1 step forward 2 steps back

I went to a funeral for a former co-worker on Friday. He also happened to be the father of some women I went through grammar school and high school with. I was doing a bit better mentally. I think it helped that I was going to be on my turf, in the presence of co-workers. The funeral was in my hometown, at my old church, old friends of mine and my parents would be there. So - after the funeral, I go to greet my father's best friend. His wife (my 3rd grade teacher) sees me first says "It is you! He said there was someone here who looked like you." Then he says to me "How's your baby?" Kick me in the gut. He thought that the last time he saw me I was holding a baby. I was just a little stunned. What could I say? "My baby's dead. Never even made it to being born"? Nope - just kind of stammered out a "no baby, got a dog though" answer. So then - back to work - dealing, go home, send what I think is a funny e-mail to my boss and a couple of other people, have pizza with A. Life goes on - right? This morning, I check my work e-mail. Well - one of the people I sent the funny e-mail too wasn't who I thought it was. It was a friend of my boss. I don't think she was mad - but she really didn't need to hear about the board member who picked his nose at our meeting and my wondering if it was caught on TV. So there went a pin in my little balloon of self-confidence. Tomorrow will be a better day. I'm depending on it.

And then a little sunshine all my own

A. leaves me a message to call him. He's going to stop by the office and drop something off for me. He was at the mall. Went by the Ann Taylor Loft store. He bought me a skirt, twinset and shoes. He was just thinking of me, that I had been working a lot and maybe needed something new. A little sunshine in the day just for me.

From the outside looking in....

Ever feel that you are on the outside looking in all the time? I do. I think I've been that way most of my life. I've never been the favorite child, the popular kid in school, the person people want to be best friends with. I'm liked, I'm loved, but I've never been special - except to A. I sure hope I'm special to him. I'm feeling like I'm on the outside a lot lately. I don't have any real close friends. I have friends - but no one to whom I could turn and cry my heart out too - and worse - no one who would want to turn to me and cry their heart out. The women to whom I was closest kind of went to someone else in a friendship divorce. (You have to go back to last March when I found out my alleged friend was going around telling people about my miscarriage.) So - I have friends, but they always have someone else to whom they are closer. I have a decent figure, but I could be and want to be thinner. I have nice clothes, but I am not the snappiest dresser. I can't have kids - so I can't ever even be a cool mom. Not having kids makes it hard too - there are not many women my age that I know that don't have kids. I'm just kind of blah - the middle aged, middle of the road, middle child. Nothing special. On the outside looking in.

The start of a new year

Yeah - okay - I know that the new year started several weeks ago, but for me, it started yesterday. Sunday was the one year anniversary of my miscarriage. I had a not so good weekend, but better than I expected. I don't think the dog knows what to make of people crying, but he did his best to be my buddy. I kept myself busy with household chores, watched old movies and ate whatever I wanted. One thing I wanted was ice cream cake and whipped cream.

So yesterday started my new year. I am back on the South Beach diet. I want to lose 10 pounds. 15 would be great. I want to be healthier. Walking the dog helps. I usually get out to walk him at least once per day, often times it's twice. When I get the DVD player hooked up again, I will start up with pilates again. I may even get a new one. I want to focus more energy on what I can control and let go of that which I can not. Tough order, but doable I think.

Jail Break!

When A and I are both working or otherwise out of the house, we crate Boomer. He's lately gotten clever and learned how to move his crate. I came home one day to find it several feet to the left of where it had been placed. The next day, while A was out he also moved it forward. Then there was Thursday. I come home, open the door, go into the dining room to find....an empty crate. I start calling for the dog and running around the house. I found him at the top of the stairs (2nd floor) laying there, looking like he knew he had been bad. Luckily, there were no puddles, no destruction of any sort. Unbelievably, he had managed to pop open one of the doors to the crate. So - A and I decide to give it a shot and start leaving him out of the crate. Fast Forward to Saturday afternoon. I take him out to do his business before I have to leave for a couple of hours. He will not pee. So - I'm not comfortable leaving him in the house not having peed, so I crate him. Two hours later, I come home - not only is the crate empty, but it's on it's side. Guess he was really pissed! He had only managed to pop one of the latches. I can't believe he squeezed himself out through such a small space. This time, he hung out all the way up on the third floor - again with the guilty look. Looks like the crate is history. I'm wondering if putting the crate on its side was a bit of revenge for what I made him wear on Saturday morning to take his walk. Mind you - it was cold and we had had snow, so I was worried about ice control products being on the sidewalk.

We really didn't want purple booties - but they are color coded by size. Poor Boomer!

The Boom Doggie

For the longest time, A would say to me "I want a puppy." My response was always "when we get a house." Well, we got the house this summer. So - the puppy was soon to follow. A really wanted a lab. He had the breeder picked out and was researching the bloodlines, trying to decide on a litter. Then, one of my employees told me about a lab that was a Katrina rescue and was at a shelter nearby. So - I tell A, he goes online to look at the dog, decides he likes this dalmation they have better (must be a fireman thing). So, we go visit. The dalmation is very hard for me to handle on the leash, but we talk to the shelter people about adopting him. Then A sees this cute little mutt (sorry Boomer) in a pen nearby. They bring him out to meet us. He's very sweet, very easy to walk on the leash and affectionate. They told us he was about 2 years old. We didn't take him home right away because we were going to be leaving town for 4 days in a week and didn't think it would be fair to bring him home and then desert him right away. So - we get back from our trip and go pick up our dog. He is named Boomer after the former Yankees pitcher David "Boomer" Wells. He is an American Bulldog/Pit Bull mix - and we think some other things thrown in there too. Turns out he was only about 10 months old when we adopted him - so still a puppy - and you can tell! He's such a love bug! He would lick your face off if he could and he loves to snuggle with us. If A and I try to hug and kiss in his presence, well, he just gets his little body right in there. He's a very smart little boy. He has learned to sit at intersections before crossing on his walk. He knows where all the other doggies live on his walking path - and cries when they are not out to say hello. His big negative? He thinks that squirrels are evil beasts and he must chase them. He loves stuffed animals - so much fun to rip them open and take out their innards! He chews through rope bones too. We are hoping that as he gets older, that will pass. But - better the stuffed animals and rope bones than our shoes or furniture! He is good about getting on the furniture, except for our bed. Right now, we are trying to break him of the idea that he can sneak up in bed with us at 4 am! Anyway - he's such a sweetie. We love our Boom Doggie.

Happy New Year

It's been a while - I hope to post some dog pictures and house pictures soon. For now - just a couple.

More pictures

We finally got the "big" computer hooked up, so I've been able to upload pictures again. These are some before and after pictures of the yard. There are a lot of Rose of Sharon bushes - or trees - and several regular rose bushes. There are lilies of some sort and one of the neighbors said there are daffodils. Then there were the weeds. We've gotten them out best as we can, but I know we need to do more. I'll be planting some bulbs soon - tulips and maybe crocuses and daffodils. A is trying to get the grass going in the front. It's a challenge! So - the first two are before....



and then a few after.....

We're in!

We moved in two weeks ago. We're still unpacking! And that doesn't take into account the stuff in storage. I'll have to take some more pictures - but I really wanted to wait until we had everything organized. Last weekend was just so much fun - Ernesto turned out the lights. Tropical Storm Ernesto cause major outages in our area. A was off at a funeral on Long Island for the FDNY Lieutenant killed in a fire earlier that week. We didn't get the power back on until late Tuesday afternoon. Not fun people! It didn't help me that A was working much of that time. And my mood was not too good as this past week was my due date for the baby I lost in January. That weighed heavily on me all week. I'm doing better with that now.

We really like our neighborhood. The people we have met are all very nice. There are a decent number of young - 5-9 yrs old - kids in the neighborhood. The street is quiet enough that they can play in the street. The other night, they were playing football across our front lawn and the neighbors. A & I sat on the front porch eating our dinner and watching the kids. We do have to get the dining room all set up so that we can eat like normal people at a table! We still have other work to do in the house, like painting trim, but we're getting there. The first time A showered, the tub took forever to drain. I had known from the house inspection that it was slow - but didn't know it was that slow. We tried all sorts of uncloggers - nothing was working. Then we thought that the stopper was stuck in the closed position. Plunging seemed to help get the water down faster, but wasn't solving anything. Then - don't know what I did - but one morning I was plunging away and the water started moving down faster. I fixed it. Don't know how - but it's fixed. I am scared to flip the stopper on for fear that will cause a problem again. I intend to buy one of those plastic stoppers. They are not the best - but they work. I think that I'm going to compile a list of "things to be done" and keep track here - see how fast we knock things off the list!

It's not a jungle anymore!

I don't know how much you'll be able to tell from the pictures, but this past week, A. has done a lot of work on the yard. The front hedges are now neatly trimmed. The weeds are gone, the Rose of Sharon trees (or are they bushes) have been trimmed. Things are looking good. On the inside, the floors are done and the carpet is in. It looks great. Moving day is Thursday. We can't wait!

Getting There!

I've been out of town, so I haven't posted any updates. Last weekend was busy. The rooms are all painted. Most of the trim is done. We focused on getting the low trim done as that had the greatest risk of getting paint on the floors. Any of the upper trim that was not finished will be done very carefully. The work on the floors being finished up today, so soon I'll have pics of that too! Then carpet in the attic on Monday and we're almost all set. Wednesday they come to put in some new phone jacks - hopefully that will be possible. I can't believe there was only one jack in the whole house. So - these are pictures of the living room and stairs. The living room is all taped off so we can do the trim. The last is a picture of the master bedroom. I really like the color we chose. It's soft and calming, but not too girly.

Coloring my world

For 12 years, I have lived with white or off-white walls. I miss color. I have really enjoyed being able to pick out the colors for our new house. I can't wait to be living life in color once more! The living room is done except for the trim, after my several day obsession with the walls. I couldn't decide if 2 coats had been enough to cover the yellow, so I finally just painted a 3rd coat. The guest bedroom walls are done. I have one coat on the master bedroom walls - ran out of light today - and I am loving the color. So - some before and after shots!

Goodbye Stripes!

Well - sort of - some of them. The dining room walls are done. All that's left to do there is the trim. When looking at the walls from certain angles, you can see where the stripes were. That's a result of the different kinds of paint that was used to create the stripes. Rather than do the kind of work necessary to get rid of them, we decided to live with that. It doesn't hurt the look of the room at all.

I also regrouted the tub yesterday. In cleaning it - it was kind of gross - some of the grout came out. It looks so much better now. I'm going to look into sealing it - but I think I have to wait a few days.

Next project? Paint the living room.

Slowly but surely....

We're getting there. The pictures don't show it, but the ceiling in the dining room is done. They do show the bottom of the wall being done. Who knew that it would take so many coats to cover yellow with red!
A. did a lot of yard work today. It is such an improvement over what it had looked like. One before and two afters....

The first small steps

So - this is our house. We won't make any changes to the outside for a while - except in terms of landscaping. So far, we've prepped almost all the walls for painting - washed them down, filled in cracks, etc. I was washing them down in the middle of this heat wave with no a/c in the upstairs. I was wiped out last night. We got the a/c going upstairs, so it's much better now. Today, we put the first bit of paint on the dining room walls! Here are some before and during pictures. No afters yet.

The ways in which we will show our love for our house...

...are going to be many. We're going to paint the rooms. The downstairs rooms don't need that much love - but oh the upstairs! I can't believe how badly stained the carpet in the guest room was. Good thing we planned to rip it up anyway. We didn't plan to rip up the carpet on the 3rd floor, but that needs to go too. I think it may have been the cat's domain. We had planned to paint everything but the kitchen. The bedrooms are what really need it most. While the previous owners weren't pigs, they clearly didn't care about what they spilled in the bedroom. It's kind of weird because the downstairs had been re-done so beautifully- not necessarily to my taste, but very attractive. The upstairs was neglected. Not nearly as badly neglected as the yard though. There is grass in the left section (if you are facing the house) of the front yard. The rest of the yard is green, but it's not grass for the most part. The gardens are overgrown and have been unattended. There's going to be lots of ripping out and cutting down going on. They - I should say we - have this beautiful hydrangea that has been overgrown with other less attractive bushes.

Today's plan is to go clean the lower trim in preparation for repainting it. I will also paint samples of the colors we have chosen for the dining room & living room to make sure we're happy with those choices. They will be the first rooms painted. Then I've got two colors to try out in the stairwell. Hopefully one will work and we'll do that after the living room.
Tomorrow's plan is for A. to rip out the carpet and tape up the walls so that I can start painting on Tuesday.

Pictures of what will be

Okay - I'm going to try and post pictures of some of the furniture we've picked out. This is the stuff for the living room. We're not sure yet if we'll be able to go with the chaise lounge. Depending on space and the layout we go with, it could also be a loveseat or a big chair. The sofa is very comfy and big enough for A. to lay out on. The wood is kind of dark, which will go with the coffee table and end tables we have currently - if we decide to keep them.

So - where was I?

Maybe if I switch to titles for my posts I'll be better about blogging? Doubtful - but it could be fun anyway.
Well - a lot has happened in the last 20 days. We are homeowners! We decided that since we wouldn't be closing the week of the 4th, we would head to the Cape for a little R&R. We got there Thursday night, planning to stay until Sunday or Monday, depending on the weather. Then - Friday afternoon we get the call. "Can you close Monday at 3:30 pm?" YES, YES, YES! Of course, we recognize that the seller is not exactly moving out right away. So the deal is going to be, she pays our per diem interest until the end of the month, at which time she gets out or pays us big bucks per day. We don't know the specifics of the deal at this point, but yes, we will close.
Fast forward to Monday, closing. We finally get to the point of the closing costs - after signing our lives away 4 dozen times. I notice the "rent" is not quite what we expected and rather than a few bucks back, we have to pay $177. Not a big amount - but it's the principal of the matter. We go out into the hall to discuss this with our attorney - actually it's our attorney's partner who is not familiar with all that has gone on with this deal. And I must mention that the seller's attorney is such a loser that he has to borrow another firm's conference room for the closing. So - our attorney is saying well - we decided that was a fair amount since they are doing you a favor by closing early. HELLO? FAVOR? I pointed out to him that, by contract we were supposed to have closed on the 3rd. His partner, our real attorney, said that the seller was in breach of contract. Okay - go back in - lawyer's get their heads together again. Now the loser lawyer is saying it should stay where it is because the seller couldn't move out on time because she couldn't get started on her construction on time because our mortgage commitment letter got to her late, so she couldn't get her financing. Um HELLO! The time from our offer to the planned closing was just over 60 days. No way that they were waiting on our commitment letter getting to them to start construction. Tell me what house takes only 2 months to build? Please. That lawyer was such a sleeze. We agreed to just call it even with us not paying any more at closing, which meant we came out about $200 on the losing side. Not worth losing the house over.
So now - she needs to be out by Sunday the 30th, or she pays us $200/day. I thought I heard her say that the movers were coming on the 27th - so she may be out even earlier. By Saturday - but definitely by Sunday - we should have the keys to our house!

Then the fun begins. We've picked out paint for each room, furniture for the living room and a new bedroom set. I'll have to find pictures and post them! So I'll be taking some time off work to paint my little heart out. Then we'll have the floors done. I also plan to strip the top of my dining room table - it was my grandparent's - and refinish it. I actually did this about 10 years ago, but I never finished the leaves. I would prefer they match so, I will do it all again. I'm debating on my dining room chairs. We have four now. I would like at least 6. My debate is do I stick with the style that I have - or something similar - or do I go for a new style. If I go for a new style, do I get 6 new ones or just two? Last dilemna - for now anyway - is the bathroom. The tiles on the tub and wall are beige. The floor is more white with these mauve diamonds in the center. We have rugs in navy, cream and I think there are green ones in storage. We have a really cool shower curtain - it's from the New Yorker. If you remember the New Yorkistan cover they did after 9/11, that's our shower curtain. That has a lot of color. I don't know what to paint the walls. Right now, it's khaki and either a dark green or dark blue stripe. The stupid mauve diamonds on the floor are the problem. I'll figure it out or rip out the floor! :)

July 5, 2006

I can't believe it's been so long since I have blogged! Wow!

I should be posting about how we have closed on our new home and we spent yesterday painting and how I'm going there after work to paint some more. But NOOOOOOOOOOOOO! Our sellers aren't ready to get out. They now want to wait until the end of the month to close. I'm presently waiting for a call from our lawyer telling me how his discussion with their lawyer went. I'm not known for my patience. This is trying.

We are going with the friendly approach right now. We are going to say "okay, we'll work with you, but you need to compensate us for the costs we are going to incur as a result of not being able to get in when we planned." At best, it's probably going to cost them at least $2,700. We could reduce that if they would close by Monday. We would then consider renting the house back to them for the month, if all the insurance details could be worked out.

I could handle whatever is going to happen, if I could at least plan for it. If I knew what it was. Tell me we're closing August 1st and I can deal with it. Because then I can figure out what to do next.

May 22, 2006

I'm slacking again. Life has been busy. We're buying a house. I'm still scared something will go wrong - but it's looking good. I actually started packing yesterday. Today I need to write to our landlord and tell her we're leaving. I've started picking paint colors. Nothing is definite yet, but I have ideas.

We went to Montreal for my professional association's annual conference - my first while on the board. My trip there was relatively uneventful - if you don't count the limo being 20 minutes late. Good thing I called and said "where are you" or he would have been later. As we are driving there, he comments on it being an international flight and had I allowed enough time to check in. I start to worry - hadn't really considered Montreal as being international. Silly me - just because I could drive there doesn't make it a local trip. As it turns out, I was fine. I wish I could say the same for dear husband A. A was in Atlantic City for his own conference, taking the train to Philly to then fly to Montreal. I booked it all through United - just told the web site "I want to go from here to there" and let it do its job. Well - computers can't think. They put him on a flight from Philly to NYC to Montreal. Two different planes. Two different airlines. He did not have enough time to collect his baggage, get to the next terminal and check in. He ended up having to fly to Toronto, then to Montreal, arriving at 1:30 in the morning. I must say, he was very even tempered through the whole ordeal.

The conference was fun. I didn't have much time on my own. I had meetings and activities that I had to attend. That was different from me - but very worthwhile. I'm truly enjoying being on the board, meeting some terrific people. There was the incident where I lost my purse and was mildly freaking out (A. may disagree about how mildly) but I found it so all was well. Now I just have to turn in all my receipts and get reimbursed!

Mother's Day was a tough one for me. I was in a serious funk. It didn't help that, while at the conference, yet another colleague told me that he and his wife were expecting. Then I come back to the news that a co-worker's wife had given birth. Am I just more aware of all these pregnancies or is there a baby boom for everyone but me. It's hard sometimes to see pregnant women, especially if they look about as far along as I would have been.

My mom is sick. We don't know what's causing it. She goes for another test tomorrow. She's nauseous all the time. My greatest fear is that her cancer has returned. It's hard too with her being so far away. I can't get up there to help her out right now and probably won't be able to do so for another few weeks. It's frustrating.

It's beautiful weather here today and I'm not going to miss a minute more. I'm off to walk.