Questions I would like my dog to answer

• Considering that you love to go for walks so much, why do you run away when I try to put the leash on you?
• Why do you think that going outside to do business is worthy of a treat everytime?
• What do you do when we're at work?
• When we go for walks, do you somehow think that this is your last chance to poop ever?
• When you sniff the trees, hydrants, etc, do you recognize the scent?  If you saw one of the dogs that peed there before you later, do you think "I know you, you use the hydrant at the corner of Elm and Main all the time."
• What would you do if you ever actually caught a squirrel?
• Or a bird?
• Why do you like to walk through leaf piles?
• What do you dream about?
• What is it about the garbage men that makes you do nutso?