the flow(recognizing that that may involve speeding).
Happy Thoughts for the Day - happy, happier and happiest....
Happy - The Yankees made the playoffs.
Happier - The Mets did not.
Happiest - The Giants beat the Eagles.
Friday, September 28, 2007
Monday, September 24, 2007
Have I mentioned that my dog does Chewbacca type noises? We've made a real effort to get him to stop barking at us. It's okay to bark at intruders, but not at us to indicate he wants something. So - we've been pretty successful. Instead of barking, he know does the Chewbacca things. He talks to us. Sometimes it's so funny sounding, I have to laugh.
I had a weird dream last night. In the planning for my mother's 75th birthday party, someone decided that we would have an American theme. So my sister said that she would not be making Swedish meatballs for the party - after all, they are Swedish not American. I had a total meltdown. Over meatballs.
Both the Yankees and Giants won yesterday. UCONN & the Yankees won on Saturday. Good sports weekend here.
I thought the new season of Desperate Housewives was starting last night.
Friday, September 21, 2007
I've been thinking on this topic the last few days - some of the other "what ifs" in my life. What if I had gone to a larger, co-ed college? Would I still be living within an hour of my childhood home? Would I have met and married someone in college? Would my career path have been the same? Would I know have kids in college or grad school? Maybe even be planning a wedding for a child?
What if I had stuck to my original plan to study nursing in college instead of thinking pre-med? Would I have stuck with it? Would I be good at it? Where would I be career-wise? Would I have been happy?
What if my father had not died when I was in college? Would I be who I am now? Would I have gone to school for my masters in South Carolina as originally planned? Where would I be living? Would my parents have moved to Cape Cod or Florida?
What if I had decided to have a child on my own, using a sperm donor before getting married? Would it have been a good life for me and my child? What if I decided to never diet again and just accept whatever weight I ended up at? Could I be happy? What if I hadn't lost that paycheck 20 years ago? I still think about that $200 in cash - what I could buy with it. What if I had bought my first condo in Bethel or New Milford instead of Woodbury? What if I had taken the job in California instead of the city in CT? What if we had gotten the Bridgeport account at MSDW? What if I had gone to Paine Webber? What if I had gotten the MDC job?
What if I had no miscarriages? What if we hadn't adopted Boomer?
What if I had been too hung up on the age difference to say yes to A? I just can not imagine that one. What if I had met A 8 years earlier? I like that one. I think that A and I were meant to be. Had we met 8 years earlier, we would have still fallen in love and gotten married. I like to think we would have had several children as well. The downside to us meeting 8 years earlier is another what if - What if A had been on duty on 9/11? I could not bear to know the answer to that one.
In the end, I think I'm in a good place. I love my husband dearly and can not imagine being with anyone else. I really like our house. It would be nice to have something bigger - like the one on the street behind us that is now listed at our purchase price - but that one's on a busy street and maybe their neighbors aren't as great as ours. So - if I could "get" any of my "what ifs", it would be to not have had a miscarriage and for my father not to have died. Totally understandable.
Wednesday, September 19, 2007
Continuing with the bulky waste theme - don't you wish we could have a bulky waste day for our life problems, work issues, relationships, family members? This week I would throw my brother's wife on the bulky waste pile. Oh heck - who am I kidding - I would throw her out there any week. Maybe actually today I wouldn't put her out there because it happens to be my brother's birthday. (I sent a card. Mailed it Monday so he should have it on time, unlike the card he sent me.) I might throw the Giants defense on the bulky waste pile too. I would like to add a couple of board members, my weight problems, my knuckle cracking habit and my flabby arms. If only it were that easy.
Happy Thought for the Day....I love my morning walks with the dog in this weather. It's cool and crisp out. It feels so fresh and new. I love that we have the world mostly to ourselves.
Life List #7 Beat my older sister at Monopoly or Risk - either one - doesn't matter, so long as I WIN!
Monday, September 17, 2007
Friday, September 14, 2007
Just some generic comments on life
- people need to learn how to merge onto a highway. That should be covered in driver's ed.
- kids will play with anything that amuse them - last night one of our friend's stopped by with his 8 year old - the kid was happy as could be just clomping around with one of A's boots on
- I think I could be happy with only 3 seasons - spring, summer and fall - if I had to, I would make do with 2 of the 3 and would happily give up summer if I could have spring and fall all year
- pink is a good color for me, I should wear more of it
- every house should have a front porch - they are just the best thing for a neighborhood
Wednesday, September 12, 2007
Yesterday was hard for A, harder than the last several 9/11 anniversaries have been. I think it's because he's back in Mid-town, at a company that lost quite a few guys on 9/11. For the previous several years, he's been in Harlem in a house that lost no one - although 2 of the guys lost their brothers. It's not quite the same. Memorials are slightly different, no pictures or placques of the 9/11 dead in the firehouse - so I think that's what hit him. That, and it was a Tuesday for the first time. Thank God it wasn't a gorgeous day like it was in 2001.
Life List #6. Knit something - anything - that is not simply stockinette or garter stitch.
Oh - and re: LL#5 - I mean to go to a game in each ballpark. There's one ballpark that I visited, but did not watch a game, so I'm not counting that.
Tuesday, September 11, 2007
Some things can not be adequately expressed, yet cry desperately to be told
told to those you know and love
to those you meet in passing
told to the children of today
and to those who are yet unborn
You need to tell them what you saw that day
And make them see....
the ones who fought with hand and axe
and took the stairs by twos,
who looked into the face of death
and stayed its hand,
if only for a moment,
with a calm ferocity of spirit
the ones in uniform and those without
who vanished in the coming of a madman's dream
the fatherless...the motherless...the childless who remain to mourn them
Tell them of the great heart of a great people
And let them ask, and let them hear your answers.
To our friends and colleagues at the New York City Fire Department
To the men and women of the Police Department and emergency medical services
To all who have sacrificed and those who will.
We will tell your stories.
We will remember.
My younger sister has never been an early bird. Thank God for that - it may have saved her life on 9/11. My sister worked on the 89th floor of 1 WTC (the first hit). 5 of her co-workers were there in the building that day. All survived. They had all been in the back rooms of the office and managed to get out a back door. They said the front offices - where my sister's was - were all engulfed in flames.
Monday, September 10, 2007
My doggie has kennel cough - got it at the kennel! Poor puppy. He really doesn't like taking his meds, but we're getting them in him. The cough medicine makes him drowsy. It's kind of funny to see him zonk out! Being the mean old nasty selfish peoples that we are, we give him the evening dose shortly before bed time! Hey - he's got to take the medicine - no reason we shouldn't benefit from it too!
The audit is upon me. It doesn't seem too bad so far. I got a lot done over the weekend to prepare. I have only a few entries left and the footnotes, md&a and transmittal. Half of that stuff usually waits until later anyway. The good old BOE is holding me up on stuff - pain in my butt.
Happy Thought for the Day - I will get to sleep with A. every night for the next two weeks.
5. Visit every major league baseball park. (I have been to 5 so far, if I count stadiums that are now closed.)
Friday, September 07, 2007
What the heck happened? I was doing well, in a groove, staying pretty stable - then August happened. That's my story and I'm sticking to it. Seriously though - let's add it up...
- golf outing - copious amounts of beer and other fun food
- 3 different Fire Department pickups - yup - copious amounts of beer and fun food
- vacation at Mom's - appetizers every night and copious amounts of wine
- my birthday - birthday cakes, birthday dinners, birthday drinks, etc
I have to figure out how I am going to do this. I've done Weight Watchers and South Beach before and both work. I do wish I had stuck with the South Beach Diet, but when we moved, I got slack. I've tried going back - but something always gets me off track. It's a guaranteed winner and it is healthy eating. But - breakfast is a toughie. A is off to rescue school for two weeks, which means I will have morning dog duty 4 days a week which in turn means limited time for breakfast preparation - unless, that is, I want to get up early or otherwise alter my morning routine. I am a creature of habit. I think it goes with being a Virgo - I need to stick to my routines. So - if I do SB starting now, that means figuring out something for breakfast other than scrambled eggs 4 days/week. It also means I really should do salads for lunch - that's been the best for me when on South Beach.
I could do Weight Watchers again. Again - healthy eating habits and it makes you consider your options, which is really good practice. I don't want to go to meetings though. If there isn't the dreaded weigh-in with a person other than myself - so that I can't lie or fudge - will I stick to it? Was that a key factor in WW working for me in the past? That need to please the weigh-in woman? I suppose if I think that's key, A could weigh me in. Can't trust the Boom Doggie to do that, he's not good with numbers. The other thing with WW is that you have to be dilgent and record everything you eat and you have to calculate points. I think I would have to sign up for the online program. Advantage SB here - no cost. WW has an advantage in that there are basically no banned foods - not even alcohol! I do think though, looking back on my August history, that I should stay off the sauce for a bit as I'm sure that was a major factor in my weight gain.
I don't like the Atkins diet. I could do the Special K thing, Special K for two meals a day and watching what I eat in between. I just don't see myself doing Jenny Craig or Nutri-system. I don't really like the idea of dieting by eating their food. What happens when you are done losing and need to transition back to preparing your own food? I've done hypnosis - and that really worked. I could do it again, I still have my tape. The thing is, in the tape, the hypnotist refers to me getting healthy as I'm trying to get pregnant. Do I want to listen to that? Reality is that we are still trying and it was after doing the hypnosis and losing some weight that I did get pregnant - so maybe I should dig that out.
I'm not sure what else is out there. I don't really trust myself to just "eat sensibly" in order to lose weight. I've also started doing some weight lifting and pilates again to help me be more fit. I need to kick up the cardio. The dog walks are not quite doing it. I'm thinking it would be good for all three of us - me, A and Boomer - to get out there for longer walks. Maybe this will be the time I maintain my weight level for a good long time. Hey - it could happen. Really.
Thursday, September 06, 2007
No happy thoughts today. I'm just going to get through the day. It will be busy, so that's good.
Wednesday, September 05, 2007
Happy thought for the day - maybe for life - I think that A. volunteered to clean the bathroom from now on - for life. I hate cleaning the bathroom, especially the toilet. Now if I can get him to dust - my life will be complete!
Life list - what number am I on?
4. Play golf at Pebble Beach. Very do-able.
Tuesday, September 04, 2007
I'm working on my happy thought for the day and not coming up with anything that I'm particularly happy about. It's not that I'm sad - I think it's just that I have a lot to get done at work this week.
WAIT! HAPPY THOUGHT! The new HR Director started today so I won't have to be doing HR work for much longer. Indeed a happy thought!
Friday, August 31, 2007
Thursday, August 30, 2007
Now - we are planning a party for my mother's 75th birthday. It started out as just me and A talking about doing Thanksgiving on the Cape, since he'll be on vacation in November, and how we could do something out there, maybe invite the neighbors. Or, if Mom wanted to come back to CT for the holiday because her brother is here, we could do something at our house. Well, little sis called Monday "neighbors want to know if we are doing anything" I told her we had a brief discussion with Mom, but nothing decided. Now she's off trying to get everything nailed down and planned. And coordinated with the neighbors? Huh? And she's somehow invited the rest of the family to Thanksgiving on the Cape. She's being a total PITA and can't understand why I'm irritated. I'm not really irritated - just don't think we need to be planning this thing 3 months in advance and what's the deal with "coordinating with the neighbors"? Hello? They get invitations, they respond. If they want to help with food or decorations, we address that when they offer. I'm seriously missing something here, because I just don't get it. It doesn't help that one aunt is already talking about booking her flight and her son, my favorite cousin, is already trying to figure out what hotel to stay in. IT's 3 MONTHS AWAY! My poor mother doesn't even know yet. I've left that to older sis to handle.
Then I get an e-mail internally. A new dept head can not find his copy of the audit. He doesn't know where the old DH left it. That's what the e-mail from his assistant tells me. So - in a snarky mood I respond asking if he wants help finding it or is he looking for me to provide another copy. Hello. My name is Bitch.
Okay - here's a happy thought. After work, I am going to pick up my doggie. We boarded him yesterday while we went to Long Island for a picnic. I can't wait to see that sweet little face!
Tuesday, August 28, 2007
Monday, August 27, 2007
So - having had my little moment - it raises a question for me. Should we have all our signs in two languages? Why not 3? There are a lot of Brazilians here and they speak Portugese. What about assimilation? Should immigrants to America learn to speak English proficiently? If they do, are we killing off their language and culture - harming their children? My grandfather was a first generation American. His parents came here from Quebec. French was spoken in his home growing up, but also English. When PopPop married my grandmother, a first generation American born to Irish immigrants, he chose to speak only English in their home because my grandmother did not speak French. I think that it's really a shame that my mother and her siblings did not learn to speak French. So - I think it would be a bad thing if today's immigrants did not speak their native language in the home. But are we doing them, and our nation, a disservice by making it easy to get by without English? Or is it time we decided that this nation needs to be a bilingual nation?
Sunday, August 26, 2007
I was just skimming an article in the NY Times about life lists. You know - the lists people make of things they want to do before they die. I have one somewhere. I'll have to dig it out and see what some of the things I've listed are. I know buy a boat is one. I might start using the blog as a recorder for things I would like to do in my life.
We'll start with a realistic possibility.
1. Own a boat.
Friday, August 24, 2007
Thursday, August 23, 2007
Wednesday, August 22, 2007
On to the Cape. Weather was beautiful when we got there, but began to look like rain, so we got mom's stuff in off the line and made her bed. We like to rack up the brownie points! Hey - we are getting a virtually free vacation, so we need to help out around the house. The dog loves my mom. He enjoys being up there. He was very cute one afternoon when he managed to sneak out behind my mother. He was bounding around the yard. I could just see him thinking "I'm free, I'm free!"
Everything was all good until late Saturday afternoon. A comes in to me, listening to a message on his phone and says "Was I supposed to work this morning?" I told him I did not know and asked if they were looking for him to have been in the firehouse. Unfortunately, that was not the case. He had gotten a call telling him that there was a big fire at the Deutsche Bank Building and that word was one firefighter was dead and another one just barely hanging on. He was worried that someone was covering his shift and may be dead or nearly dead. He was also worried about all of the other guys in his firehouse and friends who were assigned to houses that would be responding. He was eventually able to get information telling him which company the dead firefighters were assigned to - I guess that's when he found out that the second one had passed. His main concern then was to check in on the guys in his house and to find out if his friend Chris, who was assigned to the firehouse of the brothers who passed, was okay. As the night wore on and into the next day, we got information. It was hard being so far away, because it wasn't top news to the Boston stations. We learned early Sunday that one of the men was a guy A had been friendly with in probie school. We also learned that it was A's company, including the guy covering his shift, that found the two men. They told him how bad it had been, the men who were low on air, the horrendous conditions, the fear that they weren't going home ever again.
I wonder what I would have done if we had not gone to the Cape for a few days, but had been at home. A would have been working. How would I have handled the news of the fire? Would I have been freaking out? Would I have even known? Sometimes I don't turn on the scanner when he's at work. I'm wondering if I should keep it off or on. Better to know or not know? We talked some about what would happen - who comes to notify me. A few years back, when he was in a different company, he had set it up that one of his friends would notify me. We decided this weekend that he'll set it up for their company Chaplain, who is a Priest in the Town I work for, to notify me. I'll tell you- if you ever ask what my greatest fear is - it's seeing a department car pull up in front of my house. I stressed to A that we need to start going to church again. What if something happened to him? Where would I bury him from? We need to belong somewhere. We need a faith-home. I know that the Chaplain would take care of us, but I want to belong somewhere. So I guess next weekend, we'll begin trying out some of the parishes in our area. I know I shouldn't "shop" for a church, but I want a place where we'll feel comfortable, where we'll be at home. If anything ever happens to A, I'm going to need it.
Tuesday, August 14, 2007
This morning - more silly stuff. Sometimes dogs see something that is outside the normal scene - like you've added a new decoration to the room - and they bark at it. Boomer did this when I was trying to decide what color to paint the bathroom, so I painted blocks of each color on the wall - he barked at the paint. So this morning, I'm taking him for his walk and he sees a garbage bag that the neighbor put out for pickup. Well - he gets in the stance and growls at the evil garbage bag. Too funny that dog! He was successful in scaring that bag. It did not attack us as we walked past. Later in that walk, my masculine doggie who was going to save me from the garbage bag, starts to cry when he sees a poodle being walked by his peoples across the street. He wanted to go play with the poodle and just gave this pitiful cries because he couldn't. Such a dog! I love this stuff!
Thursday, August 09, 2007
Wednesday, August 08, 2007
Tuesday, August 07, 2007
Saturday, August 04, 2007
I don't think society has really figured out how to deal with those of us who are infertile. The world is geared towards families. Parenthood is celebrated. We have holidays for parents! It always seem so much more horrible when tragedy befalls a parent. It can be very hard to live in a world designed for families. You can begin to feel like you have no place in the world. One of the questions most asked when you meet someone for the first time is "Do you have kids?" and when you say no - a lot of people don't know what to do with you! You get the nosy ones who probe as to why, there are the ones who can't think of another question to ask, there are those who offer you their kids (never a good thing to do) and of course there are the terrific people who move on to another topic or respond well to your moving on to another topic.
Infertility is so painful and so personal. You may never know that your co-worker, neighbor, friend or relative is suffering from infertility. If you don't know, how do you avoid hurting them? By their silence, have they foregone the right to sensitivity? I think that with a little common sense, a moment of thinking - you can sometimes avoid hurting someone who is silently suffering. Just some examples to show what I mean:
- If you or your wife just had a baby, only send out pictures of that baby to people who have requested them. I had a co-worker who sent me pictures of his new baby twice - once the pictures were specifically directed to me. I had never asked for them, never even talked to him about his wife's pregnancy - yet he sent me pictures of his brand new baby a couple of days after she was born. It devastated me. My baby had been due that same week. He could have saved me a lot of pain. I'm sure that in his joy, he never considered that there was anyone who wouldn't want to see the pictures.
- If you ask someone "do you have kids" and they say no - Leave it at that. Move on. There is nothing wrong with that. If the person wants to talk about it - volunteer further details, they will.
Like I said before, it's really hard to be infertile in a world designed for families. I think as years go by and people learn more about it, it will become easier.
Friday, July 27, 2007
Back to real life - my boss is leaving in two months - going to another town. People have asked if I am interested in his job. I don't think I am - which says to me that I should not do it. I am concerned about the politics that you get hit with at his level. I'm much safer - more insulated where I am. I'm also not convinced that I am ready for his job. I wanted another 5 years, during which I could learn, take some courses in areas where I feel I have a weakness and get myself ready. The other thing is - I don't think they would pay me what they are paying him. His current salary is about 20% more than what I make. I think that max, they would give me about 10% more than what I am getting now. I don't think that would be sufficient compensation for the increased responsibility, hours and aggravation. And as A. said - what happens if I don't like it - I can't exactly go back and positions in my current field don't open up everyday. I'm limited in where I can work by where we have to live - so - all things considered, I'll likely stay right where I am.
So A. has been gone for a week. The last time he was away from me (as opposed to me being away from him) for this length of time was when he went to New Orleans with the FDNY after Katrina. That was when I started this blog! I'll have to go back and read it from the start - see what kind of progress I have made!
Friday, July 20, 2007
Monday, July 16, 2007
Monday, July 09, 2007
Thursday, June 28, 2007
These next ones are balloon flowers - they look pretty. They are perennials. I like that idea.
My hydrangea! We didn't plant it, but we resurrected it! When we started out in the yard this spring, it looked kind of sad. I wish I had a before picture. We had pachysandra growing all around it. (Did I spell that right?) I don't like that stuff much. So - one Saturday was just pulling that crap out. It has done wonders for the hydrangea. Apparently the pachysandra would suck up all the water. I've been working on it, trying to encourage a more blue color - but I have to say, I'm liking the color we are getting.
Two owners ago, they had a lot of rose bushes. Some survived the people we bought the house from. This one here had about 9 or 10 buds on it this week! We plan to transplant it in the fall - move it to a better location. We have a several red bushes, two white, one yellow, one pink and one we don't know yet because it hasn't bloomed - but there is a bud. They are so fragrant. I have taught the dog to smell the flowers!!
And of course - there's the boom doggie and other stuff we did to the house. We built a second railing for the back steps. We painted the steps and the front porch grey, with the facing white. We also got some fake wicker furniture for the front porch. I love to sit out there, as does Boomer.