Thursday, January 07, 2010
I have a personal theory that so much of life is about choices. Sometimes you hear that we, as a generatio, are worse off financially than our parents' generation was. I don't think it is necessarily true that we are poorer than our parents. I think we have chosen to seek more at our age than our parents did. For example, my parents did not own their own home until I was 5, my brother (the eldest) was 10. I know families that owned home before they had children or when their childrne were younger. That's a choice they've all made. A choice that comes with a cost - benefits as well - but definitely a cost. We also choose the kind of cars we have, the vacations we take, the clothes we buy, etc - how nice they are, how frequently we replace them - all at a cost. We choose a lifestyle. That may be a lifestyle that can not be maintained with only one parent working. So, both have to work and you have to find childcare - mostly likely pay for it. Sometimes you have to choose whether or not to have another child based on what it means you can afford in terms of the lifestyle you want to have or even the ability to afford the basic needs you have to provide for the children you already have. Sucky choices - but choices none the less. Some people acknowledge having had to make those choices. On the other hand, there are those who don't seem to acknowledge that it's their choices that put them where they are. And then there are those who did not make the choices that put them where they are - outside circumstances forced them there. But, those are not the norm. Most of it - you made a choice that has put you here. You could make different choices. They may not be palatable to you, but it could be done. I just wish people would more frequently recognize that they made choices that put them where they are. Like me. I chose not to try to have children on my own before marriage. As a result, I was trying desperately at 40+ to have a baby - not easy. A & I also chose not to borrow money to adopt a child. We felt that the cost of repaying the loan would mean having a family that couldn't be a family because we had to work extra jobs to pay for getting a family. So we are childless and at a certain level, it was a choice.