Tuesday, April 24, 2012

Sharing experience, trying to help

The wife of someone I know recently suffered a miscarriage.  When the husband first announced her pregnancy and I found out she was only 6 weeks along, I did an inner cringe and thought that he shouldn't be sharing the news so soon.  Sadly I was right.  We talked yesterday, she's having a hard time.  Well, who wouldn't be having a hard time.  Sadly, her closest female relatives don't get it and are bumbling with being supportive and falling into age old traps - like thinking it would be good to be around babies.  Oy.  So, he came to me to see what I had done, to whom had I turned for help.  I gave him the name of the therapist I saw.  I offered to be available to his wife.  I was honest about the general suckiness of their reality.  The sad thing, for me, is that I can offer support, I can offer advice, I can listen, but I can't make their pain go away any faster.  And I really wish I could. 

1 comment:

Jen said...

It isn't easy finding others who understand what it is like to go thru a miscarriage and most people just expect you to "jump back into your old life and move on". I am hoping for her sake she will reach out to you. I know for me finding others who could relate made me feel not so alone. I cringe too whenever anyone tells me of their pregnancy in the early weeks.
It is something we will never forget...it will be forever with us. Also, so nice to hear of a husband who wants to seek out help for his wife.