Monday, July 30, 2012

I haz a sad

Actually 2 sads.  One if for me and is kind of selfish.  Maybe not just kind of, maybe really truly, but please don't judge.  I found out that a friend is pregnant.  This is a friend who had professed to not want kids.  This is a second marriage for both her and her husband and he has custody of his son from his first marriage.  She would talk about not really wanting kids, but being cool with the stepson.  In that circle of friends, it was good for me to have a fellow childless person.  Even though she has the stepson and is a good mother to him, she and I could together be the ones who hadn't gone through labor, childbirth, diapers, etc.  Now, I'm alone.  I'll be the only one on the outside looking in now and that makes me sad.
My other sad is for me, for my whole family - but most especially for my favorite aunt.  My uncle has been diagnosed with lung cancer that has metastisized to his bones.  It's not good.  I don't know how much longer we'll have him.  Truth is, the last few years, he's been a grumpy gus and no fun to be around.  But I still love him and don't want to lose him.  I'm so sad for my aunt.  They've been married over 50 years.  We all know that someday we will all die, but how do you deal with it when you know it's coming.  How do you face things like his birthday this week is probably his last birthday.  How do you cope.  On the other hand, maybe it's a blessing to know it's coming, to be able to talk about things, to have time to express your love, to get to say goodbye.


AlwaysJoy said...

Awe Kate!
The first one isn't something to be judged on! You have (more than) every right to be sad. Mom used to say "don't tell someone how to feel" hugs to you. And as for your uncle - it sucks! Cancer is an asshole :-(

Brenna said...

I'm so sorry for your uncle's illness. I hope however long he has he's comfortable.