Happiness is....

....a short work week....fried raviolis
....days getting longer
....a silly, cuddly puppy dog
....3 short work weeks in a row
....a successful first attempt at making a rum cake - I see more of those in my future

Happiness is....

 Today - some of my favorite things....

• My husband's smile.  I remember the first time he smiled at me and I realized that smile was for ME. 
• My husband's hugs.  There is no place better than in his arms.
• My dog's soft coat and wagging tail and big brown eyes. 
• Rachmaninoff & Tchaikovsky
• Bruce Springsteen's version of Santa Claus is Coming to Town and Jon Bon Jovi's version of Baby Please Come Home
• Jon Bon Jovi in concert. 
• New England in the fall
• sitting on my porch on a nice summer morning, reading the paper, drinking coffee
• football
• Some smells - cinnamon, vanilla, pine trees
• Roses
• Freshly cut grass
• Slipping into a bed made with freshly laundered sheets
• the sound of the ocean
• Mint chocolate chip ice cream
• filet mignon
• butter cream frosting
• Marching bands
• Pretty, soft yarn
• Turning pretty soft yarn into something someone will enjoy
• a good book
• chocolate, preferably dark, never white
• the smell of coffee

Heading the wrong way

My scale is still being a little wonky, but there was no hiding from the fact that I gained this week.  Of course, I had Chinese again last night, so I think the gain is not really as bad as it looks, but I'm up almost a pound - or a whole pound, depending on which reading you believe and depending on how much water retention I have from dinner last night.  So, besides last night's Chinese food, why the gain?  Total lack of control this week.  There was a Christmas breakfast at work and I enjoyed the goodies.  Then there were the platters of cookies and boxes of candy that were dropped off that I enjoyed.  I didn't drink enough water.  And I didn't track my points.  I didn't eat much fruit either, instead snacking on weight watchers snacks which though low in points, still add up.  Now, this week is Christmas.  I expect that to be my only challenge this week.  There shouldn't be a lot of goodies at work.  We may have dinner with friends on Thursday, which could prove to be a challenge, but I think is manageable.  Truth is - it's all manageable, if I want to manage it.  I can eat what I want as long as I keep the portion sizes within reason.  I will be glad when this week is over though.  Sticking to the plan will be a lot easier after the holiday season is done.

Mondays and other things that annoy me

Mondays are just so harsh.  A week starting on Tuesday would be so much nicer.  Mondays just annoy me, unless I have it off.

People who are constantly happy, cheerful and chipper annoy me.  I once had a dental hygienist who was cheery at 7 am.  I couldn't take it.  Those kind of people just annoy me.  I think it's because the cheeriness is fake.  Maybe they really are that freaking happy all the time, but I'm not convinced.  It's the phoniness I hate, not the happiness.  If it was genuine happiness, I would be okay with it, but let's face it, we all have our bitch moments, don't try to pretend otherwise.

Singers who do the vibrato thing on almost every note annoy me.  Josh Groban, I'm talking to you.   His version of O Holy Night is lovely, but his version of I'll be Home for Christmas sounds like it was recorded while he was driving down a cobblestone road. 

Drivers who get in the left lane then fail to drive at the going rate annoy me.  I notice that most of them are New Yorkers.  If you see a driver with plates from another state doing it, odds are they are a native New Yorker.  See, I'm from Connecticut.  We drive fast.  At least down in southern CT that is. 

Smarmy quotes as part of your e-mail signature annoy me.  Or uplifting quotes.  Or "empowering" or "motivational" quotes.  BARF!  In addition to being annoying, unless you are a motivational speaker, I think it's a bit unprofessional as well.  Just your name please. 

The blatantly pious annoy me.  Yeah Tim Tebow, I mean you.  I have no doubt he believes as deeply as he states - but does he really need to be in your face with it?  He reminds me of the parable about the two men praying in the church - one saying basically "look at me God, I tithe, I fast, I'm not like those other guys" and the other one saying "please be merciful to me, I'm a sinner".  I would much rather hang out with the second guy, thank you very much. 

The Giants playing like crap yesterday really, really annoys me.  It's been a tale of two teams this season.  You have the team that beat the Patriots and the Cowboys, then the team that lost to the Redskins and the Eagles.  I'm thinking that the Colts and the Vikings are wishing the Giants were on their schedules this year!  Now, we have to beat the Jets and the Cowboys to make the playoffs.  Well - if the same Jets that played yesterday show up next week, we might have a chance.  I really, really, really don't want it to be the Jets who end our playoff hopes.  Now that would be REALLY annoying!

Later this week - a few of my favorite things.

Happiness is....

....happy holiday memories.  As I was heading home the other night, I heard the Muppets version of "The Twelve Days of Christmas" on the radio.  It reminded me of my college days when we came up with "The Twelve Days of College."  I went to women's college, run by nuns.  Some nuns lived in the dorms.  Freshman year, my dorm mates and I sometimes ran afoul of one of the nuns on our floor.  And so, one December night, we made up a song about Sr Alma and the things she had said to us.  Thus was born "The Twelve Days of College."  I can't remember them all now - but they included...

• Don't mess around with me (First day of college)
• Girls in bed by eleven
• Lights out at seven
• Don't you ever sleep
• There are no ghosts (a reference to an old college myth)
• When do you work
• I need my rest
• None of you made the Dean's list (my personal favorite)

After freshman year, our relationship with Sr Alma improved.  We grew up, she mellowed a bit.  It actually got so good that junior year, when most students would move out to one of the other dorms, a large group of us decided to stay in our dorm, on Sr Alma's floor.  When my father died junior year, she was one of the people to whom I turned for comfort.  She had lost her father a couple of years before and understood what I was going through.

We had a lot of traditions at our college that revolved around the Christmas holiday.  One was the Christmas Dinner.  The Seniors' Little Sister Class, the Sophomores, would plan the menu and the entertainment for the dinner and they served the Seniors at the dinner.  It's important to note that this was a small school, with one dining room, where we all ate together, nuns included.  So at the dinner my senior year, our old 3rd floor of Fontbonne group (we did all move out Senior year to one of the other buildings) got together and helped provide some of the entertainment.  We got up there and sang "The Twelve Days of College" for our old friend Sr Alma.  She loved it.  She laughed and nodded, recalling the things she had said back then.  Happy memories!

I'm calling it even

My scale was being a little odd this morning.  I usually weigh myself a couple of times to be sure I've got a good reading.  Today didn't go so well with that.  I had anything from 147.4 to 148.6.  It was moving a lot while I stood on it and the final readings were varying.  It may be time for a new scale.  At the very least a new battery, since it really didn't want to turn on!  So - why would I have stayed stable or maybe gained or maybe lost just a little?  Well, virtually no exercise for one.  I've been dealing with a sinus issue all week and except for a lot of walking Saturday, I got no exercise.  Saturday was the Christmas party at the firehouse, so I definitely ate things that I shouldn't have, but I did plan for that.  I didn't eat as much fruit this week and I feel like I didn't drink as much water.  I've found over the years that I do better with weight loss when I drink enough water.  Another factor - Chinese food for dinner last night.  I tend to retain water after eating Chinese.  I may weigh myself again tomorrow morning just to see what happens.  This week's goal will be to drink plenty of water.  I will have a challenge Friday night, as we are going to a Christmas party and I expect to drink my points.  I'll be happy to stay stable this week all things considered.

Happiness is....

....finding out just how good the dealership you got your car from is.  Yesterday, my driver side windshield wiper started acting funny while on the highway, not making good contact, looking wobbly, then at about 70 mph, it flew off.  If you imagine I was a little freaked out, you are right.  I got myself to work - wasn't far.  When the rain stopped, I hightailed it on over to the dealership.  They were shocked - no way that should have happened with a factory installed wiper.  My salesman happened to be in the service bay when I pulled in.  He took a picture of the wiper stem.  When I asked the service guy about whether or not it was under any warranty, he said no, but Joe (salesman) took care of it.  Now, I may not go back there for my next car if I'm ready to get my dream car (Mercedes Benz) when this lease is up, but if it's not going to be the Benz, you can get I'm going back to there and you can bet I'll buy from Joe.  I know a windshield wiper is not much - but it's just the way they took care of me from the day I walked in to buy the car.  I suppose they do have 3 years in which to screw up and lose my future business, but for now, I'm very happy.

Didn't expect that! In a good way!

I'm down 1.4 pounds this week!  Yay for me!  That puts me at 147.8.  I was concerned because I was not very active this week.  Work interfered as did being a bit under the weather.  I've been pretty good about staying close to my daily points value most days, maybe a point over or so, with only one day where I really dug into those bonus points.  So, this is good.  I will have one big challenge this coming week, with the firehouse Christmas Party on Saturday.  No booze, but sweets and other fattening foods.  I'm going to try to stay reasonable with what I eat on Saturday - not denying myself, yet not indulging myself either.  Again, I will try to be more active, but I fear this little sinus thing I have going on may hinder that.  I would like to get to 147, but I think that's a big nut, so I'll be happy with a half pound loss this week.

A Creature of Habit

That's me.  I'm a creature of habit.  I have routines.  I'm comfortable with my routines.  I don't like people messing with my routines.  It's things like the order in which I get ready for work in the morning, parking in a certain spot, taking a certain route. Unfortunately, I'm sometimes disproportionately upset over forced changes to my routine when compared to the actual incident.  Probably the worst is when someone parks in my favorite spot at work.  If I'm in the right state, that can just throw my whole day off.  So, why is this now a topic of my blog?  Well, I have a regular routine related to annual event that is upcoming and now I found out that I won't be able to follow my regular routine.  The event can be a difficult one for me, but I stick it out because there are people I see at it that I love and enjoy being with and I don't get to see them often enough.  Following my typical routine allows me time alone to prepare, to decompress in advance, to get to a low-level, stable state.  It helps put me in a place where I can handle the difficult part to the event.  Being with people I enjoy provides the rest of the balance I need.  I had already found out some time ago that my getting to be with the people I enjoy to hang with will be impaired or restricted.  Now, I have found out that I will not be able to follow my typical routine to prepare, to decompress and have that calmness I need going in.  I'm afraid I'll be keyed up from the start, anticipating bad things (because I have a tendency to borrow trouble), I'll be on edge working hard to hide my discomfort and it will end up being a miserable time for me.  I'm feeling a little trapped already and I'm afraid it will get worse.  I feel like there's nothing I can do about it without being seen as an unreasonable, selfish, cold, crazy bitch.  I need to find something that will help me deal with it.

Well how about that! Losing can be good!

I did better than expected this week - lost .6 pounds.  My goal for the week had been to stay stable.  I did a little better than that!  How did that happen with Thanksgiving and the last tailgate of the season?  Well first, I'm going to guess that when I weighed myself last Tuesday, maybe there was a little extra water weight.  I had eaten Chinese the night before, never a good thing right before weigh-in.  So, I'm guessing I took a little off in those couple of days before Thanksgiving.  Next, although I ate quite well at Thanksgiving dinner, I only ate two meals that day, so I probably stayed pretty close to my daily point allowance.  Same thing with Saturday and the tailgate, I really only ate two meals.  One was bigger than normal, but I likely stayed close to my daily points allowance.  I also got some walking in during the week and I'm sure that helped.  This week's goal is to lose again.  I'll be happy with 1/2 pound.  Another goal for this week is to get some exercise in.  The good news is that I don't have any real challenges for a while.  That should help out.

Happiness is....

...balancing the bank rec.  And I'm not happy.  Since my assistant retired and his replacement doesn't start until Monday, one of the things I have had to do is the bank recs.  Well, the big one just is not being friendly to me.  UGH!

Weekly weigh in

I'm up a pound.  I expected that getting on the scale.  I was hoping to be pleasantly surprised, but I knew I had done a lot of damage this week.  I was good up until Friday night.  We went to dinner with A's brother and his fiancee.  I had 3 glasses of wine, fried zucchini, too much of the entrees and then tiramisu for dessert and a cannoli.  Follow that up with tailgating on Saturday - beer, muffins, egg sandwiches, doughnuts, etc.  I think the worst though was on Sunday, when I could have gone right back on track and chose instead to eat the leftover muffin from Saturday and leftover cannolis from Friday.  I'm sure it didn't help that I really got not exercise in this week.  I did get back on track on Monday.  We'll see how Thanksgiving week goes.  My original goal for this week was to lose 1/2 pound and to stay stable for the week of Thanksgiving.  So, I'm 1 1/2 pounds behind.  I don't plan to make that up this week.  I'm still shooting for staying stable for a week.  That will require restraint at the table on Thursday.  I also want to get to the gym a time or two. 

30 years is not so long ago when you love someone

My father died thirty years ago today.  He is in the back row, last man on the right.  I wish I had more pictures of him scanned.  30 years seems so long ago, but it doesn't feel like long ago that my father was here with us.  I was a daddy's girl.  I think that's in part because when I was about 2, my father had to have back surgery and couldn't work, so my mother went back to work.  Daddy stayed home with me and was my primary caregiver.  My father liked to think we all looked like him.  Truth is, 3 of the four of us look very much like our mother.  My older sister does resemble Dad more.  We do have some of him in us, of course.  We three older children all have his brown eyes.  My younger sister's nose is more like Dad's than Mom's.  I inherited his lack of a butt.  My sisters got his wavy hair.  My brother's hair is very dark like Dad's.  Daddy was quirky.  He was pretty much color blind - or at least he appeared that way judging by his choice in outfits some times.  As a teenager, I once sent him back to his room to change when he was headed to some official function as First Selectman.  All I remember was that it was bad and there was orange involved.  He used to wait until my sister and I came home from school at Christmas to do his Christmas shopping for Mom.  He tried to get each of us to choose a college in Florida so he could come visit us.  He loved to do projects around the house.  Our first house had a brick wall he built, a sidewalk to the back door, a wishing-well to hide the garbage cans, a dry well for the gutters, a basketball court, a bridge over the creek running through the backyard, a large porch with a built-in bench and an extended covered front entryway that no other house in our development had - all because he built them.  He saved the motor from every appliance that died.  He was a good dancer, but gave up trying to teach me to dance because I always tried to lead.  He loved Julie Andrews.  "Gee she's pretty" he would say about her.  He liked to tease the dog.  He would fall asleep watching tv, but if you changed the channel, he would instantly wake up and say "I was watching that."  He didn't cook much, but would grill himself hotdogs for lunch.  Like every day.  Once, when our dog was sick, he would come home to check on him - thinking we didn't know he was doing that.  Such a softie.  He couldn't deal with his daughters pouting or just being quietly sad.  It was the easiest way to get him to do something you wanted that he had said no to earlier.  He had a distinctive walk.  I can still hear him coming down the hall.  He used to stand with his feet pointing outward, arms crossed and he would rock on the balls of his feet.  My cousins - his brother's sons - all do it too.  It is weird when I see them doing it from behind because they look like him.  He loved my mother.  So much.  He was proud of her accomplishments.  I will never forget the day he came home from the hospital and told us she had cancer.  He had trouble getting it out before he started to cry.  He was man enough that he could cry in front of his children.  I have to say we got our love of sports equally from Dad as from Mom.  But it was Dad who would come out and play ball with us.  "How about you let your old man take a shot?"  he would say when we were out playing basketball.  He liked to play golf - not that he was that good at it.   He was a bit of a picky eater.  Okay he was a really picky eater.  One of the traits I got from him was the ability to know, without even tasting something, that I would hate it.  But every once in a while he would try new things.  He was religious.  During Lent, he would walk from his office to church every day at lunch hour to go to Mass.  When we were little, our parish had a 6 am Mass on weekdays during Lent.  He would get us all up and every day we went with him.  He was an honest man and an honorable man.  I am so lucky to have been his daughter.  I think he would have loved my husband.  I can just see how the two of them would have tackled projects together.  And he would have loved his grandchildren - teaching them to ride a bike, throw a ball - he would have doted on them.  I like to think that he looks down on us and is proud of his family.

Happiness is....

....two things I'm happy about right now.  One is I'm nearly finished with a knitting project.  If you are on Ravelry - this is the jacket I made.  http://www.ravelry.com/patterns/library/monas-jacket.  All I have left to do is to make the buttons, sew them on and put snaps on under the buttons.  The other thing I'm happy about is that it is Wednesday already!  I'm not wishing my life away, but I was afraid this week was going to go by oh so slowly - and it hasn't!  yay!

Weekly Weigh In

I just weighed in at 148.8.  It's not as large as loss as I've seen for the first week in past go-rounds with Weight Watchers, but I think that this is because it's a more liberal plan.  It's been very easy to follow.  My main change has been healthier snacking.  I've been taking fruit and veggies to snack on during the day.  I think the biggest thing is that it's made me once again be conscious of portion sizes.  A bit of a test this weekend will be tailgating at the football game.  But I barely touched all of my extra points this week, so I think I will be okay.  If I can lose 1/2 pound to a pound for the next couple of weeks, then stay level through the holidays, I think that I'll be in good shape.

Happiness is..

....autumn in New England.  Yes, I live in New York these days, but I work in Connecticut, so I'm home in New England 5 days a week.  Plus, one of my favorite things about autumn in New England is watching football - and we do that in Connecticut too!  It's the colors of the leaves, the smell of the leaves,  and the crispness of the air that I love.  If only autumn didn't precede winter it would be darn near perfect!

Trying to lose weight, yet again

The gaining part is so easy, the losing part less so.  I'm sure this is not healthy for me - I lose 10-15 pounds and eventually gain it back over the next year or two.  About eighteen months ago I had gotten down to a nice weight, gained a little over the summer and then come fall decided that I would enjoy the holiday season.  Boy did I enjoy the holiday season!  Now, I'm looking to drop that weight again.  I weighed 151.2 this morning.  More than I did coming back from vacation!  Damn!  Ideally, I would like to get down to 140.  I am restarting weight watchers.  I'm going to try to do it online and use this blog to keep myself accountable.  I think I will also make my husband be my conscience.  I'm not sure what workout strategy I'm going to use, perhaps heading back to the gym, maybe doing tapes at home.  The gym can be difficult as some days I need to get home to the dog and the gym is between work and home.  I would love to try out A's gym program - it has really worked for him - but it is expensive and since we need to be saving to go to Italy next year, I think I can find a cheaper solution to my workout issues.  Anyway, back to being accountable, I plan to post my weight in this blog each Tuesday morning.  Hopefully if I commit to that, it will force me to follow the plan and get on track.  One of my motivations is the clothes that I can't wear right now because the waist bands are too tight!  That is my reward - a revived wardrobe with little investment.

When Good Things Happen to Bad People

There is a book titled "When Bad Things Happen to Good People" that really helped me come to terms with my miscarriages and our inability to have children.  The book really helped me to see that there is no rhyme or reason to who is blessed with a series of wonderful events in their lives and who is visited with sadness and tragedy.  Just like bad things happen to good people, good things happen to bad people.  It can be hard to accept.  You see that bitch ending up with the 4BR, 2.5 bath house, with a bonus room and 2 car garage on 2 acres.  And there you sit in your 3 BR, 1 BA cape, no garage and 1/12 acre of land.  The witch has 2 children and is planning a 3rd, you have trouble getting pregnant let alone staying that way.  Her husband has a fabulous well-paying job, your spouse has been unemployed for 9 months.  She doesn't have to work.  You have taken on a second job to help make ends meet.  Why is it that she gets all the good stuff and you get shat upon?  First question - has she really gotten all the good stuff?  Let's face it - she's a bitch.  Starting right there I see that she's not a happy person.  Something is making her miserable.  (Fight the urge to say "GOOD!")   And she has a nice house filled with things, but you have a house filled with love.  And the kids - well, I've learned this from talking to friends and colleagues - it's not all sunshine and roses.  And sadly, a lot of suffering that people do over issues with their kids is done in silence.
Now, of course, maybe the bitch just really does have it that good and it's just an example of how life works sometimes, how life isn't meant to be fair.
The moral of my story is - it's not worth any angst over why the bitch has what appears to be a better life than you.  Looks may be deceiving.  And if thing are as they appear, there's nothing to be done about it - not legally anyway - and it is in no way a negative reflection on how you live your life.  And wouldn't you still rather be you anyway? 
PS - If it sounds like I'm trying to convince myself - well you might be partly right.

Happiness is....

....wearing hand knit socks.  Okay - yes, I know it's Friday, Friday is usually picture day - but I did that already this week.  So, today, I'm wearing my first pair of hand knit socks.  Well - my first finished pair.  The Jaywalkers I started a couple of years ago are still on the needles.  This is the second time I've worn these socks and I just love them.  I must knit more!!  I should note that the first time I wore these was to Rhinebeck (for non-knitting readers it's a big sheep & wool festival in Rhinebeck, NY) and the socks were the only hand knit item I wore.  These socks are comfy and squishy and just feel so nice on my feet.  It was just a plain sock pattern, knit on #2s using Madelintosh Sock in Ink.  Love them!  I have decided that after my Christmas knitting is done - keeping it simple this year btw, my lunchtime knitting will be devoted to socks. 

Monday pictures - why not - it snowed in October, didn't it!