Wednesday, April 20, 2011

I forgot the best part!

I have been cleared of being a terrorist!  Happened on the way to Vegas.  Yup.  I got picked at random going through security to have my hands tested.  Apparently at my airport, on that day anyway, the person picked in the 8 am hour gets his/her hands tested.  Mine came up positive.  The TSA agent at first blamed glycerin in hand cream.  Boy was he wrong.  The second test said it was dynamite.  Dynamite.   Do you believe that?  I tested positive for dynamite on my hands.  So next, they test my purse and carry-on bag.  Purse is cleared.  The bag tests positive.  Oh shit!  What now.  A is sitting nearby laughing.  I think he's texting people too - telling them what's going on - enjoying it really.  I'm not worried as I know I'm not a terrorist, but wondering why the heck I'm testing positive for dynamite.  BTW - at this point, A does not know what is going on, only that I'm getting tested.  So, now they put me behind the black curtain!  I've got to be patted down.  The female agent puts on gloves, tests the gloves to be sure they have nothing on them before the pat down.  As a quick aside - I sure wish I had the contract to provide the TSA with gloves because they sure go through a lot of them.  I think at least 4 pair were used in my search.  So anyway, she does the pat down, then tests the gloves again and this time I came up clean.  I'm cleared and can go get on the plane.  A and I go into the waiting area now and sit.  I tell him that I tested positive for dynamite and express my amazement at how that happened.  Turns out - it's all his fault.  He has been sent off to various schools by the FDNY as part of his training.  There was Live Agent School and Radiation School and yes - you guessed it - Bomb School.  When he left that school to come home, he had been warned to carefully clean whatever he was wearing and carrying on to the plane.  We think that some residue got on his duffel bag which was checked luggage and at home had been sitting near my carry-on bag that morning.  I had moved it aside, likely then getting the traces of dynamite on my hands and into the bag.  Can you freakin' believe it!

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