Monday, November 07, 2011

When Good Things Happen to Bad People

There is a book titled "When Bad Things Happen to Good People" that really helped me come to terms with my miscarriages and our inability to have children.  The book really helped me to see that there is no rhyme or reason to who is blessed with a series of wonderful events in their lives and who is visited with sadness and tragedy.  Just like bad things happen to good people, good things happen to bad people.  It can be hard to accept.  You see that bitch ending up with the 4BR, 2.5 bath house, with a bonus room and 2 car garage on 2 acres.  And there you sit in your 3 BR, 1 BA cape, no garage and 1/12 acre of land.  The witch has 2 children and is planning a 3rd, you have trouble getting pregnant let alone staying that way.  Her husband has a fabulous well-paying job, your spouse has been unemployed for 9 months.  She doesn't have to work.  You have taken on a second job to help make ends meet.  Why is it that she gets all the good stuff and you get shat upon?  First question - has she really gotten all the good stuff?  Let's face it - she's a bitch.  Starting right there I see that she's not a happy person.  Something is making her miserable.  (Fight the urge to say "GOOD!")   And she has a nice house filled with things, but you have a house filled with love.  And the kids - well, I've learned this from talking to friends and colleagues - it's not all sunshine and roses.  And sadly, a lot of suffering that people do over issues with their kids is done in silence.
Now, of course, maybe the bitch just really does have it that good and it's just an example of how life works sometimes, how life isn't meant to be fair.
The moral of my story is - it's not worth any angst over why the bitch has what appears to be a better life than you.  Looks may be deceiving.  And if thing are as they appear, there's nothing to be done about it - not legally anyway - and it is in no way a negative reflection on how you live your life.  And wouldn't you still rather be you anyway? 
PS - If it sounds like I'm trying to convince myself - well you might be partly right.


Rudee said...

As a hospice nurse, I get unusual glimpses into the private lives of all kinds of people and I'm here to vouch for the fact that things aren't often as rosy as people may paint them to be. It's rare for me to meet someone who is truly happy with the way life turned out for them (even in sickness). We can choose to envy or even hate people who seem to have all the breaks in life, but it's often a waste of time and effort. Time, after all, is a very precious commodity.

Christine said...

Looks are deceiving indeed. For example, not many people know about the battles I went through with my young son and the enormous anguish I suffered as a result. Likewise with a friend of mine. This friend suffered mistreatment and betrayal from her hubby and there are people who envy her who do not know her hidden life! So in life, it's like that. We tend to assume the other person has it better than us when in reality it could be quite the opposite! Well, I guess we might as well be happy with what we have and who we are.