If you've read my blog for a while, you know that I tried, but couldn't have children. That was devastating to me. There are a lot of people who don't get how painful it is. How could they - they've never experienced anything like it. There are people who don't understand when you stop trying. For some, it's because they are afraid of what you represent - that it may be their fate as well. There are, of course, people who do get it, even if they have had children - with or without medical assistance or adoption. And there are people who try to get it, maybe they don't - but they try. There are some wonderful women on a board I used to belong to who fall into those last two categories and the support I got from them, I'll always appreciate.
So - to the moment I'm having. I made a commitment a while back to find happiness in my life despite not being able to have children. I was determined that I would have a happy and fulfilling life. I did not want to wallow. Not too much anyway. I think I have done a good job of finding things in life that make me happy. I've learned - for the most part - to stop longing for the life I planned and to love the life I have. But with all that, I've never looked on myself as having succeeded in the world of infertility. After all, I'm still infertile. But today, I read a post in a blog I follow that has made me look at it differently. I have succeeded. Infertility did not defeat me. I may not have defeated infertility, but infertility did not defeat me. I am living happily. I am living a good fulfilling life. I went through the dregs of artificial reproduction treatment and miscarriage and came out the other end. I may not have come out where I hoped, but I did come through. Thank you Mali for helping me see that. For a good read - go to http://nokiddinginnz.blogspot.com/2012/04/real-success-stories.html