Monday, March 09, 2015

Big vent

It's been a long time since I posted and I doubt anyone ever visits here anymore and that's just fine.  I need to vent about something, but I can't really vent to any people.  So - here goes.  Hubby's firehouse celebrated their centennial yesterday - a big deal.  When they first started talking about the celebration a couple of years ago, it was going to be a dinner, wives included.  Then they determined they couldn't afford to do it up like that, so they switched to a luncheon with only past and present members invited.  I was fine with that.  Until today, when I found out that non-members were indeed allowed.  They had to fork over $200 - but they were allowed.  And wives were not.  Bastards.  I wonder if they even gave any thought to us during the day.  Hell, we were even discouraged from attending the public ceremonies.  And then I see a friend post his pictures on facebook.  He was there.  I get the feeling that our husbands do not fully appreciate our role in the firehouse family - that this celebration should have included us before it included any outsiders - any hangers-on.  We are the ones who worry when they are at work, when we hear about an incident that we know they are at - when a building explodes or a window washer is stuck 70 floors up in the Freedom Tower.  We are the ones who sleep alone several nights a week, who eat dinner alone and go to parties and weddings and school functions and baseball games and Lord knows what else alone - so that they can do what they do.  But we are not important enough to share in their biggest celebration ever - yet people with no legitimate association with the firehouse were.  I am hurt.  I want to cry.  I want someone to share in being pissed off with me.  But, I can't tell the other wives.  There's nothing to be gained in getting 28 other women pissed off too.  Sometimes men can be just so fucking stupid.

Wednesday, September 11, 2013


It's been a while since I posted, but I couldn't let today go by without a post. 
As I sat down at my desk this morning, I remembered sitting down here 12 years ago, turning on my PC and seeing the news.  At that point, it didn't say how big a plane.  I tried calling my sister who worked in 1 WTC on the 89th floor.  I left a voice message, hung up and my phone rang.  It was her, saying she was okay.  It wasn't until a subsequent conversation that I learned she had only just been leaving home when the plane hit, so she never made it downtown.  The day was filled with phone calls, assuring friends and family that she was okay.  A year later, I was dating a member of the FDNY - my now husband.  I spent some time with him that day, at his firehouse. Later, I went to meet my sister and some of her co-workers for drinks, as they celebrated being alive.
As the years go by, there will be more and more children growing up who were not alive on 9/11/01 or were too young to remember.  We must never forget, we must make sure they know about the heroes that day.  That they know good men and women risked their lives - gave their lives - to save others.  That they know that good does triumph evil.  And that they know that life goes on, people love again, laugh again, live again, life renews.   

Friday, May 10, 2013

Annual Hibernation Day

Mother's Day is this coming Sunday.  It can be a hard day for women who wanted to be mothers and aren't.  I have learned that hibernation is often the best way to deal with the day.  So many people wish "Happy Mother's Day" to every female that has reached child bearing age.  I guess they figure it's safer that way.  They don't mean to hurt those of us who aren't mothers, but it can hurt quite a bit.  I had thought this year that I might go to the gym - safe enough really.  But, just a few minutes ago here at work, someone wished everyone in our office a Happy Mother's Day - then came back and asked me "Kate, do you have kids?"  Now, I sit here, ready to cry.  Unable to finish the banana I just started, unable to think about much else but hibernating on Sunday.  If I venture out - I may not have any issues.  I may be in a mental frame of mind ready to deal with anything - but I know it's safer to plan for the worst.  I have a lot of knitting to do and the house could use a cleaning, so I think that's where I'll be.

Wednesday, May 08, 2013

"Get over yourself"

Ever want to say that to someone or mulitple someones, but you can't because it wouldn't be politically correct - but it really should be said to them?  That's how I'm feeling right now.  You know - like when the guy next to you is saying "Oh, I broke my toe.  Poor me, I broke my toe."  And you want to say "DUDE!  You broke your freaking pinky toe.  Joe broke both legs and an arm.  GET OVER YOURSELF!" 

So, right here, right now on my little blog - you don't know who you are - but I'm rolling my eyes and privately thinking "Oh my God.  Get over yourself woman.  Seriously."

I feel so much better now.

Tuesday, May 07, 2013

knitting update

Trying to post some pictures here.  This is my St Enda, an aran sweater.  I'm very happy with it.  The yarn is soft and warm.  I like the cables - first time I did a closed end cable.  Very cool.  I really enjoy cabling.

Here's a hat I did with some leftovers, sent to my sister who loves to wear hats.  I wish the picture wasn't so washed out - they are great colors.

I think that's up to date for finished projects.  Working on a few right now, planning the next ones.

Monday, May 06, 2013

The middle finger's other uses

There are more things that the middle finger does than just flip someone off.  I learned this when I sprained mine over the weekend.  It was a gardening mishap.  I was moving some daylilies to try and pull out the onion grass there when a big fat bumblebee came flying out.  In my haste to escape the dangerous bee (I am very, very, very afraid of bees), I managed to sprain my left middle finger.  Gripping doorknobs is not easy.  Griping my fork to anchor my meat so I could cut it was paintul.  I found that lifting some things - like my ipad - are impacted by the pain.  Worst seems to be hooking my bra - I'm not sure what role exactly the middle finger plays in that, but it hurts to do it.  Fortunately, it does not impede my knitting.  And fortunately, or not, I can still flip someone off - with the other hand.

Monday, April 29, 2013

Holy Cow it's been a while!

So, the Aran sweater was finished - at 11 pm the night before the St Patrick's Day Parade.  Or so I thought.  I did a final check the next morning and saw one end not woven in.  Fixed that, wore it to two parades - so proud, will post finished pictures soon.  Now I am working on three projects.  One is a cardigan with an interesting stitch pattern - the name of the pattern is Neon.  It's got kind an openwork pattern - a nice spring/summer sweater.  I'm also working on a Quill shawl - the colors are gorgeous.  I knew they were nice, then yesterday I was sitting outside knitting and in the daylight they are even prettier.  Must take pictures!  The last project is a travel project right now - socks for A.  It's a simple pattern, k3, p1 ribbing.  Great travel knitting - no need to keep referring to a pattern.

In other news, my brother got engaged - very happy about that.  His fiancee is terrific.  Boomer is happy that it is getting warmer out and he can go lay out in the yard, work on his tan.  Life is generally good.  I've just been a bad blogger.