Wednesday, March 25, 2009
I've got to get over it...
Seriously. I've held a grudge for almost 27 years. I need to get over it. I realized that this morning - but I'm not sure I can do it. Here's the deal...when my father died, I was in college. The girl who had been my best friend from high school never called, never wrote - nothing. She never sent a single word of sympathy my way during the most devastating time of my life (at that point anyway). I've been angry with her ever since. I rarely see her, but when I do, it's all I can do to grind out a "Hello Melissa" (note that she was always Missy - so I'm being extra bitchy by calling her Melissa.) Today, I was reading a note on facebook about how one of our high school teachers is retiring. Missy posted about how her daughter is a sophomore now, and has this teacher for homeroom and her son is going next year and she was hoping he would get this same teacher. I read that and got angry. Why does she get to have kids and I don't. I know it's not her fault I can't - but I was - hell am - so pissed that this woman who couldn't show me the littlest bit of kindness gets something I so dearly want. I know - life is not fair and except for this one fault, I'm sure Missy has led a good life. I know I need to get over it. It was 27 years ago. But right now, I'm just going to wallow.
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2 comments:
Wallow away. These kind of slights run very deep. Let yourself feel it... denying yourself that only makes the hurt last longer.
....on the other hand, holding on to your grudge only punishes you. Yes, her silence during a difficult time hurt you, but that was a long time ago. You were both young. Maybe she really didn't know what to say and instead of just communicating that, she froze up, avoided you. The wrong way to react, but who in life always does the right thing or even knows the right thing to do? 27 years is a long time to feel the hurt for a slight that probably had no malice in it at all. Just another way to look at it.
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