Monday, December 17, 2007

My brother is a shithead

I think I've mentioned this fact before. He wasn't born one, he became one. Marriage to the right person will do that to you. Her ability to turn him into a shithead was aided by the fact that my brother is a ball-less wonder. I don't think that he is literally ball-less. I'm sure Mom would have mentioned that at some point. Anyway, I digress. The latest event evidencing my brother's shitheadedness is related to my mother's 75th birthday party. Allegedly, shithead, bitch-in-law and children could not attend because bitch's family was hosting a 50th birthday party for her that same night. So - let's go from there. Bitch calls my aunt and tells her that oh - it is so bad that the sisters (that would be me and my sisters) let them know about mom's party too late for them to come to the party, their party plans had already been made. UM - hello shithead brother. we have written evidence - written by you - that proves you knew about Mom's party back in September, which is when we decided to have it. Couldn't let you know any sooner - and over two (2) months in advance is not freaking enough time? Even if it wasn't - was it really necessary for your bitch wife to call our aunt and say, basically, oh those sisters are so awful, it's their fault we are not attending. How about this one, shithead? Why did it never occur to you that Mom was turning 75 and that we should do something? Why didn't you take the initiative and suggest a party? Oh right - you are a shithead.
So - now - it's one month later. Cousin K has invited everyone to his home for Christmas Eve. Now - K is none too happy about brother not coming to Mom's Christmas party. So - when brother calls him to say he can't come to Christmas Eve, K pounces on the whole party thing - says "hey, where was my invitation to bitch's birthday party?" (well - he used her name - but you get the idea). Well - this is where it gets really good and brother's shitheadedness shows itself once again. The answer was "well - that ended up not happening, we just went out and had a nice dinner - just us." Now - we don't know who just us was - but - THERE WAS NO 50TH BIRTHDAY PARTY. These kind of things just don't fall apart last minute. They could have come to my mother's party. Yes, it would have been a 4 hour drive - but one of my aunts came from Florida for it - he couldn't drive 4 freaking hours?!?!?! And then he says - just to top it off - "we'll have to get together for a beer and have a talk" as if he is somehow going to explain why, despite there being no conflicting party, they didn't go to the Cape for Mom's party. I can see it now - it will somehow be the fault of me and my sister's. I don't think he realizes that his gig is really up with most of the family. They see what he and his wife are and they don't buy the excuses - but no one says anything to them outright in order to protect my mother.
Now - I've invited that asshole and his wife for Christmas. I so desperately want to call him and tell him to forget it, don't come. Please note - that it's been 2 weeks since I invited him and he has yet to respond. It didn't get lost in the mail - we talked on the phone and I said "please come" - so I can't wait to hear the excuse for not calling with an answer - if he ever even does. Anyway - I digress again. I feel like I"m in a position where I can not uninvite him because that would then require an explanation. Either I make up an explanation that makes me look bad - or I tell the truth and my mother is hurt. She doesn't deserve that.

Let me tell you this right here and now. When my mother passes away (God willing many years from now) I plan to deliver a eulogy. At that point - if he hasn't changed his ways, it's no holds barred. I will consider the fact that we will be in a church when I plan what to say and I may keep the remarks such that I don't actually name names, but I will get my say and if the two of them don't get what I'm saying in church, I'll make sure they get it afterwards. And then, I'll have no more to do with them. They will cease to exist for me.


A said...

The headline of this post should win an award.


Lauren said...

I love the headline too.

I think you should be able to just pack up certain family members in a box, stuff them in a closet and forget about them.