Wednesday, January 23, 2008

Hope

Hope is a wonderful thing. Or is it? I recently read an article in the NY Times that referred to a study where they said that some times hope could be an obstacle to emotional recovery. I can see that. Every month, I hope that I will get pregnant. I can see how that hope has kept me from getting over the fact that I will probably remain childless. I would really like to move on and deal with that, be okay with that, but it's not a done deal - there is hope. So - as long as there is hope, I won't get over it. I don't think I should then. I am realistic. I know the odds are against me - but I don't think I could be happy long term if I felt that I didn't give it every possible chance. So, one day I will go through menopause and hope will be gone. I will then recover emotionally from my infertility- I hope.

What else do we hope for? I had actually been thinking about blogging about hope since I read this article. At the time, I was hoping the Giants would beat Green Bay - but I didn't know how realistic that was. My hopes were fulfilled. This time. Will they be fulfilled in just under two weeks? I hope that we beat the Patriots.

We hope for so much, in all aspects of our lives. Sometimes, all we can do is hope. Other times, we can give our hope a little support with actions. I can hope to lose weight but if that's all I'm doing - it's not likely. I can hope to get pregnant - but if I'm not having sex - well - not only will my husband be unhappy, there's no chance of pregnancy. It's not enough to hope when you can get out there and do something to make your hopes come true. You hope you get a better job soon? Well - get that resume out there and pound the pavement! You hope you lose weight by bikini season? Get on the treadmill, get off the chocolate doughnuts. I hope the Giants beat the Patriots, so I will wear my lucky Giants shirt, drink out of my lucky Giants glass and sit in my lucky "watch the Giants win" spot in the living room. Okay - so that stuff really won't help the Giants, but I'm superstitious so it will help me.

Hope is what tells us sometimes that tomorrow will be a better day than today, so we keep going. So yes, sometimes hope can be an obstacle to emotional recovery, but overall, life without hope just is impossible to imagine.

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