The Good, the Bad and the ugly

I'm going to start with the bad. I went out to dinner with my cousins at their club on Friday. For dessert, I ordered the chocolate lava cake. It's one of those molten chocolate things, with the cake on the outside and the melted chocolate on the inside. It was served with vanilla ice cream. What a disappointment. The cake was not very good - it had this kind of skin on it and was just altogether too bland for a chocolate cake. The melted chocolate was not very warm and the scoop of ice cream was a kind of puny scoop. I ate about half.

Onto the ugly. Having read the above, you might guess that the ugly would be the number showing on my scale. You would be right. Diet starts tomorrow. How much trouble can I get in tonight!!

The good. It's here. It's time. That little sign that says "summer is coming before you know it!" Yes, it is Opening Day! I just heard the Yankee song on the radio. What a happy little tune.

Boomer, the Bad Dog

Yesterday afternoon, while at my in-laws, my SIL N. was taking her dog out to do business. Boomer snuck around her and got out. He had been watching the squirrel activity off and on during the day - so I think that's where he was headed. I heard N yell to me, went running out and realized what was going on. I tried the emergency recall - did not work. A later told me I did it wrong. I was supposed to yell the magic word "Here" and then run away from him, so that he would follow me. My bad. Anyway - Boomer ran to the neighbor's house, around the side yard, jumped off a wall, through pricker bushes, back to in-law's house, around another neighbor - all over. I would yell "get over here" and he would stop running away from me, would head back to me - but at a mad dash so that I could not catch him. In retrospect, I think he thought it was some huge game. I was scared. He was just running like a madman - or a maddog - and it was an unfamiliar neighborhood. He's only been there a couple of times. He finally went running up a neighbor's driveway and between their fence and garage. Fortunately, there was only one way out and one way in. He realized that, saw me standing at the entrance and kind of sheepishly came up to me. As we brought him back to the in-law's, A was dealing with the disciplining of him and saw he was bleeding. I just wanted to cry. MIL was crying, SIL was shaking. I think I was the only one who saw where he had been and really knew how badly he could have been hurt. He had a scratch on his belly and he skinned his chin. He didn't seem upset - except for having been caught - only the people were upset. I was stressed the rest of the day and all the way home. All I could think of was how fast he got away and how we could have lost him. I love that little boy.

Happy St Patrick's Day

I'm wearing green - well teal. I haven't got anything green in work attire. I'll have to fix that for next year. Although next year, I hope to be at the parade in the city watching A march with the FDNY pipe band!

It's Monday. Mondays generally suck. This one doesn't suck too bad - but it's still a Monday. I weighed myself this morning. Bad idea. I'm seeing the after-effects of the parade I went to Saturday. Okay - it wasn't the parade that did it - it was the bar-hopping afterwards. Let's just say I had fun. :)

As Promised - Evidence of Spring

Ignore my lovely garden hose in the last picture.
I also have daffodils, tulips and hyacinths pushing their stems up. Spring's coming soon!

Monday

I heard that the state of CT may pass some legislation banning people from "blocking the box." YAY! That's one of my driving pet peeves. That and people who drive in the left lane but fail to go faster than those in the middle or right lanes are my biggest driving pet peeves. At least today.

Girl Scout cookies are evil. Okay - they aren't - but I have no will power when it comes to them. Thank God they are not available year round. I think I need to eat my stash before I start weight watchers at work.

I plan to go for a walk at lunchtime today. I'm still following my "do one thing to be fit each day" and since I've been eating Girl Scout cookies this morning, I thin I need to do two today! I did pilates this morning. I was going to take the dogger for a walk - but it was like 17 degrees out. I couldn't do that to the poor animal. Okay - I couldn't do that to me - the heck with the dog.

Spring is coming. I have proof. I will try to post it tomorrow. So - for now - Happy Monday!

March Madness/March Magic

I wonder sometimes what the neighbors think when I take the dog out to do business. There I am sounding, I think, quite mad. Not angry mad, crazy mad. "Do poops, do poops, do your poops, pick a spot, good spot, good spot, come on do your poops." And on it goes. They must think I'm nuts. It doesn't help that I have a dog that has "preferred pooping areas" aka "the landing strip." Boomer is slightly picky about where he poops. He has a preferred area and we need to clear the landing strip on a regular basis or the little bugger just won't poop. He does have a secondary landing strip - they are all on the periphery of the yard - which is good. It limits the chances you'll accidentally step in poop - but boy is he a finicky little bugger.

As for the March magic - I may have to take pics so you'll believe me - but - my flowers are starting to come up! I have crocuses, tulips, hyacinth and daffodils starting to sprout. It's so exciting. I wonder when the stuff I planted last fall will start making an appearance. I have to order some plants for the other side of the house, which is this year's gardening project. I need a mix of sunny and shady. I will take pics as the project progresses.

Temptation

It's sitting right behind me. 6 of them. Calling my name. Saying "Eat me! Eat me!" Girl Scout cookies. I'm not sure how I'm going to make it through the day without ripping open a box. Or two. They are not part of my "do something to be fit each day" resolution. But - I'm past the wedding where I wanted to fit into a dress and I'm starting weight watchers at work again soon. Maybe I could do this? No. Must. Be. Good.

just thoughts

I had my big interview. I think it went well. The Chairman told me I did well. I don't know if he was just being reassuring or if I should take that as a sign. A had been told by someone who has some insight into the process that I was the leading candidate going into this year. If that's true - well - I don't think I've done anything to jeopardize that, but others may have increased their value and passed me out. And in the end, I know it may hinge on factors that have nothing to do with me or with the other candidates. I could get the presidency - or lose it - based on the need to fill the slot with a certain profile.

While A and I were away, it snowed here. Two thoughts come out of that. One - it's great to live in a nice neighborhood where your neighbors clear your sidewalk for you if you can't. Two - always keep a snow brush in your vehicle.

I don't like the little planes where, to look out the window, you have to look down.

Parents should sit with their children on planes instead of sitting together and putting the kids in a separate row.

Charleston, SC is a lovely city. I want to go back.

I've got the best husband in the world. Okay - he's not perfect - but he's pretty darn wonderful. I wouldn't trade him in for anything.

Stressing

I'm good at stressing. I can stress over truly stupid things - I'm talking irrational stress. I would say that A has gotten pretty good at handling me when I stress. He is learning when to back off and just let me stress, when to appease me and when to coax me down. Sometimes when I stress, something silly will relieve me and it worsens the stress if I don't get my something silly. But - I know that it is usually better to try to get over the stressor item, but sometimes I think - just do what I want and I'll feel better faster. Friday night, we went to a concert. Our seats were in the nosebleed section. I'm afraid of heights. Welcome high stress levels. It was dark when we went in, so it was hard to see our row number. A had trouble at first getting that I needed to stop looking for the seats and have him find me and guide me there. I could not deal with the stress of finding our seats and being so far up I swear it was only a few steps to heaven. Now - was I rational? Hell no. Could A have resolved it quickly? Hell yes. Was it wise that he didn't? In the long run, I would have to say probably yes.

I've been stressing about an upcoming interview. I've applied to be President of my national professional association. As I was writing this post - just finished the first paragraph - I got a call with bad news. A colleague of mine - someone I really enjoyed - passed away last night. It was not expected. The interview - eh - I see how silly it is to stress over it now. I probably will start again Thursday morning, but right now - if I didn't get it - I'm still here, still have a lot ahead of me. Don's death puts a little perspective on it.

The evil snooze button & Lenten resolutions

I swear - it's meant to torture me. I don't fall asleep as easily or as deeply as A does. So, when he has to get up early and he asks me to set the alarm, I always have a sense of dread. I know what's coming in the morning. The alarm will go off. It wakes me, not him. I nudge him awake. He asks me to hit the snooze button. He will go back to sleep - snoring even. I will lay there, tired, but unable to sleep. About 7 minutes later, we do it again. About 20-30 minutes later, he gets up and I can sleep until my alarm goes off. My extra sleep time though is now down to 15 - 30 minutes.

On another note - it's Lent. I'm not a good church going Catholic anymore, but my religion is still a big part of me. So - what to do for Lent. As kids - it was give something up. For many years as an adult, I would give up chocolate. That is a big deal for me. Can't do that this year. Anyway, in recent years, I have tried to do something more positive. So this year, A & I jointly made a "get fit" resolution for Lent. My plan is to do something good for me fitness wise everyday. By that I mean take a walk, do 20 minutes of pilates, lift weights, stuff like that. I'm also toying with idea of trying to get to work on time as a Lenten resolution. I'm always about 10 minutes late. But - when I have meetings until 10 at night - it's kind of hard to get myself up and in early the next day. We'll see.

I haven't added to my "life list" in a while - but this week, the Giants inspired me. I would like to go to the Super Bowl some year. I should say - I don't necessarily have to go to the game although that would be awesome. I would just like to be in the host city and go to some of the side events to experience some of the hoopla.

No Asterisk Needed!

Giants win the Super Bowl! OMG OMG OMG! Just some rambling thoughts from the game...I screamed when Plaxico caught the winning TD pass, poor A had just chased the dog into the dining room and missed it....how did Eli get out of that sack...how did David Tyree make that catch....the defense was incredible....Tom Brady has got to be one hurting puppy today...Parade Tuesday...the Giants have never had a ticker tape parade .....can't say I'm sorry to see Belichick lose....so - you trademarked 19-0? hahahahaha hope it cost a lot of money.....how about Boss stepping up at tight end after Shockey went down....is Bradshaw incredible or what - they way he wrestled that fumble away from a guy twice his size....was it a good luck omen for former Giants Phillipi Sparks's daughter to sing the national anthem?.....she's good....first call after the game was to my sister that lives and works in Boston....we just screamed on the phone for a bit....I have loved the Giants forever, this is so sweet, so sweet.....Strahan and Toomer will get their rings, I'm glad....Coughlin smiled!....Osi Umenyura is funny - and good...figures Plaxico would catch the winning TD, the guy always contributes...and how about Plaxico playing on a bum ankle all season long and a sore knee in the Super Bowl...and Ross with a bum shoulder....I was hoping for a couple of picks, but I'll take the sacks...18-1 sounds good to me, no asterisk needed

14 things

Okay - I'm doing something called a meme? I got off a friend's blog - it looked fun so I'm doing it. It has 13 things in it. So why is my title 14 things? Well - because I had something else I wanted to say today too. Do you ever get surprised or stunned when you see how shallow some people are? There is someone in my world in whom I have seen a certain level of shallowness before - but today she said something revealing another level of shallowness that just really surprised me. There's not much you can do about that. We all have our moments where we are incredibly shallow, not a one of us is perfect. Okay - maybe Mother Teresa was, but we're not talking about her. This one just kind of hit me - made me go Wow.
Anyway - on to 13 other things ...
1. Who was your FIRST date with?
~ Well - I had a blind date in college for a school dance, otherwise - get this - I was something like 22 and it was someone I met through the Young Dems!
2. Do you still talk to your FIRST love?
~ occasionally
3. What was your FIRST alcoholic drink?
~ A beer - don't recall the brand
4. What was your FIRST car?
~ Let's see - the first one that was mainly mine was a 1972 Chevy Impala - yellow. That thing was a tank. The first one I bought myself was a Camaro. MISTAKE! That car had serious design flaws.
5. Who was your FIRST grade teacher?
~ Sister John Joseph, SSND
6. Where did you go on your FIRST ride on an airplane?
~ Ireland.
7. Who was your FIRST best friend and are you still friends with them?
~ Claire. No.
8. Who was your FIRST kiss?~ I really don't remember! Couldn't have been all that good a kiss!9. What was the FIRST thing you did this morning?
~Besides turning off the alarm? Went upstairs and read my e-mail.
10. What was the FIRST concert you ever went to?
~ ELO
11. FIRST foreign country you went to?
~ Canada
12. When was your FIRST detention?
~ I’ve never gotten a detention
13. What was the FIRST state you lived in?
~ Connecticut.

Who to vote for?

Crap! I don't know who I to vote for in the primary next week or November. I like Hillary Clinton, but I don't really care for the idea that 2 families will have controlled the White House for the past twenty years if she wins. Barack Obama is okay, but I just don't feel he has the experience yet. He's been a Senator for 3 years. I would have been happier if he had waited another 4 years or so to run. I guess he felt he needed to get in there while he's a hot property. In another 4 years, he may not have been. I like John Edwards, but he doesn't seem to be getting anywhere and I hear he may be dropping out. I was seriously considering him as a viable alternative to Hillary and Barack. BTW - I'm a Dem.
As for the Republicans - can't stand Giuliani - didn't see why he was considered viable in the first place. I like McCain - but he's so old. I'm having a hard time getting past that - but he may be who I end up voting for - and I have very rarely voted for a Republican. I mean like - twice in the nearly 30 years I have been voting! I've very rarely found one I felt deserved my vote. Anyway - I digress. Mitt Romney is plastic, phony, and just plain nauseating.
I guess, in the end, next week I will be voting for Hillary Clinton. I may vote for McCain in the fall though.

Random Thoughts

• I am habitually late for work. It's just 10 minutes or so - but I just can't seem to get here on time. Today was worse than normal. I went to start drying my hair and looked at the clock and it was already the time by which I should be leaving the house. Oh well.
• I arrived at work and the elevator was on the ground floor, door open, waiting for me. I don't usually take the elevator unless I'm carrying a lot of stuff - but this morning, it seemed like it was waiting for me.
• When I wear a thong to work, I usually keep a pair of panties in my briefcase, just in case. You never know when the feeling of having floss up your butt will get to be too much.
• It's very sweet when you are laying in bed watching TV and the dog curls up next to you and rests his head on your shoulder. It's not so sweet when you go to brush your teeth and come back to find he's just flopped his body into your spot in the bed.
• Lately Boomer has taken to finding pieces of paper laying around and chewing them. What's up with that!
• Boomer doesn't like it when the landing zone (aka where he likes to poop) is full of poops. We must do poop pickup more frequently.
• The library in the town I work for is the best library in the state, if not the country, if not the world. And the library cult members - I mean staff and board - tell you that every chance they get.
• I'm kind of tired of hearing about Tom Brady's ankle. Yeah, it may have an impact on his ability to push off when passing, but it's just not as big as if he broke his throwing arm.
• Go Giants!

A little sad today

It was two years ago today that I lost my baby. It's a sad day. I'm much better than I was last year, but I think I will always be a little sad on the anniversary. I loved my baby so much - had such great hopes. I'll never know if it was a little boy or girl - but I always thought it was going to be a little boy. I'm very lucky. I have a wonderful husband and a mostly wonderful dog, but still, I lost something precious two years ago. So, I'm a little sad today.

I love my dog, but...

He bit me today. He's normally a pretty good dog. Some of his antics can be annoying, but his behavior with people and other dogs is friendly and playful. He goes to the kennel and is in doggie daycare and plays all day long with other dogs and is fine. We have been in our home and other people's homes with other dogs and he is fine. The problem is when he's on his leash and sees another dog and the other dog starts barking at him. When that happens - he goes nuts and is hard to control. When A and I are walking him together, we can sometimes avoid the unpleasantness by distracting him - breaking the cycle. We do that sometimes with treats. Today on our walk, first dog to bark at him was in a yard. Boomer cried, but then nudged me as if to say "I'm being good, give me a treat." He was being very good, I told him so and gave him a treat. I thought we had done it, trained him to be good when other dogs barked at him in exchange for a reward. (Boomer is very food-motivated.) We were further in our walk, almost home when we see a dachsund on a leash. Dachsund starts barking. I try to distract Boomer with a treat. That does not work. I try grabbing the scruff of his neck he twists away and bites me. He didn't break skin, but I think that's only because I had a winter jacket on. He actually left a mark. I was so upset, I did something I should not have done, but I spanked him. I know that's not the way to train him, but I needed to get his attention and break his frenzy. It did work. I then told him how bad he was. I came home, called A and then cried. We are going to get him private lessons with the owner of the kennel we go use. We've been told he works wonders with dog aggression. I hope he can work his magic on Boomer. I love my dog, but I can't deal with this behavior.

Hope

Hope is a wonderful thing. Or is it? I recently read an article in the NY Times that referred to a study where they said that some times hope could be an obstacle to emotional recovery. I can see that. Every month, I hope that I will get pregnant. I can see how that hope has kept me from getting over the fact that I will probably remain childless. I would really like to move on and deal with that, be okay with that, but it's not a done deal - there is hope. So - as long as there is hope, I won't get over it. I don't think I should then. I am realistic. I know the odds are against me - but I don't think I could be happy long term if I felt that I didn't give it every possible chance. So, one day I will go through menopause and hope will be gone. I will then recover emotionally from my infertility- I hope.

What else do we hope for? I had actually been thinking about blogging about hope since I read this article. At the time, I was hoping the Giants would beat Green Bay - but I didn't know how realistic that was. My hopes were fulfilled. This time. Will they be fulfilled in just under two weeks? I hope that we beat the Patriots.

We hope for so much, in all aspects of our lives. Sometimes, all we can do is hope. Other times, we can give our hope a little support with actions. I can hope to lose weight but if that's all I'm doing - it's not likely. I can hope to get pregnant - but if I'm not having sex - well - not only will my husband be unhappy, there's no chance of pregnancy. It's not enough to hope when you can get out there and do something to make your hopes come true. You hope you get a better job soon? Well - get that resume out there and pound the pavement! You hope you lose weight by bikini season? Get on the treadmill, get off the chocolate doughnuts. I hope the Giants beat the Patriots, so I will wear my lucky Giants shirt, drink out of my lucky Giants glass and sit in my lucky "watch the Giants win" spot in the living room. Okay - so that stuff really won't help the Giants, but I'm superstitious so it will help me.

Hope is what tells us sometimes that tomorrow will be a better day than today, so we keep going. So yes, sometimes hope can be an obstacle to emotional recovery, but overall, life without hope just is impossible to imagine.

How 'bout them Giants!

I do so love my NY Football Giants! I do so hate the Dallas Cowboys. No victory is ever as sweet as one against the Cowboys, particularly when we're not supposed to win. Win we did yesterday! It was a great game. The defense just stepped up in the second half - did what they had to do. The secondary had been decimated. One of the dbacks had been on the practice squad earlier in the year. They held it together. The line got pressure on Romo. They virtually shut down TO and Crayton. It was great. I was so excited during the game, I was teaching the dog to high-five. Boomer's a quick study! So - the only disappointing thing? I don't know any Cowboy fans that I can call and razz! Of course - reason for that is - well - what can I say about the character of a Cowboy fan? I see it as a serious character flaw. Anyway - one more thing to say - this was my alternate title - Gotcha Popcorn Ready?

Dancing Deer Baked Goods

OMG - this stuff is good. A Chocoholic's delight! A dieter's nemesis! A vendor sent me some stuff from dancing deer last year. I was so disappointed before Christmas when I got a little wallet sized notepad with a calculator from said vendor. Then - Wednesday - I walk into my office and there it is. The box. OMG! Last year I got 2 packages each of Chocolate Chunk Cookies and Brownies. This year, I got those as well and a chocolate espresso cake. I am usually a kind considerate person and share such goodies with everyone in the office. Well - I wasn't 100% kind. I kept one package of the cookies and one of the brownies all for me. Okay - giving myself a little credit, I did bring the brownies home and they are on the counter for A to have one if he wants. Not that I told him or that they are somewhere he might notice them - but if he finds them, I will not deny my beloved a brownie. But would I rather he not see them? So that I can have them all to myself? YAH! Who you kidding! My name is Kate and I'm a chocoholic. These are not helping my diet. Not at all. But - I shouldn't be wasteful. These are baked goods and without preservatives, so they need to be eaten in a timely fashion. Cleaning my plate, so to speak.
And the boxes they came in are neat too.
Seriously, if you need to send a gift to a chocoholic, http://www.dancingdeer.com/ They're the bomb.

The Club I DON'T want to join

The club I don't want to join just got a new member. A firefighter was killed on the job last night in Brooklyn. I was watching ER when they did one of their news teasers. He and his wife had a 2 year old and she's pregnant. My greatest fear is seeing the department car pull up in front of my house. I always tell A that I love him when he goes to work - just in case it's the last time I get to say it. If I'm home when he's leaving or he'll be leaving before I get home, I make sure to kiss him goodbye, just in case.